In June of 96, My parents and I went to a company picnic from my parents work. It was held at a campground and I went into the pool. I was going up and down the slide in the pool and having a grand time. I was coming out of the pool when all of a sudden, I felt this incredible jolt that sent me back into the pool. I still had my hands holding onto the railing but I fell down a few stairs. I thought for a moment that maybe I was dreaming. The feeling almost felt like time had stopped and I woke up 5 seconds later in the same position. Very strange. I got out of the pool and then realized what it was.

Over the next year I had more and more of the shocks from the defribulator. Each time I would get the shock, I knew I would have to go to the hospital and I would end up staying there for a few days to check everything out.

My heart started deteriorating because of all the shocks and from just being sick. I would loose energy and go into the hospital for Dobutamine drip treatment. Its a IV drip solution that basically boosts your energy. It did help for awhile and then I had to go back in for more. After awhile I was in there every other week because I was just plain getting worse. In April of 1997 I was put on the list for a Heart Transplant.

I was put on the list because I could no longer live my life with the heart that I had. I was in a wheelchair, I couldn't get from Point A to Point B without getting overly exhausted. I had so much trauma from the defribulator (because it scared the crap out of me, and it hurts), and other factors. I was put on the list about 5 months after I bad incident which I think made my heart worse. I wasn't feeling well and my Aunt (who lives next door) wanted to know if I wanted to go to a store with her. I said yes and precided to walk down the street when I recieved a shock. I started to walk back home and I was short of breath and I had another shock. Here I am now, panicking because I didn't know what to do and I thought that it would just keep on doing this until I died. I started to scream since I was pretrified. My Stepfather and Uncle and neighbors came running and then I had another shock. This time I'm laying on the ground screaming my lungs off. Each time I had recieved the shocks, they were more stronger and powerful then the others. My stepfather took me inside the house where I sat down and my mother called the doctor. You have to understand something. This is a device that saved my life. I would never ever go through what I had gone through again, even if I knew I would be alive today. I would never wish my worst enemy (if I had one) to have one of those devices. I was conscious for every single shock I recieved from the defribulator. There is soooooooo much trauma in my system still after 4 years or so. It still is all there. Now, back to my story: I of course went to the hospital for getting the 3 shocks. I eventually was sent back home again, in worse condition of course.

In December Of 97 I recieved a New Heart. A month before that, the doctors wanted to do a stress test to see if I still needed to be on the list. LOL!!! Boy did I show them. I went on the bicycle test. ( I Will never forget this for the rest of my life) They put a close pin over my nose and put something in my mouth to restrict my breathing (like i wasn't having enough breathing problems). I started to do fine, but then I wanted to stop. When I stopped, I went into irregular rhythm. My heart rate shot up from 150 to 210. I recieved a shock just as they were pulling me off the bike. They put me on the bed as I recieved another shock. Okay, now heres a point where i'm Coding. All the nurses and doctors come running in the room as I'm screaming. I recieve 4 more shocks from the defribulator. After that I am still in the rhythm but everyones voices start to trail off and things start to get blury. I'm thinking, I'm dying. I asked them whats happening. They told me I would be okay. They told me that the defribulator can only shock so many times, then it resets itself, and begins to look for abnormal rhythm. BUT if you are already in abnormal rhythm then it does detect it. It detects only new rhythm. So they were waiting till I passed out before that would issue me another shock. Meanwhile they had oxygen up to me, and I couldn't feel anything. I woke up, very exhausted, and very out of energy. I felt the oxygen that they were trying to give me. I prayed to god thanking him I was alive. I was put in ICU that night and watched over.

I was very thankful that a month later we recieved a page from the hospital. We called them back and they told me that I was a backup that if something happened to the person that was suppose to get it, that i would recieve the heart. Well we thought I wasn't going to get it because time was going by. I just walked slowly to my room, and I just felt like i was going to be dead soon, when the phone rang. I listened to my mother answer the phone and I was just waiting for her to sigh a depressed sigh. Instead she said "what?", "its a go?"? I almost dropped. My mother thought it was a joke. We honestly couldn't believe that all this time, there was finally a heart there. I couldn't believe that after all the time I suffered that I was actually going to be brand new by the next day. I went in for my operation at about 8pm. It was the scariest process ever. You don't know what it is like to go down the elevator and into the operating room and lie on the table and just think your going to die. You don't have a choice in the matter. There is no turning back when you hit that spot. You just go in another state of mind. But here I am, 4 years later, almost 5, and I'm healthy as can be. I take medication for the rest of my life, but if thats what I need to live, I'm all for it. I work a full time job and I go to school for one class and I'm doing excellent. I will always have the trauma in me. If something even reminds me of it, I will get nervous or what not. It is even very difficult to type this out without not crying or flashbacking or what not. Very scary. But I'm healthy and happy now :P Long story HUH? lol

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