Any Kine This

Thank you for visiting my site. Here's a picture to look at for now. 100% Surefire Pickup Lines • "Where do you live?" • "I'd really like to lick apricot brandy out of your navel." • "Hi. I'm Big Brother. I've been watching you..." • "Would you like to join me in the Bahamas next week?" • "Would you like to see my Congressional Medal of Honor?" ...then, after fumbling with finding it, "Oops! I must have left it at home." • "You shouldn't run around looking like that or one of us sex-starved young men might attack you." • Did you have a color television when you were a kid? (Flesh this out with the old "settle an argument" trick, ask her what color Fred Flintstone's dog Dino is. This has *never failed* to generate further conversation.) • You're "no parking", aren't you? (Another two-parter. Explain that you're trying to guess her sign. This is so stupid that it's almost bulletproof in the right kind of bars.) • "Why don't you surprise your roommate and not come home tonight?" • "What's your blood type?" • "I'm into semiology. What's your sign?" • At the laudromat, "How much bleach should I put in with my good suit?" • Once, I was in a coffee shop and while the waitress was pouring my cup of coffee she said, "Say when." Response: "As soon as I finish this coffee." All it got me was a nasty look. • "Hi, I'm incredibly rich." • "Hey, I know you! You were Miss Ohio last year, weren't you?" • "Wow, I like your jeans. Did you design them yourself?" • "What a lovely dog! Does it have a phone?" • "Lie down; I think I love you." • "Want to go to my place for some data? 1600 BPI -- the good stuff!" • Gee, you look like my sister • I can sense that you're a terrific lover, and it intimidates me a little. • If I weren't so romantic, I'd shoot you. • I can't help noticing that you left your peas. • Isn't my father your tax attorney? • I bet you have delicious thighs. • If you went swimming with me, I'd lick you dry. • Do you believe in love at first sight? How about the synchronocity of multiple orgasms? • My lenses turn dark in the sunshine of your love. • My friend and I have a fifty-cent bet that you won't take off your blouse in a public place. • I only have a month to live, and I feel like I've never really lived before. My appendix is about to burst, would you drive me to the hospital? • I've just received government funding for a four-hour expedition to find your G-spot. • Not only am I rude and tasteless and trying to get you into bed, but I'm also being paid for it. • Can you believe that just a few hours ago we'd never even been to bed together? • Have you ever had sex underwater? • You look remarkably like our gardener. • Shall I wait for you in my car or will the closet suffice? • I know a great way to burn off the 300 calories in that pastry you just ate. • I'm learning Latin; would you like to come home with me and help me practice oral declinsions? • I've been slightly depressed ever since my vasectomy. • Do you wanna fuck or do you have herpes? • You look nice and clean. • You've got nice tits; wanna fuck? • No, that's not a gun in my pocket. I am happy to see you. • Is that a tic-tac in your pocket or are you just glad to see me? • You look like a hooker I knew in Fresno. • I'm drunk. • I just threw up. • You're ugly but you intrigue me. • I had to find out what kind of woman would go out dressed like that. • You know, I'd really love to fuck your brains out, but it appears someone beat me to it. • Are you wearing windex? I swear I can see myself in your pants. • They call me Milk, because I do your body good. • Hey baby, what winks and fucks like a tiger? • You sweat just like David Dinkins. • Your daddy must be a drug dealer cos you dope. • Well, fuck me if I'm wrong but is your name Bob? • If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me? • (Wait til the end of the evening when everything is real hazy and alcohol soaked, walk up to someone you've never met and say, ) come on, we're leaving. (The key is to act like you know them.) • Does your ass still hurt from when you fell out of heaven? • Do you believe in love at first sight? If not, I'll walk by again. • You don't sweat much for a fat girl. • (Lick your finger and touch the person, touch yourself with it and say,) let's you and me get out of these wet clothes. • If I follow you home, will you keep me? • Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes. • Hey babe, can I tickle your belly button from the inside? • Do you want to fuck, or should I apologize? • That dress would look great on the floor next to my bed. • Let's take a shower together --you smell. • Yo, my friend likes you. • Nice titties. • Hey, sweet tits! • Do you want to see something swell? • Hey babe...do you realize that my mouth can generate over 750 psi? • Drop 'em! • Excuse me. • Wanna fuck like bunnies? • Say, did we go to different schools together? • Why don't you come