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The Devil's Beatitudes

* Blessed are those who are too tired, too busy, too distracted to spend an hour once a week with their fellow Christians - they are my best workers.
* Blessed are those Christians who wait to be asked and expect to be thanked - I can use them.
* Blessed are the touchy, with a bit of luck they might stop going to church - They are my missionaries.
* Blessed are those who are very religious but get on everyone's nerves - They are mine forever.
* Blessed are the troublemakers - They shall be called my children.
* Blessed are those who have no time to pray - They are easy prey for me.
* Blessed are the gossipers - They are my secret agents and shall cause strive and divisions that please me.
* Blessed are those critical of the church leadership - They shall inherit a place with me in my fate.
* Blessed are those who are bored with the minister's mannerisms and mistakes - They get nothing out of his sermons.
* Blessed is the church member who expects to be invited to his own church - He is a part of the problem instead of the solution.
* Blessed are those who do not give their offering to carry on God's work - They are my helpers.
* Blessed is he who professes to love God but hates his brother and sister - He shall be mine forever.
* Blessed are the complainers - I hear them.
* Blessed are you when you read this and think it is about other people and not you - I've already got you.

 

These are drastically different from the Beatitudes outlined by Jesus in Matthew 5:3-12.  Be careful that you don't follow the Devil's pathway and try to stay on the straight and narrow.  Use the Devil's beatitudes as an outline of what not to do.  Look for these things in your life so you can change them and stop them from keeping you from having a pure relationship with God.



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