Chapter 3

John told Fiona that Kris was sick and needed to go home. They were roommates and close friends, about the only close friend that Kris seemed to have. And even though Kristina had stopped vomiting her hands and knees were still shaking beyond her control.

The noises around her were incoherent and the tears that she desperately needed to release blurred her vision. It had been a long time since she had cried and she knew that it was time for a release. She couldn’t believe that ‘D’ was coming into town in two days and that she would be so close to him. Even though her heart ached to see him, to touch him, to explain, she just didn’t feel ready to re-live the past year and a half only to have him walk away from her in the end.

She couldn’t and wouldn’t be able to survive that too. The sun had helped her scars fade tremendously but she was still self-conscious about them. She didn’t feel as if she would ever feel as secure with her looks as she had been when they were together and he deserved someone beautiful. She was so caught up in her thoughts that she hadn’t realized Fiona was talking to her.

"Kris...are you okay, honey?" she asked.

Kris looked up to see Fiona’s worried face staring back at her, the words not yet registering clearly. She and Fiona had become quick friends from the moment they met. They had a lot in common musically and personality wise, not to mention the fact that Fiona had needed a roommate and Kristina had needed a place to stay. It worked out great and they had become close enough for Kristina to share some of her past with Fiona. Kristina trusted her not to say anything to anyone about what she had been through. The one thing that Fiona didn’t know was the man that Kristina loved so much was someone as famous and it was Howie Dorough.

"Huh?" she asked, still in shock at all that she was feeling.

"John says that you must have a stomach bug or something and he wants me to take you home. Can you stand?"

"Yeah, I think so," Kristina said as Fiona took her hands.

"Okay, sweetie, let’s get you home then."

Fi helped her into the jeep and they drove home in silence, except from the occasional sob that managed to escape Kristina’s throat. She closed her eyes, taking comfort in the wind whipping through her hair, the silent tears continuing to bathe her face. Kristina was lost in thought, remembering the last night she and ‘D’ had spent together and how he confessed that he had fallen in love with her. It was as if it were only yesterday and yet at the same time a lifetime ago.

It was October of 2000 and the first snow of the season had begun to fall in Colorado. Howie and Kristina were going to go skiing for the weekend and it was to be Kristina’s first time on the slopes. On their first day at the lodge, they went shopping and bought everything she would need. Afterwards they sat in the hot tub sipping wine as the snow fell around them. It was incredibly romantic and they were lost in each other, oblivious to the world around them. Suddenly Kristina’s cell phone rang. Howie begged her not to answer it, but she knew that if someone was calling that it had to be important. Only a few people had her cell phone number and they knew not to call unless it was an emergency. It was her best friend Sarah from college letting her know that ‘Stephen’ had threatened to kill her family if she did not return immediately. Hanging up the phone, she snuggled into his arms, knowing what had to be done. Instead of going skiing that afternoon, she suggested they stay in the room and make love.

The two of them made love all afternoon and most of the night, stopping only to have dinner by candlelight. Just before they fell asleep, exhausted and content, he wrapped his arms around her lovingly. Pulling her close to him, he kissed her neck and whispered into her ear.

"I’ve fallen head over heels in love with you, Kristina. I don’t ever want us to be apart."

Fiona pulled into the garage and turned the jeep’s engine off, snapping Kristina back to reality. She laid her hand on Kristina’s and spoke softly.

"Wanna tell me what’s really going on with you?"

Kristina stared at her blankly. She wanted to tell her what had upset her so badly but she couldn’t bring herself to utter the words. She needed sleep to gather herself and regroup her thoughts.

"Maybe tomorrow, Fi. I just want to go to bed right now. Okay?"

Fiona smiled at her and nodded her head as they got out of the jeep and walked into the beach house.

Chapter 4        Index