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Bumper Stickers:

High beams were made to pis* people off!

Keep honking, I am reloading!.

Death is life's way of telling you you're fired.

If it doesn't fit, force it; if it breaks, it needed replacement anyway.

Horn Broke. Watch For Finger!

Some people are only alive because it's illegal to kill.

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.

I don't drive fast I fly low.

My Driving Stats:
1% Brakes
.05% Caution
.1% Obeying Laws
.1%Watching for others
98.75% PURE UNRESTRAINED SPEED!!!!!

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Stupid Quotes

"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada."
- Britney Spears, Pop Singer

Murphy's Laws

Every solution breeds new problems..

It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.

Availability is a function of time. The minute you get interested is the minute they find someone else.

If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.

Computers are unreliable, but humans are even more unreliable. Any system which depends on human reliability is unreliable.

If it's not in the computer, it doesn't exist.