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Homework Excuses

1. I was doing it while I was taking a shit and wiped my ass with it by accident.                                            

2. My house is being fumigated and I don't want to go in there and suffocate just to get it.

3. A bunch of nerds stole it to make sure theirs were completely perfect.

4. I didn't do it because I spent all night doing the previous night's homework.

5. My skimpy printer ran out of ink.

6. I let somebody copy it but they never gave it back.

7. I skipped it to spite you and your authority.

8. I have a life.   

9. Would $50.00 give me another day to complete the assignment?

10. I left it in my locker with last week's assignment.

11. It wasn't challenging enough.

12.  It was too challenging.

13.  I didn't think I needed to.

14.  Joe asked Ashley out!  Homework?  Right..

15.  I was hacking into the school computer network but my crappy computer crashed and I stayed up until 3:30 reformatting my hard drive.  I fixed it, but fell asleep at the keyboard before I could try again.

16.  One of the textbook's word problems offended me.  I'm not supporting them by doing any more of their problems.

17.  I just...didn't feel like it.

18.  My cat pissed on it thinking it was a newspaper that we put down for her.

19.  I'm an environmentalist.  Two sheets of looseleaf paper?  That's a tree!

20.  I did it, but I'm not turning it in because one of the commas is out of shape.  Erasing it would smudge it and whiting it out would make it smell funny.  You know I'm a perfectionist!

21.  I'm failing anyway, so what's the point?

22.  I'd get a better grade not doing it and studying then doing it and not having any time to study.

23.  It's only 25% of my grade!

24.  Where'd you get that wig?

25.  A mad circus clown stole it on my bus stop and tried luring me into his house with it.

26. We had homework?

27. My palm pilot broke.

28. The bus seat was too wet to finish it this morning.

29. I couldn't find the answer book in the library.

30. I got hungry...

31. I'm afraid that if I try, I'll keep failing.

32. History repeats itself. I didn't do my homework last week.

33. I couldn't find a writing utensil.

34. I was at an amusement park all day yesterday.

35. Hey, look! There's an elephant outside!

36. I used it for spitballs.

37. I didn't finish copying it yet.

38. It was too boring.

39. ANTS!

40. John took it and put his name on it.

41. I didn't do it.

42. It is absent.

43. It is on vacation.

44. I see dead people.

45. It was raining and I slipped and the paper fell and it got muddy and when I cleaned it off the ink was all gone and I tried to copy someone's paper, but the copier ran out of ink and my computer was broken so I couldn't print it.

46. What is homework? (use on first day of school)

47. I didn't do it bitch.

48. I went to the mall with my friends. Do you know what friends are?

49. I spent all my money for pens and paper at the store on condoms and lubricant. Trojan man! Da da da duh daaaa!                       

50. My piece of advice: homework does not make good spitballs.