over here, sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up? • I had a friend who used to hand out phone cards that said:"Smile if you want to sleep with me." And watch them try to hold back their laugh. • Hi, my name is {name}, how do you like me so far? • Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money? • Would you like to dance or should I go fuck myself again? • Hey baby, let's go make some babies. • At the office copy machine."Reproducing eh?""Can I help?" Would you like Gin and platonic or do you prefer Scotch and sofa? • I think we have to make love on the front lawn like crazed weasels NOW! • Hey babe...can you suck a golf ball thru 50 feet of garden hose? • Hey babe...can you suck start a Harley? • Motion with your finger for a girl to come over. When she gets there say, "I knew if I fingered you long enough you would cum." • Hey babe, how about a pizza and a fuck? HEY! What's wrong, don't you like pizza? • A women asks, "Excuse me, do you have the time?" You: "Do you have the energy?" • Hey babe, wanna get LUCKY!? • Say mother, want another? (if she has kids) • Bond. James Bond. • Do you spit or swallow? • You look like the type of girl that has heard every line in the book. So what's one more? • Your place or mine? • Nice shoes, wanna fuck? • You have some nice jewelry. It would look great on my nightstand. • Would you like to have morning coffee with me? • Your face or MINE!? • "Are you ready to go home yet?" • When she asks, for a match. How about the hair on my head and the hair between your legs? • Nice tits. Mind if I feel them? • I love you. I want to marry you. Now fuck my brains out. • Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist. • Wanna play carnival? You sit on my face and I guess how much you weigh. • I wanna floss with your pubic hair. • I'm on fire. Can I run through your sprinkler? • I'd look good on you. • Excuse me, have I fucked you yet? • I'd give you a piece of my mind, but I have more of something else. • I would kill or die to make love to you. Sex is a killer...want to die happy? • I love every bone in your body - especially mine. • Hi, I make more money than you can spend. • HI! Can I buy you a car? • NOW, BITCH! • Fancy a fuck? • My face is leaving in 10 minutes. Be on it. • Should I call you in the morning or nudge you? • I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment? • Look at the tag in her shirt and say:"I want to see if you were really made in heaven." • Do I know you from somewhere, because I don't recognize you with your clothes on? • You got nice breasts, but what color are your nipples? Brown or Pink? • Do you mind if I ask you a personal question? Have you ever had your belly-button licked? ...(Yes)...From the inside? • Your legs must be tired because you've been running through my mind all night. • If your right leg was Christmas and your left leg was Easter, would you let me spend some time up between the holidays? • Hi, how are you? • Really like your peaches, wanna shake your tree. • Hi, my name is {name}, I like peanut butter, wanna fuck? • I am a magical being, take off your bra. • Hey baby, wanna go halves on a bastard? • Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation? (No.) Do you wanna go upstairs and talk. • Hold out two fingers and say:"Why should a women masturbate with these two fingers?" (I don't know.)"'Cause they're mine sweetheart." • I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand. • Can I borrow a quarter? ["What for?"] : I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams. OR I want to call your mother and thank her. • Is your daddy a thief? ["No."] Then how did he steal the sparkle of the stars and put it in your eyes? [Be ready with a snappy answer in case they say "yes."] • You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear. • Would you be my love buffet? So I can lay you out on the table and take what I want? • Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway. • The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word. • My name's [your name]. That's so you know what to scream. • My name's [your name], but you can call me "lover." • Can I flirt with you? • Your daddy must have been a baker, 'cause you've got a nice set of buns. • [Look at his/her shirt label. When they say, "What are you doing?":] Checking to see if you were made in heaven. OR: Checking to see if you're the right size. • All those curves, and me with no brakes. • Fuck me if I'm wrong, but don't you want to kiss me? • [Grab his/her tush.] Pardon me, is this seat taken? • Is it hot in here or is it just you? • Can I have directions? ["To where?"] To your heart. • If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. • How about you sit on my lap and we'll see what pops up? • Do you know what'd look good on you? Me. • I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me? • So... How am I doin'? • [Tap your