Blonde Jokes

• There was a blonde driving down the road one day. She glanced to her right and noticed another blonde sitting in a nearby field. She was in a boat rowing, with no water in sight. The blonde angrily pulled her car over and yelled at the rowing blonde, “What do you think you're doing? It's things like this that give us blondes a bad name. If I could swim, I'd come out there and kick your butt!”
• One day two blondes walk into a perfume shop. The one blonde picks up a bottle of perfume that is titled
• How can you tell a blonde's been in your fridge?There is lipstick on the cucumber.
• What do you call a blonde with half a brain? Gifted
• Why was the blonde mad when she got her drivers license back? Because she got an ''F'' in Sex.
• A blonde, a Brunette, and a Redhead were in an elevator. The brunette looks around, and she notices a stain. She says
• One day three women went camping - a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. The blonde suddenly had to go to the bathroom. She went into the woods with her toilet paper and did her business. While she was gone, the brunette and the redhead decided to play a joke on her. They skinned a rabbit and snuck up on the blonde, put the guts behind her and ran back to the campsite. Three minutes later they heard a scream. Then they waited another half an hour and the blonde came back, sweating. She said,
• Two blondes were going to Disneyland when they came to a fork in the road. The sign read:
• Why doesn't a blonde talk during sex? Her mother told her never to talk to strangers
• What did the father say to his blonde daughter? ''If you're not in bed by 11, come home.''
• What is a blonde's idea of safe sex? Locking the car door.
• A young man is at a bus stop in New York. He sees an extremely beautiful blonde in a tight mini-skirt, and decides to get on the bus directly behind her. As the bus pulls up, she begins to board the bus, but cannot make the first step with her mini zipped. She reaches behind her and undoes the zipper. Then she attempts to board the bus, and once again she fails in her attempt. She reaches behind her once more and undoes the same zipper. She tries again to board the bus, and again she fails in her attempts. The young man finally decides just to lift her into the bus. When he lifts her she yells, “Don't get fresh with me!” The young man just looks at her and says, “Lady you've just undone my zipper twice, and now you say that I'm getting fresh with you!”
• Every day two blonde women would come out of work together and look for their car. But all the cars in the lot looked the same, so they sat around until all the cars were gone and then they would get in the last car and go home. One blonde said to the other, ''We need to find a faster way to get home.'' So the next day they went to work on a camel. After work they came out and the parking lot was full of camels. So the first blonde went around lifting up the tails of all the camels. The second blonde said, ''What are you doing?'' The first blonde said, ''When we came in today I heard someone yell
• A blonde walked into a gas station and said to the manager, ''I locked my keys in my car. Do you have a coat hanger or something I can stick through the window to unlock the door?'' ''Why sure,'' said the manager, ''we have something that works especially well for that.'' A couple minutes later, the manager walked outside to see how the blonde was doing and he heard another voice. ''No, no! A little to the left,'' said the other blonde inside the car.
• A blonde and a guy were out on a date and they ended up at ''Lovers' Cove'' where they were making out. The guy thought that things were going pretty good and maybe he would get lucky tonight, so he thought that he would ask her if she wanted to go in the back seat. ''NO!'' yelled the blonde. The guy just figured that she wasn't ready yet. Things got pretty hot and the guy thought he would try again. ''NO!'' the blonde yelled again. Things got even hotter and the blond was down to her bra and the guy even had her pants unzipped. ''Do you wanna go in the back seat yet?'' asked the guy. ''For the last time, NO!'' said the blonde. Frustrated, the guy asked, ''Well, why the hell not?'' The blonde looked at him and said, ''Because I wanna stay up here with you.''
• What do a blonde and a taxi have in common? Everyone's been in and out for $2.00.
• Two blondes were shopping at the mall. When they were done, they went out to their car, which happened to be an awesome leather-interior convertible, but they realized they had locked the keys in the car. So they both kind of stood there and thought for a while. Then one of the girls had the bright idea to try to open the car with a coat hanger, so she started fiddling with the lock. The other blonde looked up at the sky, became very worried, and pleaded,
• A blonde, brunette and a redhead had a breaststroke swimming race across the English Channel. The brunette came in first, the redhead came in second and the blonde never finished. When the blonde got in the lifeboat she said, ''I don't want to be a tattletale or anything, but the other two used their arms.''

• One day this cop pulls over a blonde for speeding. The cop gets out of his car and asks the blonde for her license. The blonde said,
• One day a blonde finds out from her friend that her boyfriend is cheating on her. So one day she goes out to the mall and buys a gun. After that she goes to her boyfriend's house. She busts down the door and points the gun at her head.
• Why do blondes go to Sears? Because the boys pants were half off!
• A blonde walks into a drugstore and purchases a pack of condoms. ''That will be $1.08, please'' says the clerk. The blonde says,
• A blonde came home from school one day and said to her mom, ''I can count higher then all the kids in my second grade class, do you think it is because I am a blonde?'' Her mother replied, ''Of couse it is, dear.'' The next day, the blonde said, ''I can say the alphabet higher then anyone in my class, do you think it is because I am a blonde?'' Her mother replied, ''Of course it is dear!'' The next day the blonde came home from her gymnastics and asked her mother, ''I have a larger chest then all the kids in my class, do you think its because I am a blonde?'' Her mother replied, ''No dear, I think it is because you are eighteen years old.