Sap: A Guardians Side Story

I give the chocobo a last pat before walking out of the stables. I’m sure the riding bird is as glad to be home as I am. Balamb Garden. It hasn’t been my home for long but it feels like I’ve been here forever. It’s a beautiful place, but more than that it’s the place where my friends are.

It’s past curfew so the students are abed or have snuck off somewhere, either way they aren’t in the halls. There are a few SeeDs about. Back from a mission or just up late. I tip my hat in response to their occasional greetings.

They are surprised to see me. It’s been two months since I left. Disappeared without a trace as cowboys and snipers are wont to do, and I am both of those.

I hope she can forgive me. I needed time to think. Time to be sure that it was real and not just another fling. Despite my reputation I’m a romantic deep down at heart, if you can find my heart.

Quistis Trepe, my golden haired goddess. The love of my life. The one woman who has ever managed to capture my heart along with the attention I give anything female. She is beautiful, my love. Her eyes are jewel bright blue and her hair is the color of new minted gold and far more precious. She is stately and slender and graceful. And I would love her if she were a hideous hag, or a funguar.

Because she is smart and funny and unimpressed with my charm. Because she can see past my glib cowboy exterior and still love me. Because she loves me, I love her, and that is both fair and true.

And I love her still, though by this time she may well have ceased to return that love.

I want to go and ask her now. Ask if she forgives me. Ask if she loves me. Ask if she will stay with me forever. But it is late and I don’t want to wake her. I will compromise by checking her office. She often works late, she has a great desire to do everything herself, to prove that she can do it.

The light is on. I am not sure whether to be elated or apprehensive. Dare I just walk in after all this time? Will she hug me, or hit me, or just ignore me?

I knock timidly at the office door.

“I’m busy,” she calls. Oh how I have missed that voice. Even tired and irritated it is to me as a drink of water to a man in the desert.

“It’s Irvine,” I reply. I hear the squeak of the wheels on her chair as she pushes it out. The door opens and she stands there for a second. Just looking at me, her eyes nearly as icy as Squall’s and that is a difficult thing to pull off.

She hugs me then, tight like she’s afraid I’ll disappear again. And maybe she is. Then she steps back.

“Where the hells have you been?” then she hits me. She doesn’t slap my face, she isn’t that sort of woman. She socks me a good one in the gut so that I double over gasping.

“Bastard! Where did you go?” she demands again.

“I was thinking,” I gasp out and straighten a little, she looks likely to hit me again. I deserve it. “Ya ever get scared Quistis?”

Her fist unclenches and she waits for me to finish.

“I got scared. I’ve never felt about anyone the way I do about you. Nobody’s ever gotten to my heart like you did, like you do,” I say.

She melts a little, recognizing that this isn’t just another speech meant to get me in good graces but an honest attempt to express something.

“I missed you Irvine. I didn’t know if I’d ever see you again.

” I hope she doesn’t cry, I’d rather she hit me again than that I made her cry.

“I missed you too, Quistis. I realized something. I can’t live without you and I wouldn’t want to. So even though I don’t deserve to be forgiven, I ask for your forgiveness.”

She hugs me again, a bone cracking, breath stealing hug. Then she kisses me fiercely, like she’s claiming me and I claim her right back.

“Of course I forgive you. I love you,” she whispers.

“Quistis I know this isn’t the best time or the right setting but I have to ask,” I say. I’d meant to take her out somewhere. Romantic dinner, candles, violins, the whole nine yards, but I can’t wait, I have to know. I take out the box, velvet outside, silk inside and nestling among the silk a golden band, a promise.

“Quistis, will you marry me,” such simple words for such a wondrous thing. She wasn’t expecting this, and at the same time she was. I can tell by the look on her face that she didn’t expect me to ask her. Not now and maybe not ever. But I have and I mean it.

“I…” She bites her lip. I’ve blown it, I should have waited, or never left, or something other than what I have done.

“I will, yes Irvine. I’ll marry you, I love you.”

And I can think of just one thing to say and I know it is the right thing.

“I love you too.”