thigh] You just think this is my leg. • The first time is always the hardest. • Excuse me, are you on the pill? • Hi there. Do you swallow? • Wow! Are those real? • Hey babe, wanna make an easy fifty bucks? • Nice dress/pants, can I talk you out of it? • I looked up the word "beautiful" in the thesaurus today, and your name was included. • I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me? • I had sex with someone last night. Was that you? • Do you take it up the ass? • Is that a tic-tac in your shirt pocket or are you just glad to see me? • Have you got a little Irish/German/Spanish/Italian/etc in you? Uh...no.... Well, do you want some? • What would you do if I kissed you right now? • Pardon me but I was just about to go home and masturbate and I was wondering if you'd mind if I fantasize about you? • Miss, if you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in? • Ever tried those weird prickly condoms? • Hey, somebody farted. Let's get out of here. • You've got the whitest teeth I've ever come across. • Do you sleep on your stomach? No. Can I? • Pardon me, but what pickup line works best with you? • Pull my finger. • Hey baby, let's go back to my place and get something straight between us. • Your left leg is Thanksgiving and your right leg is Christmas. Can I come between the holidays? • They say love is a many splendored thing. Let's make some and find out... • Hi. I go down on the first date...how about you? • Hi, what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this? • Do you like apples? [Yes] How 'bout I take ya home and fuck the shit out of ya, how'd ya like dem apples? • I'll suck you so hard that you'll have to pick the sheets out of your ass when I'm finished. • Will you marry me and have my children? (unfortunate side-effects: beware!) • Inheriting eighty million bucks doesn't mean much when you have a weak heart. • I want to thank you for [insert any event here], grab your ankles bitch! • Ya know, if we cut your arms off, you'd look just like Venus de Milo. • Hey, baby, wanna lock crotches and swap gravy? • "I would gladly crawl naked on my hands and knees through broken glass in the middle of February at 3 am. in a howling blizzard just to get a sniff of the exhaust fumes from the garbage truck taking your sperm-soaked, skid-marked panties to the landfill site" • You have some nice jewelry. It would look great on my nightstand. • "Are you ready to go home yet?" • Chicks dig me; I wear colored underwear. • Excuse me, is it true that you're a sexual tyrannosaurus? • You know what I like about you? My arms. • I think you're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen... On a Wednesday. • Excuse me, why is your drink glowing? • How did you achieve such a gaudy effect with only FDA-approved cosmetics? • Do you believe in one-night-stands? • With one touch, I could make you make sounds that only a dog could hear. • If I said you have an ugly body, would you hold it against me? • If I gave you a neglige for my birthday, would there be anything in it for me? • If you were a tear in my eye I would not cry for fear of losing you. • I'm leaving this place... want to cum? • I know this is going to sound like a line, but did that sound like a line? And are you dissapointed? • Who's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this? • I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk. • Free mamograms, get your free mamograms here, get 'em while they're hot! • Do you have a quarter? Too bad, becuase I need to call my mother and tell her that I found the woman of my dreams. • Do you have a map? I just get lost in your eyes. • Are you religious? Good, because I'm the answer to your prayers. • Do you have a boyfriend? Well, when you want a MANfriend, come and talk to me. • I am conducting a feel test of how many woman have pierced nipples? • Is it that cold out or are you just smuggling tic-tac's • You smell wet. Let's Party. • Pardon me miss, but I can't help noticing that you have cum in your hair. • Walk over to a table occupied by ladies, whip out your `pud' and say: Hey charlie, see anyone here you recognize? • I saw you at the party last weekend and you look kind of interesting... Let's meet sometime... • I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good. • No, I'm not a cop. What can I get for fifty bucks? • Hello, Susie. Your mom couldn't make it this afternoon, she asked me to pick you up and take you home. My, what a pretty dress. • Excuse me, do you live around here often? • Excuse me, I'm a little short on cash, would you mind if we shared a cab home together? • What's your sign? • You have the ass of a great artist. • Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you. • I've gotta thirst, baby, and you smell like my Gatorade • If I was Elvis, would you screw me? • Didn't anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me?!?! I thought you knew... • Cold