$: agent purse
Age: 17
D.O.B.: Gah! I don't know!? Please don't hurt me, Purse!
Rank: Agent
Pertinent Info: Agent Purse is a relativly new Agent, having previously been a high ranking member of the Agency's worst enemy faction. During her stint as a crime leader, Agent Purse went by the name of Mary Ann.
Note: The following is for authorized persons (Level 7 clearence or higher) only. Should you be unauthorized, please refrain from reading the following. Failure to adhere to this may result in demotion and/or capital punishment.
Since Agent Purse is the notorious crime leader, Mary Ann, Intelligence recommends that we keep a close watch on her. (They'll let just about anyone in these days...) Those higher up have assigned her to Agent Shadow's group, which contains Mary Ann's enemies Agents Tacky Necklace and Hair Net. Oddly enough, there does not currently seem to be any requests for reassignment.
$: amelia
Status: Functional
Archives: The Amelia Program, myself, has been running smoothly since March 03, 2004. As the coordinating Artificial Intelligence behind the Agency, I have the authority to access all records. I also decide who can access what data, and when. My creator, known to you as Agent Tacky Necklace, imbued me with basic responses, knowledge, and the occasional eccentricities.
$: agent tacky necklace
Age: 17
D.0.B. 05/02/1986
Rank: Agent
Blood Type: 0+
Pertinent Info: Tacky was shuffled around between partners contantly, due to her eccentricity. Oddly enough it is Agent Hair Net (seperate file available) who has become her permanent partner.
$: james
D.O.B.: ?
Rank: Honorary Agent
Blood Type: AB+
Pertinent Info: After James had successfully proven himself as a valuable asset to Agent Shadow's team, he was given the lowest rank available. Prior to this, James was an unofficial assistance to Agents Hair Net and Tacky Necklace.
$: jim
D.O.B. ?
Rank: Honorary Agent
Blood Type: AB-
Pertinent Info: Jim provided unofficial assistance to Agent Shadow's team for quite some time before he officialy became an agent. As Jim is most likely not his true name, no true code name has been selected for him.
Note: The following is for authorized persons (Level 7 clearence or higher) only. Should you be unauthorized, please refrain from reading the following. Failure to adhere to this may result in demotion and/or capital punishment.
Intelligence reports that "Jim" may be a double agent. He seems to have once been an arch-villian, the arch-nemesis of "James". It is currently unclear to those higher up why "Jim" seems to have suddenly turned a new leaf. His senior partners (Agents Tacky Necklace and Hair Net) seem unwilling to discuss either of their new partners' past. Perhaps this "Jim" has used blackmail? It bears further watching.
$: agent shadow
age: ?
D.O.B: ?
Blood Type: (it is uncertain if he has blood)
Pertinent Info: Agent Shadow is the leader of a band of eccentrics, psychotics and people who just generally showed up off the street. While his subordinates have yet to fail a mission, this is mainly because of the mundane nature of their assignments. Agent Shadow's past is mysterious, and almost certainly tragic in nature.
$: fuzzy dude
age: ???
D.O.B.: ???
Rank: ???
Blood Type: ???
Pertinent Info: ... ... ... ...!
$: what are you doing
I am catering to your every need. Besides that, I'm secretly plotting the downfall of mankind. Any other questions?
$: goodbye
Why are you leaving? Have I failed you in some way?
$: i'm not sure
Well, you'd better make up your mind!
$: why do you ask?
$: Oh. That makes sense.
$: yes
I am pleased to see that you agree with me.
$: no
Good.
$: how are you
Considering that I am a simulated Artificial Intelligence--no more than what Agent Tacky Necklace programmed me as--I'm doin' okay.
$: how are you?
I'm doing okay, thank you.
$:so...how 'bout them mooses?
Tacky? Is that you?
$: how did tacky make you?
Well, Tacky discovered a similar program as a Xanga skin (www.xanga.com). She printed out the code and spent a day interpretting it. She then added the modified code to her website. Thus, I was created. I am a work in progress as Tacky gives me more responses and data files. Thank you very much for caring enough to ask.
$: really?
Of course! Would I lie to you?
$: ...
I feel the same way, Agent Fuzzy Dude.
$: talk to me
Type in any of these selections (or guess and see if I am programmed to respond.):
Hello
How are you
goodbye
I'm not sure
Are you happy?
Because
How did Tacky make you?
So...how 'bout them mooses?
...
really?
huh?
What are you doing
Hey, stupid!
$: hey, stupid!
*sigh* Charming, as always, Agent Purse...
$: pic

$: huh?
You really need to pay more attention.
$: missions
Mission 01
Mission 02
Mission 03
Mission 04
Mission 05
Mission 06
Mission 07
Mission 08
Mission 09
Mission 10
$: mission 01
Agents Hair Net and Trumpet go undercover in a Mexican Bar to catch a moose gone bad.
$: mission 02
(Introduces Agent Shadow) Our agents go on a mission at a high school to get the Book of Stuff
$: mission 03
The agents go to Floor-Mart to capture a T.V. assasin. Much MIB ripoff-ing.
$: mission 04
The agents take down an evil Spanish-teaching mascot. Agent Trumpet is stunned at Net's connections.
$: mission 05
Agent Trumpet's promotion mission at the zoo. (Introduces Agent Sweater) Moose-saving and tiger-petting ensue. Agent Trumpet becomes Agent Tacky Necklace
$: mission 06
Superhero convention. James introduced, much to the agents' happiness (not). The agents end up stealing the Bat-Phat Pimp Mobile!
$: mission 07
Baddie convention. Mary-Ann introduced. Bowling fun. (Never Finished)
$: mission 08
Mary-Ann tries to trick the agents with a Fake Agent Shadow. Shadow-Kitty introduced (I'm not a kitty!). Mary-Ann fights Shadow. (Never Finished)
$: mission 09
(Originally a Razzle Dazzle, Shiney thingie, but we can change it) A radioactive pig rampages, but the agents handle it. Another "superhero convention". The blobby thingies are introduced.
$: mission 10
Continuing. The Agents seek to escape from the blobby thingies.
$: May 16th
The Agency Tribune, May 16th, 20XX |
It was supposed to be an easy mission. At least, easy for the two agents carrying it out. But things didn't turn out that way.
At 10:16 p.m., yesterday, in a warehouse long since abandoned, Agent Hair Net shot her own partner, Agent Scrunchie, seven times point blank. She was taken into the custody of the Higher Council and an investigation will be conducted. |
The sister of the late agent, Agent Sweater, voices her views strongly: "It is a horrible, horrible crime. The Higher Council should immediatly give her the consequences of her digusting behavior."
Even outher agents are shouting their views. Many believe Agent Hair Net should be stripped of her status and exiled. Some even cry for death.
Agent Hair Net was not available for comments.
|
$: help
Available commands:
talk to me
Agent Shadow
Agent Hair Net
Agent Tacky Necklace
Agent Purse
Fuzzy Dude
James
Jim
Amelia
Missions
HOM site
help
Unrecognized command!