And once again I get myself stuck between a rock and a hard place. The rock being the person I like a lot and the hard place being the age difference. I just don't get it, I mean should age just be a number if you're happy being with the person? I think so. Here, I'll brefely explain why I'm stuck in the place in my mind.
Last night I went bowling with a few of my friends from drum corps. well except for one, but he's a wanna-be...lol. anyway. we were having a blast bowling and just being who we are. Untill me and the guy who's a wanna-be drum coprs person (I'll call him Rock) started to flurt...a lot! The other two kept asking me if I liked him and I would refuse to answer instead I would talk to Mike and Steve (the two guys that were next to us in the bowling ally who I sat next when i had no defence against the tickleing). Well anyway so this 'Rock' was sitting on my left and one of the other guys was to my right. 'Rock' was leaning foward and kind of close to me. So I snapped my head around towards him and just staired at him...you know like you do when you basically nose to nose with someone. Anyway, out of no where 'Rock' kisses me. Not on the forhead like he usually does, or on the check when he gives me a hug, but yes u guessed it on the lips. It was nice, very nice, but it cought me off guard so it was a little weird. Of course the kid who was sitting to my right had to tell the other guy that we kissed. WHATEVER!! I didn't think anything of it...whom I trying to fool, I thought a lot about it while bowling. Well anyway me being a college kid and burning the candel at both ends (as my mom says) with school and cabs, I started to become weary around 10:30. So any chance I got, I would put my head back and close my eyes. Well 'Rock' would sit next to me and put his arm around me. I would, of course, lean in and put my head on his sholder and my hand on his knee. He would hold my hand and all was good. He went for me on my last few frames, but then he would come back. Well, during the last few frames the kid who yelled out that we kissed the first time had to go to the bathroom. The other kid was going and 'Rock' was holding me. I happened to look up at him and we kissed a few more times. The guy bowling saw but I didn't care, and obviouly 'Rock' didn't eaither. It was a werid feeling something I haven't gotten in a long time. It was like I was sitting there and then we leaned in to kiss, it was like this giant time warp happened and everything around us just disappered and it was the just the two of us sitting on the bench. Of course when we stopped I got this rush of going back to reality, and I saw the kid bowling looking at us. So the guy who was at the bathroom came back and 'Rock' went to go bowl. The bathroom guy and the bowling guy both jerk their heads in my direction and I felt like a deer in headlights. "What?!?!" I reply with a big big big smile. The bowling guy turns away and the bathroom guy asks "So is he a good kisser." Yeah he's a good kisser, I wanted to say but instead of replying to the question I thought for a moment and wittly-replyed "Why do you want to know? Oh my god! you are gay!!" we all laughed, and got our shoes together to leave. While standing on line to pay 'Rock' put his arm around me and held me so tight if I tried to move it wouldn't happen...not like I would try to move, but still. So anyway I drive the guys home and when I get to 'Rocks' house, I got stuck in his driveway, however I got out after we chilled (**wink wink maggie**) for a bit.
I got home around 12:30 and told my mom the next day that I had a good excuse to why I was late. I pulled this whole simi bullshit excuse about my lights and she believed it. it's simi 'cause one of my fog lights got busted up and is hanging off by the wires so I nigger rigged it and taped it back to my bumpper...lmao!!
So yeah that was last night....but you know what I just realized (sorry this is like oober off topic to what I was just saying) but I am hating being nice and give anyone who calls or asks for me to give them a ride anywhere...well no I shouldn't say that, i mean I'm going to the same place but i just feel like i'm the one to call when the person needs a taxi. UG!
So back onto topic. I am kind of lost on what to do, I mean I really really really really like this guys...'Rock'...but he's 16. AH! what do I do? I could just go with my heart (which I normally do) and still like him regardless the age 'cause it's just a number....or I can totally both these feelings that make me so happy away. *sigh*