out isn't it? (staring at breasts) • "What was that?" "That sound." "It was the sound of my heart breaking." • I need your help. I must expel some seminal fluid. May I use your body? • Stand back, I'm a doctor. You go get an ambulance, I'll loosen her clothes. • Do you know, your hair and my pillow are perfectly colour coordinated. • Do you like jewels? Well suck my cock, it's a GEM. • I'll bet you 10 bucks I could get all your cloths off in 30 seconds • Since we shouldn't waste this day and age what you say we use these condoms in my pocket before they expire • Would you like to see me naked ?? • I lost my phone number can I borrow yours ?? • I was sitting here holding this cigarrete and I realized I'd rather be holding you • If your parents hadn't met I'd be very a very unhappy man right now • Anything drugs can do I can do with my tongue • Either way, I'm going to have you tonight, so you may as well be there. • Wanna go halves in a baby ? • Do you like chicken? Suck this it's foul! • Do you know the difference between a hamburger and a blow job? No! D'ya wanna do lunch! • I feel like Richard Gere, I'm standing next to you, the Pretty Woman. • "Sit on my face and let me get to 'nose' you better?" • The chick that usually sucks my dick has a shirt just like yours! • You know, the woman I'd forget about for you is blonde, too! • Do you eat pork ? • I couldn't help noticing that you were a chick, and, you know, chicks dig me... • Didn't I meet you in prison? • Wanna come back to my place and see my extensive Snapple-cap collection? • So seriously, what do think about the dialectical concept of nothingness? • Elvis was a genius, don't you agree? • You like pain too? • I'M VERY VERY VERY LONELY, and I was wonderin'... • Wanna feel my zyphoid process? I've got a HUGE zyphoid process. • I love my doggy. I killed my doggy. I love you. Come here, doggy. • I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand. • You see my friend over there? [Point to friend who sheepishly waves from afar] He wants to know if YOU think I'M cute. • Hey I am a wrestler, let me take you down. • I'll cook you dinner if you cook me breakfast. • Those are nice jeans, do you think I could get in them? • I don't normally use pick up lines, but______(insert any of the above). • What do you say we go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply. • "I'm down here!" • "Just because I've got bells on my feet doesn't mean I'm a sissy!" • I was a lawn ornament for Gary Sweet." • "I can get you off the naughty list!" • "I have certain needs that can't be satisfied by working on toys." • "It's not size that matters babe!" • "I get a thimbleful of tequila into me and I turn into a wild man!" • "You'd look hot in a Raggedy Ann wig!" • "I can eat my weight in cocktail frankfurts!" • She: "What do you think of this dress/top/skirt?" He: "I like nothing better!" • Woman: "Excuse me, do you have the time?" Man: "Do you have the place in mind?" • When she asks for a match: "My penis, your vagina." • "Was you father an alien? Because there's nothing else like you on earth!" • "Sorry, I thought you were someone else, by the way, here's my card." • To a mother: "What is your favourite position on extramarital sex?" • "Your place or the mens bathroom?" • "I'm really sorry about Al. It was a lovely funeral. You look ravishing in black, did you know that? What you need now is a nice back rub. Are the straps too tight darling? How very, very tragic." • Follow these instructions: 1. Make sure that you are in front of the person you are trying to attract. 2. Put your hands in a vertical plane and seperate your hands to the desired distance. 3. Look at the person of your affections with a shit eating, ear to ear grin. Shake your head up and down as to reply that you're this big. • "Take an icecube to the bar, smash it and say: "Now that I've broken the ice, will you sleep with me?" • "I'm single!" • "Would you like to see my boa constrictor?" • "Would you like to come and party in my toolshed?" • To someone just out of the shower: "Can I borrow your towel?" • "I've got an itch. Lower. Lower." • "If you want me, don't wake me, or shake me, just take me." • "Hi, I'm a flight steward." • "May I please rest my head on your shoulder?" • Hold up a vibrator: "Do you know how to use one of these?" • "I'm not trying to pressure you, I don't want to have sex without mutual consent; Oh and by the way, you have my consent." • "I'm sure you didn't mean to turn me on with your big ass, but it's too late now!" • "Hi, I'm taking a survey. Do you spit or swallow?" • "I think I'm falling in love with you. Now do you want to fuck?" • "I haven't seen you in a while, you sure look different without my dick in your mouth." • "What are you drinking?" ("_______") "Wanna screw?" • "Yo. You'll do." • "I've never driven a cadillac, whats your name?"

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