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' 3 C O U N T ... 1 ... 2 ... 3 ! '
RP#1: T H E A R R I V A L
Last time we saw the 3 Count boys, they had roped Michael 'Shoelace' Cole into joining them at Justin Timberlake, in concert. As we return to the three, we see them in Cole's chevy, speeding down the motorway, windows down and music blaring. The cameraman crouched up in the back seat next to Cole is trying to film, as Helms and Moore sit singing along to the music from Cole's car radio.
'Shoelace' Michael Cole
Gu...guys? GUYS! Would you slow down a little?
'Sugar' Shane Helms
Slow down? 3 Count don't slow down Michael. We're always in the fastlane!
With that, the car swerves violently into the outside lane f the motorway, seemingly picking up speed rather than slowing down. Cole looks like he's about to throw up in the back, as the camera shot becomes more rocky.
'Shoelace' Michael Cole
Guys, are we nearly there yet.
'Sugar' Shane Helms
Michael...you sound like a six year old kid. We'll be there when we're there, ok? It shouldn't be that much further...but why are you even worried? The sun is out, the air is clear, the music's good. You should be enjoying the ride...would you rather be getting Stone Cold Stunnered back at the arena?
'Shoelace' Michael Cole
Well...I'm not quite sure anymore.
'Sweet' Shannon Moore
So, you wanted to interview us? Why not do it now, before we get there.
'Shoelace' Michael Cole
What? You want me to interview you guys at 80mph?
'Sugar' Shane Helms
80? Michael, we're going 110...
'Shoelace' Michael Cole
Oh...oh crap...ok, I need to take my mind off the fact I'm about to hurl back here. So...what's with your obsession with Justin Timberlake?
'Sweet' Shannon Moore
In what way?
'Shoelace' Michael Cole
Well...what's so special about him? You could be training for your match with the F.B.I right now, and you're off to his concert. This is a big match after all.
'Sweet' Shannon Moore
It's also a big concert. And anyway, I think we're prepared enough for the 'F.B.I'. It's not like we've anything to be afraid of...it's not like they're the real F.B.I, like the ones in the movies. With the guns, and badges and stuff. They're a couple of Mafia wannabee wrestlers.
'Shoelace' Michael Cole
Well, they would say you are pop star wannabee wrestlers...
'Sugar' Shane Helms
That's only because Italians only listen to opera music. But Michael, it's like Shannon said. The Full Blooded Italians are no match for the Federal Body of Investigation. If it was F.B.I versus F.B.I, we all know who'd win out. And we all know who's gonna win on Raw. I mean come on, you've got 3 Count. And you've got a couple of guys who've watched one too many episodes of the Sopranos, and suddenly think they're the bees knees. We're out to entertain but we're also out to win. Those Tag Team Titles are within our grasp finally, after all the times we were denied in the WCW.
'Sweet' Shannon Moore
And now finally in the IWA, we're getting our opportunity.
'Shoelace' Michael Cole
Well you guys seem pretty confident, but aren't you worried about the size difference between you two and Johnny Stamboli?
'Sugar' Shane Helms
No way. The dude's got...got...pasta for brains! He's a doofus. He's like your typical cartoon villain's cronie. All bulk and no brains. And you know what happens to the stupid cronie. The superhero kicks his ass.
'Shoelace' Michael Cole
Well, you were a superhero of course...
'Sugar' Shane Helms
Ah...ah ha...ix nay on the uperhero say.
'Shoelace' Michael Cole
Sorry. Well, you two have bee...
Cole is silenced by a loud bang, obviously from the car. The chevy slowly begins to stop, and rolls to a halt as Cole gets out and quickly tries to check for any signs of damage. In his horror, right under the 'No Fat Chicks on Board' bumper sticker 3 Count had places on the boot, there's a big gaping hole in the exhaust pipe. Both Shannon and Shane stand behind the horrifed Cole, arms folded and thoughtful looks on their faces.
'Sugar' Shane Helms
Man...that looks bad.
'Sweet' Shannon Moore
Pretty busted. Well, we need a plan. I say we walk.
'Shoelace' Michael Cole
Why don't we just call out a mechanic. I've got my phone with me, we'll be up and running in a few minutes...
