Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to infiltrate and overcome the infidels who insist that tuna fish and banana are a valid topping for pizzas.

Call me crazy, call me insane but isn’t a bit off that the normal people of Iraq are starving, thanks to the coalition troops having dropped tons of highly explosive ordinance onto their country, and our troops are now able to chow down on freshly made pizza’s and piping hot beef burgers? That’s right folks, the corporate takeover has begun. Iraq now has its very own franchise of burger king and pizza hut.

“No way” I hear you say. Well you're wrong john. Just ask the British and American army and they’ll tell you that they have given permission for both of these huge global fast-food chains to open a restaurant inside their base in Basra.>P> The restaurants are to be run by current franchise holders from nearby Kuwait and a percentage of the profits will go to a charitable cause.

** I did try to find out what the charitable cause was but after calling The Whitehouse 001 202 456 1414, The Pentagon 001 703 697 5131 The US central command 001 813 827 5895 and Number 10’s press office 0870 590 0200 and having no luck I gave up. give them a call and see how far you get.**

A spokesman for the two restaurants, Atef Bassent, said: "I hope we will do good business here."
Sadly no one from the overthrown Iraqi government was able to comment but if you’re lucky enough to find Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf the Iraqi information minister he’d say that it was all lies and that the topping’s are not of a high quality and the prices are too high...