Fri Jun 18 11:17:29 CST 2004

"Most everything I've done I've copied from someone else." - Sam Walton

In all my coaching, one common theme is how few people regularly meet with a mentor. No one, however, disputes the value of investing time with one. Everyone can recall the times when they were with someone wise and inspiring, when they received a moment of insight which transformed the way they thought or acted.

The mistakes you are going to make have already been made. The learning you are going to have has already been learnt. The success you want to achieve has already been achieved. There is a reason that certain people have made these mistakes, acquired this learning and achieved this success. The reason is to qualify themselves to be your mentor!

So if our mentors are so invaluable, why do so few of us invest the miniscule amount of time necessary to meet them?

The biggest reasons I hear are the Passenger Reasons:

Too much doubt, fear and anxiety.

However, this is missing the point. You donot need to have any worries that potential mentors will reject you or see you as unworthy. This is a scenario that comes to mind when you imagine that getting a mentor means calling up Bill Gates or the Dalai Lama and being put on hold. For some reason many picture this as the way to go nmentor huntingo. It is not!

Fortunately, the universe has made it easy to gain the wisdom of YOUR mentors. You donot have to go find them. You simply have to let them come to you.

"Value attracts value."

So do you just wait? No. Thereos something you need to do and you can do it today. Every time I have seen someone follow this advice, it is incredible just how quickly their mentors appear. The more enthusiastic and committed you are in taking this action, the faster your mentors appear.

So what is the action? You need to get out there and BE a mentor to those who want you to be.

This isnot magic. Itos plumbing. It is advice on the same lines of nWhat you give is what you geto, but it is also the result of cause and effect. Think of a river that is dammed up. No water can escape. Water flowing from higher ground will find another way down the mountain. Open the dam, and water will begin to flow through the river. The more water that begins to flow out, the more that will begin to flow in.

Or take an example that I prefer here in Ireland: Light a fire to warm yourself, and you will be the only one around to maintain it. Light a fire to warm many others, and you will attract others. You will attract the gratitude of those who need fire, and you will attract the support of those who provide it.

To open your student within to receive, first open your teacher within by giving.

Sometimes Iove been asked

pI donot know enough to be a mentor yet. Canot I just go look for a mentor instead of being a mentor?q

Thatos like saying to a fireplace

pI havenot got any wood yet, give me fire first and then Ioll go get you woodq.

Knowledge flow begins the minute you start giving your knowledge - and capacity grows with application. As for nnot being readyo, if our parents had to wait to know enough to be a parent, we would all still be waiting to be born.

The truth is, you already know who would like your knowledge or advice - because they have already asked. Think about it for a moment. Who has approached you this year for advice or inspiration? Contact them and be generous. Buy them lunch. See how they are doing and how you can help. Give and give generously. It costs a flame nothing to light another flame.

Is that it then? Just give and give and then wait to receive? No, first make the giving a habit, because as you get going youoll be amazed at how much you already have to give. Then, secondly, open yourself to your mentors who are waiting for you to do so. And before you say you donot have any such mentors waiting in the wings, pause and reflectmThink about the people you respect, that you would LOVE to have more time with, who you have REJECTED in the last three months.

Really! What mentors do you already have around you that have been generous this year in giving you their time, their attention and their knowledge. List them down. Now think about whether any of them have rejected you. No?

We are often so proud, we think absorbing experience is the same as asking for help, so we donot do it. We are sometimes so busy being busy, we forget to ask. Ask and you shall receive!

Put your pride and being-too-busy aside. Step outside of your life and have a good look. Ask for a second opinion from your mentors who already care. You WILL be amazed. I am every time.

"Take your hands off the wheel. Give your guides and teachers permission to come closer. Say to the universe nFind me where you know I need to beo." - Gary Zukav

One comment, from one mentor, can transform the way you see the world.