Radio KKK


Set. A radio booth. A DJ in a white hood and robe is sitting behind a mixing desk, two turntables are seen, one has KKK on the slipmat. The other has a white vinyl record playing on it.
The dj fades down the record & pushes a button on a tape machine.

Sound effect; a cheesy jingle “radio KKK”

DJ: (southern accent) “and the next caller is Betty from Waynesboro, Hi Betty and how are you on this fine sunny mornin’”

Caller (betty. also southern): “Why, I am just fine. Thank you very much fo’ askin’”

DJ: “and for what do we owe the pleasure of hearing you’re fine, white, southern voice”

Betty; “well, the reason I am callin’ y’all today is I have a tip for all your wonderful white listeners out there”

DJ: “well betty here on radio KKK (he pushes tape button again. cheesy sound effect “radio KKK”) we are always happy to pass information on, well exceptin’ when it’s the po-leece askin’ or anyone that aint white”

Betty: “I used to have problems getting my sheets to come up real white until I discovered that my husband always soak’s his robes in a mixture of water and moonshine, he says it’s the only thing hillbilly's ever done that’s worth anything, and that they’re just as bad as the niggers, so I tried it on my sheets and what do you know? They came out so white that you could use them as a wedding dress.”

DJ: “well Betty, thank you for your call. I'm sure our listeners are very grateful for that. You be sure to call us if you have any other handy tips for all our glorious white listeners out there”

Betty: “why I surely will”

The DJ pushes the tape button. “radio KKK”

DJ: "and that i’m afraid is all I have time for on radio KKK “radioKKK” as in just a small moment we will be handing over to judie for womans hour now on radio KKK."

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