They approach a desk set in the middle of the office.
A young man is sitting at the desk with a blue blazer on. It has Scottish tourist board stitched onto the pocket. A badge on his lapel says “here to help you”

American man; hey buddy do you work here.

Assistant; yes sir, how may I be of assistance to you.

American man; I gotta few questions for ya.

Asst; that's what I'm here for sir.

American man; well son, I was at edinborow castle today and I was wondering, the piece of land over the water. Is that France?

Asst; no sir that's the kingdom of fife.

American man; I aint never heard of that country before. Who’s the king?

Asst; it doesn't have a king sir.

American Woman; young man, can I ask who decided it would be such a good idea to put the castle so near the railway station?

Asst; the castle has been there for centuries madam.

American woman; you mean it doesn't get taken down and stored in the wintertime?

Asst. no madam. It’s a permanent feature in Edinburgh.

American man; we were thinking about going up to the highlands tomorrow and we were wondering, what time do they close at?

Asst; they don't close sir.

American man; wow, you mean they are open twenty-four hours?

Asst. yes sir.

American man; we were considering going to London, would you recommend it?

Asst. to you sir. Yes. Would you like me to call you a cab?

Back to Comedy Sketches

Back to Front page