The body snatchers. Part Two.


The warehouse is brimming with scientific equipment. Jars of multicoloured liquid froth and bubble on long wooden benches, long electrical circuits crack and fizzle and occasionally there are huge sparks coming from the centre of the room. “Looks like the doc’s playing god again” said manual, as the two men walked toward the direction of the sparks.
They approach a figure standing hunched over a workbench.
There is a sheet-covered corpse on the bench.
“Ahem” coughed Tink, trying to catch the figure’s attention.
The figure turns around and gives them a broad smile.
“Ello Boy’s”
“Hello Madame freekey...” says tink
“Gibber blubber” stutters Manual.
(The reason that Manual always talked total gibberish to Madame freekey was that he was unable to talk to beautiful women, and believe me Madame freekey was beautiful. She was so beautiful that artist’s all over the world came to ask her to sit for them, but when she did none of them felt that they were good enough to paint someone so lovely. She had been responsible for so many artists’ throwing out their lifetime’s work that she was ordered by law to stop offering to sit for artists.)
She was a one-woman unemployment maker and heart breaker.
“Could you put the axe down Madame freekey, it gives me shivers” says Tink.
“I am so sorry to frighten you” says Madame freekey in a girly French accent “I was having such a terrible time trying to open this corpse’s cranium” she turns around and thump's the axe into the corpses forehead “would you look at that, I've been trying for almost twenty minutes to get the top of his skull off and all it needed was one good swing”
“Well Mme freekey, we have another corpse here if you’re interested” says tink, his eyes glued to the axe that is shaking gently from the force of the blow.
“I saw it fly through the delivery chute at quite a speed, you really should think about an anger management course Mr bell” She saw that Tink shuddered when she called him that. “It really does seem to be out of control at times”.
“It’s don’t need an anger management course, it’s a manual labour management Manual I need ” he noticed that Manual shuddered when he called him that. “Do you want the stiff then Ms freekey?”.
Mme freekey shuddered at being called Ms “you can never have to many dead body's lying around, as my uncle likes to say” she said.
“Given that he’s the town undertaker I’d have thought that was more of a work ethic” says Tink, in an acidic tone.
“You could have sold him that coffin if you hadn’t thrown it through the door with such vigour” says Mme freekey.
“It was broken before I threw it. Manual banged his head on it a few times” says tink “accidentally, of course”.
“And how did you manage that Mr labour” she says turning towards Manual.
“Gilbert twoodlepicky Shabbat” says Manual with a glazed look in his eye.
“Never mind” says Mme freekey turning back towards the corpse on the table “you may go now”.
“You don’t have to tell us twice” says Tink turning and walking toward the door.
Madame freekey glances over her shoulder and jumps in shock. Manual apparently did have to be told twice. Tink reappears and leads him away.

*Back in the ice cream van.*

“I hate it when she calls me Mr bell” said Tink, not doing a very good job of hiding his disgust at being called by his birth name “I'm sure she does it on purpose”
“Does what on purpose?” Asks Manual, still in a trance from seeing Mme freekey.
“Call's me Mr bell, she knows I hate being called that”.
Tink was never keen on being called by his given name. Everyone called him by his nickname.
Tink was christened Robert by his parents, Mr and Mrs Bell, But had been known as tink by all of the other kids at the orphanage, he liked the sound of it. He thought it was a cool nickname, he thought it meant that he was a lovable rogue. He never found out it was a word that people used to describe someone who worked at a fairground, and was the general term for someone who would steal the sugar out of your cup of tea without you noticing it was gone.
Only one person had ever made the mistake of saying “there goes that tink, R bell”. That person let everyone know that it was not a good idea to call a very bitter dwarf Tink r bell. Not, as you would expect, by word of mouth. But by being taken home in an ambulance and not being able to walk without a limp.
“Lets get some sleep Manual, we've got ice cream to sell tomorrow” he glances at his watch “well when I say tomorrow I mean in about five hours”.

Part Three

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