A first grade teacher explains to her class that she
is a Boston Red Sox fan.She asks her students
to raise their hands if they were Red Sox fans too.
Not really knowing what a Red Sox fan was,but
wanting to be like their teacher,hands explode
into the air like fleshy fireworks.There is,
however,one exception.A girl named Lucy has not gone
along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she
has decided to be different. "Because I'm not a Red
Sox fan." "Then," asks the teacher, "what are you?"
"Why I'm proud to be a Yankees fan.", boasts the
little girl. The teacher is a little perturbed now,
her face slightly red. She asks Lucy why she is a
Yankees fan. "Well,My Dad and Mom are Yankees fans,
and I'm a Yankees fan, too!" The teacher is now
angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly.
"What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a
moron, What would you be then?" A pause, and a smile.
"Then," says Lucy, "I'd be a Red Sox fan."
Albert Einstein arrives at a party and introduces
himself to the first person he sees and asks,
"What is your IQ?"
The man answers, "241."
"That is wonderful!" says Albert. "We will talk about
the Grand Unification Theory and the mysteries
of the universe. We will have much to discuss!"
Next, Albert introduces himself to a woman and asks,
"What is your IQ?"
The lady answers, "144."
"That is great!", says Albert, "We can discuss politics
and current affairs.We will have much to discuss!".
Albert then goes to another person and asks,
"What is your IQ?"
The person answers, "51."
Albert ponders this for a moment, and then smiles and says,
"GO RED SOX"!!
Three fans are walking to Fenway Park for the
Red Sox-Yankees playoff series, when they see a
foot sticking out of some bushes. An inspection
revealed a dead-drunk naked woman. One man placed
his Orioles baseball cap on her right breast.
The Yankee fan placed his cap on her left breast,
and the Red Sox fan put his over her crotch.
They then called the police.
The cop lifted up the Orioles cap, and made a few
notes. He then lifted the Yankee cap and made
more notes. Then he lifted the Red Sox cap, put it
down, lifted it again and put it down. When he
lifted it the third time the Red Sox fan said,
''What are you doing? Are you some kind of pervert
or what?''The cop said, I was just confused,
usually when I see a Red Sox cap, there's an
asshole under it.''
Top Ten Signs You're Not Watching A Real Baseball Team
10.You recognize the batter as the kid who sold you
a hot dog a couple minutes
earlier.
9.Everytime a player slides into second, he busts his hip.
8.They keep shouting "Do over!"
7.When umpire yells, "Strike 3!" batter
looks at him as if the dude's speaking French.
6.Try as they might, they just can't scratch
themselves like professionals.
5.First base: Siskel. Second base: Ebert.
4.Game stops when some lady in a house near
the stadium shouts "Dinner time!"
3.Players constantly adjusting each other's cups.
2.You overheard the coach yelling, "Run, Forrest, Run!"
1.They play like the Red Sox
Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled
their latest stamps? They had pictures of Red Sox
players on them ...people couldn't figure out
which side to spit on.
Q:what does your average Red Sox fan get on an i.q. test
A: Drool
Q: How can you tell if a Red Sox fan has been
using your computer?
A: There is whiteout on your screen!
Q:What's the difference between a dead dog in the
road and a dead Red Sox fan in the road?
A:There are skid marks in front of the dog.
Q: What do Red Sox fans and sperm have in common?
A: One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming
a human being.
Q: What's the difference between a catfish and
a Red Sox player?
A: One's an ugly scum-sucking bottom feeder,
the other is a fish.
Q: How many Red Sox fans does it take to
screw in a lightbulb?
A: Ten, one to screw it in and nine to blame
Nomar for breaking the old one!!!
Q: What is the difference between a Fenway
Frank and a Yankee Frank?
A: You can get a Yankee Frank in October!
Q: What do the Red Sox and lawn furniture
have in common?
A: They both fold and end up in the cellar
after Labor Day!
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