'Sugar' Shane Helms
All those in favour of walking.
Both Shane and Shannon raise their hands, as Cole looks a little despondant.
'Shoelace' Michael Cole
Well, that's two to two.
'Sugar' Shane Helms
I don't think so dude. See, we're on camera right? There's only three guys on camera...this guy holding the camera isn't in shot, so his vote doesn't count. So that's two to one on walking, so we'd better get going. We've got another...40 miles or so.
'Shoelace' Michael Cole
Forty!?! Forty miles. This is crazy.
'Sweet' Shannon Moore
God job we left early, huh Shane? At least we should get there on time if we're quick. Hey, I've had an idea. How about we run? It'll get us warmed up for Raw, and we'll get there quicker.
'Shoelace' Michael Cole
I've got no need for either, so I'll just stay here shall I?
'Sweet' Shannon Moore
No need...just leave the car. here. I mean it's obviously a wreck...come on guys, we should be there in ten minutes if we keep a good pace.
Shannon and Shane start jogging off, singing to themselves as they do. Cole and the camera man follow on half heartedly, Cole muttering something about a 'stupid chevy'.
About an hour later, 3 Count have finally arrived to the arena holding the Justin Timberlake concert, looking worn out. They're nothing compared to Cole though, who is sweating profusely, literally dripping in sweat. Cole limps over to three count, who seem to have found a ticket scalper, judging by the fact he's wearing a black suit, black sunglasses and a suspicious looking moustache.
'Sugar' Shane Helms
What took you so long? We got here a half hour ago...look, no need to answer now. We've found a...'business man'...willing to seel you a ticket.
'Shoelace' Michael Cole
We...well...how...much?
'Sugar' Shane Helms
Oh...just...(under breath)threethousanddollars...
Cole's eyes open wide in shock, looking from Shane, to Shannon, to the scalper and back again.
'Shoelace' Michael Cole
Three thousand dollars!?! You have made me walk forty miles in the blazing heat, and now you expect me to pay three thousand dollars to get into a concert I didn't know about until a day ago.
'Sugar' Shane Helms
Well...yes? Plus, his price goes up by the half hour. So if you don't buy them now, you'll have to pay four thousand.
'Shoelace' Michael Cole
What!?! Why isn't he saying this...
'Sugar' Shane Helms
Speech impediment. Apparantly he's a little embarrassed about it...but it's supply and demand Michael.
'Sweet' Shannon Moore
We should know. This dude has bailed us into the last two shows. This time we actually have tickets, but it's still cool to see him. Best buds...
'Shoelace' Michael Cole
You're friends...with a ticket scalper?
Helms anxiously looks around, and whispers behind his hand...
'Sugar' Shane Helms
Ix nay on the calper say!
'Shoelace' Michael Cole
You realise that you could get...huge repercussions...you know you could get in trouble with the F.B.I...
'Sweet' Shannon Moore
Err...we already are.
'Sugar' Shane Helms
He means the police type F.B.I, not the dumb Italians. No offense Reggie.
'Sweet' Shannon Moore
Oh...this dude is Reggie. And he's Italian. Which makes sense, seeing as he's Italian and he's a criminal. No offense Reggie. But I guess...it's the Italian way. Cheating, stealing...taking advantage of every opportunity they get. Always seem to get away with the big prize.
'Sugar' Shane Helms
Guess we're lucky that the F.B.I aren't real Italians. Otherwise we'd be screwed. But, seeing as they're not. All their cheating an stealing, it won't work against two hard working, regular everyday American Joes...
'Sweet' Shannon Moore
That's right. The F.B.I, are a couple of frauds. And not the good type that help you get into Justin Timberlake concerts at surprisingly unextorcionate prices. But then again, it doesn't matter if they did or not. It's like the saying goes...
EVERYBODY GOES DOWN...FOR DA 3 COUNT ! ! !
'Sugar' Shane Helms
Now...about those tickets...
Cole sighs and reaches into his pocket, pulling out his wallet as Helms and Moore exchange a smiling high five. But with all this commotion surrounding the big J.T, can 3 Count become the IWA Tag Team Champions for the first time? Time will tell, on Raw the answers will be told!
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