When I was a child of eight, I found a Bible in the church basement and adopted it. The Lord gave me two verses during those early years:
I was glad when they said unto me, let us go unto the House of the Lord.
The earth is My footstool, and Heaven is My Throne, what manner of House will you build for Me?
For years, I had no idea of what the Lord was asking of me. It was not until the year 2000 did the Lord fully reveal His purpose for my life.
As a child, I had a lot of problems with my dad. After high school, I left home and headed off to college. I was answering a call on my life to preach that I had received in May of my 13th year, but once I was free of adult supervision, I charted my own rebellious course. The Lord had prepared a wonderful path for me. I was baptized in the Holy Spirit, and anointed by presbytery in 1975, and He opened the doors to go for formal training at Montreat Anderson College in North Carolina, a charismatic church who hosted all the big names: Kathryn Kuhlman, Oral Roberts, Richard and Patty, Jamie Buckingham, just to name a few, but I did not have the eyes to see what the Lord had placed in front of me. I left the college and the church and proceeded out into the world.
After years of making a mess of my life, I joined a Baptist Church. In May of 1981, in the wee hours of the morning, the Lord called me to be one of His watchman.
Now we are His watchman
Sitting on the city wall
There to warn the stranger
Of calamity that may fall.
Throw your towel in with sin
Look to God on High
Start a brand new life with Him
And Be Ready In Season
But, in a Baptist Church, the only understanding I had about being a watchman was apologetics. I put my heart and soul into preparing for my call to "contend" for the faith. It wasn't long before the spirit of jezebel ripped that small church into pieces. At the time, I had no idea of who or what a jezebel spirit was, but as I look back, I see the awful damage that was done.
Discouraged and disillusioned by the whole thing, I headed back into the world. I tried to fit there, but never did find a rest. By 1990, the spirit of fear had already moved into my life and taken up residence. I lived in Fruita, Colorado and worked nights in the industrial security business. This job provided me with 40 hours of late night quiet where I was free to read my Bible and listen to Christian music. At the time, I wasn't anywhere near the place in my heart of answering my call to preach. I thought I had missed my chance because of the shame I would bring on the cross for the worldly living I had done. I felt I knew there was no place in a pulpit for me.
As I said, the spirit of fear had taken up residence within my life, so much so that when it snowed, I would just tremble. One of those nights at work, it began to snow. I was seized with the fear of driving home the next morning when I got off work. That snow pressed me to the Lord for help. I went to the ladies room and got down on my knees and prayed. In essence, what I told the Lord was, 'if I am going to die because of the snow, then I need to give You my life now. Do what you want with it. If I live, I will live unto You, if I die, at least I know I am coming home." This was the beginning of my return to the path the Lord had called me to walk.
In 1991, I entered Mesa State College to complete my degree. I stayed with my Baptist roots but spent lots of quiet time with the Lord. I entered Colorado Christian University in 1995 and graduated with my Master's degree in 1997. I felt the Lord was calling me to seminary so I applied for schooling, but the Lord had other plans for my schooling.
In 1998, I answered the Lord's call on my life. I was again at the place where my life was full of problems and I needed His help. Although I was walking for Him, I was walking a normal earthly life and asking the Lord to bless it. But when I gave Him my life this time, I gave it all. I stood before Him and told Him I would do what He wanted, go where He wanted, and be who He wanted me to be. I gave up all my own plans for any plans He had for my life. That was what He was waiting for, total yielding.
I entered The School of the Holy Spirit and my whole life changed. Everything. If you would have told me what changes were going to happen, even the best of my yielding would not have been fully true. To see my life then and see what the Lord has done for me now.. amazing. Once "school" started, it seemed the Lord intensified the classes extremely. After only three months, I do believe He had walked me through the first level of most every concept of our faith. Since then, most of all the things He has been teaching are only deeper levels of those first few months.
In May of 1998, the Holy Presence of the Lord came upon me and He laid His hands upon my head and ordained me for His service. A few days later, He revealed to me my call to the office of a prophet. These revelations from Him have survived the greatest attacks, and my faith in my knowing has not wavered, but my understanding of my call continues to grow and mature.
In 2000, late in the evening, the Lord called me over to the table where my Bible sat. I was led to open it to Acts 7:46, "David found favor with God and asked for the privilege of building a permanent Temple for the God of Jacob. (47) But it was Solomon who actually built it. (48) However, the Most High doesn't live in temples made by human hands. As the prophet says,
Heaven is my throne
and the earth is my footstool.
Could you ever build me a temple as good as that?
asks the Lord.
I stood at the table looking over the verses. I had received them years ago. I knew I would like to build Him a church where miracles happened in the lives who approached the Lord for help for their pains. A place where God could be big, real, and a real help to those in their many needs. A place where the God of the Red Sea would part their Red Seas. But, as I looked at those verses, I told the Lord I saw the part that said, "However the Most High doesn't live in temples made by human hands." I hung my head down before Him in the minute of visitation because scripture outweighed my desire.
He said, "Ask."
I raised my head, unsure of thoughts, arguments, and doubts.
"Father," I remember saying so quietly, no emotion, no elation, just a moment of pure quiet, "May I build Your building."
He told me yes and in that instant, a full color image flashed suddenly across my field of vision. It was a large aluminum framed building with rows and rows of seats down the middle, up along the sides, and high into the rafters. The flash of this vision was so fast that I did not catch it all until later I saw a picture of a building just like the vision.
After this visit, I knew what had happened, but I knew it was not going to be that day, or even that year.
Since that time, the Lord has steadily continued His training. It was soon after this event that the Lord gave me the name, "Crosslight Ministries. I have carried that name, as Abraham carried his name meaning "father of many sons" before he had even one. The Lord, He has been faithful and constant. I have wavered up and down. There have been so many things that I have not understood. Things have been tough at times, trying to grow into the leader He desires. It was about three months ago that I got into some serious trouble with the Lord. We had one of those intense moments where He chastised me (and I knew I was being chastised by the Most Holy God.. every cell in your body knows it too). I was heading down the wrong road in my heart. I have always been one who thought that things like His call on my life is great for someone else, but me? I would have been the type to give His ministry away to someone whom I perceived deserved it more than I. This time, the Lord stepped on my "false humility."
If those who are called to be leaders won't step up and take the responsibility, then there are going to be some who are hurt because of our so called meekness. Then there came a time when the vision I had of the call to the ministry seemed to be fading. I sought the Lord intently after I failed on a fast. I told Him I needed a vision to press toward, I told Him that He was the One who said that His people perish due to lack of vision. I asked Him, "please, give me the vision You have for me."
Oh bless Him.
He gave me my vision restored and refreshed. And with it, He has given me a new strength and understanding. Crosslight Ministries is ahead. As I am being prepared, so are the others who will serve Him there. I believe the foundation has already been prepared in His servants, and the details are being etched into them now as we speak. Through His servants, our Lord will part Red Seas, heal their diseases, and draw them eternally close to Himself.
There ahead is the good soil. In the good soil is the return of 30,.. 60,.. 100 fold return to Him who has sown in our lives.
Father, unto to You
Be all Glory!