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Shit Face Island
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I'm sure you've heard of this place. It has figured prominently in numerous cinematic features by Toho studios. But in those films it is always portrayed as a desolate island, overrun by monsters. I must admit, when my pal Shu told me that Monster Island was more than just a fictional land populated by men in ill-fitting rubber costumes, I was in disbelief. He sent me some literature on the accommodations there and I was convinced.

Safety

Although Monster Island is a real place, the proprietors do not want the location to become too well known, fearing that would then be overrun by the greatest monster of all: penguins. So my trip there was planned in secret and I had to remain blindfolded during my flight. But it was all worth it, Monster Island was the best vacation I've ever had. Being able to walk up to a 20 foot high penguin was just about the coolest thing in the world. I thought the giant ape and other "Penguins" on the island would be in cages, or inaccessible, but tare quite friendly and accessible.