Welcome to my profile =)


8/17/02
Bored bored bored bored. Listened to 3EB cd 10 times, 19/BoA cd 40 times, and FinKL cd 30 times. I'm bored :P
8/02/02
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ow ow ow ow ow
I killed my shoulders practicing > < Now they hurt so bad it's not even funny. Eh, 5:21 in the morning, I think I'm NOT gonna pull an all nighter this time :P Lessee.... I discovered that the SAT2 for math is a pushover. :) Eh, just thought I should let you know the site's not dead yet ^^;;;;

7/22/02
I want to forget everything. Everything that I've ever done, learned, or experienced. I want to just get amnesia. I'll do anything for it...

7/19/02
I don't get it... I'm just so... confused. I used to think I knew myself. I used to feel secure when talking about myself. I used to think I appreciated myself. I used to think I was being as honest as possible when saying anything... and Bam. One week is all it takes to take all of that away. Who am I? Or rather, what the fuck am I doing? Who do I trust? Who can I trust? Why do I even speak, as it brings misery to others? Why do I even think, as it brings misery to all? Why am I doing all these things that keep giving me new things to regret? And just where... where did my feelings go... where...

Where is the old me!? Where is the Izzy that was here two weeks ago!? Why is there this... hollow... cold... robot in his place, confused as can be... Is there no peace for me? Or am I doomed to drain myself until I die of fatigue, both mentally and physically...

Or do I have to admit that I actually am depressed.

I see two roads... both of which are equally used. I know beforehand both roads will never meet, and won't go remotely near each other. Both roads have their consequences, both roads have their immediate effects. Both have risks, both have securities. And my heart is for the left, to fight to the end... but my soul is with the right, to retreat and ask for help...

I see now the supposed third is no longer an option. I have created my own problems, with my own two hands, and my own thoughts, and I will solve those problems, with the same two hands, with the same mind...

7/17/02
Argh, I'm so tired... I think I'm stressed out like a mother, but I'm not sure. That's the fourth day in a row I almost got run over by a car... actually this time I almost walked into the metro too :/ Oh, does anyone know sedatives that aren't addictive and are safe enough that I might not absent mindedly take an overdose?

7/15/02
Uh oh o.o I'm afraid... I almost got run over by a car today cuz I'm thinking about too many things -_-

7/14/02
Beware: The Shrike Legion Returns...
If the rest of the shrikes can be found, we're good to go... otherwise we're gonna hafta go find some recruits. Pity though, most of our old members aren't OLG anymore *sighs*
As a side note: Do we need a site, or shall we retain our site-less clanning again? Might need a site where we're going though, no more simple Infantry-ness.

Anyways, as long as I keep not being lazy (or overworked, stupid summer schools), I'll keep up THIS profile, not the shitty load of crap AIM gives us in the first place.

*shakes head* I have this feeling there's a conspiracy against me, either that or I'm just having paranoia symptoms... neither of which is good... at least, for me. I'm pretty sure some people (who won't be mentioned here) would be pretty goddamn glad tho if I went insane. Actually, I probably already am. Oh well.

Oh I almost forgot. John. Please? Pretty please? Please please please please please??

6/25/02
And the miraculous return of the original AIM profile page!! Yeah I know. I was too lazy to work on it.

And I still need to find a way to get my cruel and painful revenge on my friend. If I didn't tell you what happened, well, sucks to be you. Or maybe you're one of the lucky people who got affected by it o.o (AND ITS NOT TRUE! ARG!!!!!)

5/28/02
The more I try the more I sink. The more I sink the less I feel. The less I feel the more I think.

Never ending cycle, isn't this. In order to preserve my sanity I'm going to have to stay less and less in the world of sanity. Back to the real world.

Am I getting cold? Or am I simply unfeeling? Am I cruel or am I unlearned? Do I know what I'm doing or am I groping blindly in the dark?

You know, I really am stupid. Supression of emotions is impossible. No. It's more like... hiding emotions to the point that... when you DO show any emotions it's a complete and unstoppable flow. I hide pain and anger, but I never show it. I only show it if I feel complete and utter pain or anger. And hatred. But noone realizes that I feel it. Always. My childhood emotions are all there, flinching at every touch. Recoiling from all compassion. Laughing at every joke. Smiling with everyone. But no. I hide it all. Hide it, because why? Is there a reason to hide it. Or is it simply because I'm afraid. Of showing how I feel. The thought that twists and turns through my mind that's obstructed. Hidden. How long can I hold it all in. How long until I completely break. Every day is full of never ebbing tears. And I'm burning out. Burning out so fast it's over in a week. But I can't stop. And I go beyond what I can tolerate. And I hide everything. But I can't hide from myself. I die from within. The flames consuming everything I have. What emotions have I suppressed. Emotions that I've enflamed. One temptation to talk and it's out. All the emotions I've taken and stashed. The ones that I could not burn. The ones that live and gnaw at me. Waiting to be let out.



Isamu Bae says:
yicong, future druggy
AmazonessQ4 says:
^_^
AmazonessQ4 says:
and damn proud!

UsagiTsukino630 (8:06:58 PM): why don't u just be a more talkative person


Since AIM profiles are too short, and since SubProfiles suck, I decided to go ahead and make my own profile from scratch. Hell, it's easy, anyways. I'm gonna be putting whatever I put in my profile here, and thats means all my rants and wailings and all, but now I've got no space limitations. Weehoo. Y'all know you're gonna hate it ^^