Well then. Where to begin?
I have an idea that I have somehow evolved past being a normal human and am now wondering which government department I should get in touch with to have my birth certificate adjusted.
I mean, I can’t possibly be a male of the species as I do not think with my dick.
As an example of that statement allow me to let you in on a little part of my life.
I met a woman who makes me feel so comfortable with myself that I lost all my irrational fears and neuroses and I for once realised that the world may just be a nice place to be.
But I had a rival in the winning-of-her-heart-stakes.
I was sitting beside the woman of my affections when I noticed that the guy on the other side of her was coming onto her. A guy who I know has a wife and two kids and is, supposedly, happily married.
I leaned over and said to him “How’s the wife?” in order to make it known to this woman that he is a rat bastard that couldn’t be trusted as far as he could be thrown.
I stood up and went to the bar for a drink. He followed me and stopped to whisper into my ear “You’re a bastard Ross, i had a chance at getting a ride out of her...”
“I may be a bastard, but at least I’m not trying to cheat on my wife.” I said, with a plain look of distaste in my eyes. “And if i’m a bastard for thinking that you shouldn’t be attempting to find a hole to fuck then feel free to have bastard tattooed on my forehead. Maybe you could have two faced fuckwit tattooed onto yours. AND if it’s a hole you want then go fuck a knothole in a tree. at least then you’ll be humping something with the same level of intelligence as you.”
Judging by the look on his face he wasn’t best pleased but he’s one step above pond scum anyway so I have no worries on my part as to what he thinks of me.
Why is it that the majority of men are ruled by the little head rather than the big one? It surely can’t be a genetic trait can it?
Am I alone in having morals? I really hope I aint. It would be a sad and depressing day in the history of humanity.