In my home town of Edinburgh a smoker was fined £25 for throwing a cigarette end on the ground. What The FUCK is up with that?
Is our country so concerned about the heath of our nation that it’s now trying to stop us from smoking by making sure we can’t afford it?
After all, taxing us up to the hilt hasn’t worked, neither has banning tobacco advertisements on the TV, so is this their new flanking manoeuvre in the war against smoking?
Maybe it’s just another way to prevent global pollution?
just think of all that nasty stuff that we smokers belch into the atmosphere, all those nasty chemicals that we spew forth whenever we light one up.
We are nasty, dangerous people to associate with you know us smokers, We cough all the time, We smell like ashtrays, We have bad breath, We are prone to cancer, We are at greater risk of heart attacks, Strokes, Aneurysms and brain explosions, Our arterial passages are dangerously constricted, We can’t run worth shit, We wheeze like asthmatic warthogs when we sleep, We have brown stained fingers, Our homes have a permanent cloud base to rival Everest and we hack up disgusting balls of phlegm at the most inappropriate times.
Oh yeah... And we also pay more towards the health service than those health and fitness freaks that have somehow convinced themselves, That by eating well, not drinking alcohol and jogging regularly, That they’ll live forever.
What i’d like to know is why are we smokers being pursued and hunted down like a rabid dog when there are huge global conglomerates pumping more pollution into the atmosphere in a day than any of us smokers will manage in a lifetime?
Oh yeah, i remember now, it’s ’cos they make money for the government.
Who, by the way, are linked with those same companies and conglomerates.
And what exactly will the fines be used for? bins or ashtrays to put our cigarette ends into?
Don't be fucking stupid.
The money will be spent in the same way as all the speeding fines that are generated by those lovely Gatso cameras, it will be used to hire ever more uniformed eunuchs who’s soul pleasure is to make us feel like a second class citizen because we have exercised our right to freedom of choice.

Cough up in more ways than one friends...