Reality enters my room in thin silver beams passing through the invisible bars that shield my window
Not enough for me to open my eyes, but enough for me to sense the existence of love... or maybe just sanity
The number of minor chords strummed from the anthems that I unleash into the night change the face of the moon from yellow to silver 
And from silver to gray
The little hand on the clock points at Kennedy, but I don't know if the other hand will ever make it around
It's caught between the summer sky and the pages of my eulogy
And I yearn to be drowned in a sea of faceless black, only to escape the vibrant rainbow on either side of her colored capsules
I don't know where it will end
This cycle that beckons to be fed from pieces of my morality
The shadows on the wall spell the names of dead heroes, lost friends, old loves or ones that never existed
But the words melt into shapes burrowing from my eyelids down to the pit of my stomach, and I remember why I fell in love with her.
She always seemed to make the nervous go away and I can still feel her kiss the back of my neck every time that I swallow
The clock still points at Kennedy and the shadows still taunt me
Taunt me taunt me
With colorless shapes of infants in test tubes reminding me of this purgatory I've painted onto the face of innocence
Like blurred vision reading pages of the old testament just out of focus
I remember her blowing me kisses outside with the smell of summer still thick in my lungs
But that was before we all seemed to wake up
And the last time I remember touching her, she just looked up at me with those
Swollen tortured eyes and whispered
Murdermeplease
Murdermeplease
The words rolling off her tongue like they had been there since the day she was born and had just now found their way free

I haven't touched her since