Poison Ivy

Welcome to the Home of "Sexy" Steven Silver

Also, his lovely Valet......Poison Ivy

(just strolling around backstage after the latest turmoil, “Sexy” Steven Silver is found headed towards the parking garage….. GWL Reporter Carl Crapper gets his attention, and yes boys & girls, he’s armed with a microphone)

Carl /// Steven… hey Steve, you got a minute?

$teven --- (appears kind of annoyed) The “Crapper”…. I should have known. You following me around numb nuts? And it’s Steven bud, not Steve. Don’t forget it….

Carl /// No Sir… Mr. Diamond saw you in the crowd watching, and he sent me over to feel you out….

$teven --- Easy there dude, You aint feeling nothing on me….

Carl /// That’s not what I meant…

$teven --- I know dumbass…. Just messing with you. So he wants to know what I saw out there tonight. For Real? Let me ask you “Crap-head”… What do you call that display?

Carl /// Tonight was a good ol’ fashioned, GWL Turmoil… Pretty awesome huh?

$teven --- You think???? You saw a high dollar event…. With lots of Pyro and Techno… And you saw some super skilled wrestling… didn’t you bub?

Carl /// Yeah…

$teven --- Then you were watching a whole different show than I was …. You saw wrestling…. I saw ballroom dancing… That’s tidally winks man…. checkers… pathetic. And the pyro and music? You guys should have been playing circus music instead… I thought I was at the big top watching the clowns out there…. And “Bigmouth Bass” was the Ringleader… I’m not going to say they were all that bad. But I can definitely understand why Duke signed me and Ivy when he did….

Carl /// Why is that?

$teven --- Isn’t it that obvious? To boost the ratings of course… Even the Pope knows you’re going to need a “Silver” lining after churning out a card like that one. (he throws his popcorn down on the ground) I think I’ve lost my lunch just thinking about it….

Carl /// (he looks around) By the way Steven…. Where is Ivy this fine evening?

$teven --- Ahhhh…. I can tell by the sound of your geeky voice… You got the hots for my lady bro…. C’mon you Steve Earkel wannabe…. Spit it out…

Carl /// (still looking around… he’s turning red blushing) Yes… uh… uh… She is a very attractive girl.

$teven --- (he pinches Carl’s cheek, kinda like your long lost Aunt would) You bet your sweet ass she’s a knockout boy. I bet after that first interview we gave you in Las Vegas… you and that zit faced cameraman hid in the bathroom and puched those lil’ chubbies… Don’t be ashamed of it “Crap-daddy”…. I’m sure all those Tivo watching people out there will make me increase the amount of Kleenex stock I buy next week.

Carl /// Where is she?

$teven --- Let me explain this so the censor buttons don’t go Howard Stern crazy on my tail…. Facts of life here… Every 28 days the female species goes through this…. Well you know…

Carl /// Okay my friend, we got it….

$teven --- So she stayed home tonight…. It’s just as well… You got 3 freaks in the back that would be following her scent around all night if she was here. You call them “The Damned”… Nightshade, Crow, and the big guy….. What’s his name?

Carl /// You mean Acid Stone?

$teven --- Assssssssssssssssss-syd Stone. Yeah the big dumb retard… So what do you think those 3 idiots doing right about now? Probably sacrificing a dead hamster to appease the wrestling gods or something.

Carl /// You trying to start something with the whole stable or what?

$teven --- Stable… What are they horses?

Carl /// What a stable is….. (Steven cuts him off)

$teven --- (his tone changing) I know what a “stable” is, you dork! It’s a place to hide when you know you can’t survive on your own. I’ve ran with a good crew in the past…. Sure we watched each other’s backs… BUT some of these “gangs” take it a bit too far. The “Damned”??? In the stable game, you might as well rename them the “Glue Factory”…. Because I don’t see many wins…. And I surely don't see any golden straps around their waist either. Trust me, compared to this Clydesdale, all three of them are just every an every run of the mill Pony. Looks like only two stables hold all the damn title belts anyhow. That brings me to something else I wanted talk about….

Carl /// Sure what do want to know?

$teven --- This title belt scene…. How many do you see running around this freaking place? Do they hand them out at the concession stand or what? It seems like everyone I saw walking down that ramp tonight had one around their gut. Don’t you think that’s a bit much? Saw as many title straps as gold chains around that “pencilneck” “T’s” inflated, overconfident, melonhead.

Carl /// Your entitled to your opinion, I guess…

$teven --- F*ck you smartass… Don’t hit me with that “opinions are like assholes” speal… (he turns and begins to walk away in disgust)

Carl /// Wait a minute….wait a minute….. Steve? I mean Steven…. Hey come back.

$teven --- WHAT? Dude come on… I got some stuff to do….

Carl /// It seems like the lady wrestlers took some offense to the comments that you wouldn’t even consider a match with them in your initial promo. Would you like to retract those comments?

$teven --- Hell no Peckerhead…. I mean what I said…. I don’t get off on hitting a chick. If GWL wants to get about 10 babes in here…. Break out the jello or mud pit and let them have a ball…. Hell I’d play special guest referee on that one…. I’d even lick the gelatin off of that Aimz doll…. (makes his hand like a chef tasting his food) Yummmmmy… But seriously man… If they want to play Berserko Barbie… then they can play with someone else…. (he begins to chuckle)

Carl /// I don’t know if that will smooth it over with the GWL Femme movement…. What’s so funny?

$teven --- The Barbie thing…. Berserko Barbie --- Killer Ken…. Speaking of big pussies. You guys think he’s all that…. Hell he’s got the GWL announcers up his ass that’s for sure. Image pretty boy with his front teeth missing…. One match with me and I’ll turn him from self-absorbed-Canadian to trailer-trash Arkansas in one night…. I’m looking forward to taking out one of your paper champions.

Carl /// (thumbing through his paperwork) Hmmmmm….

$teven --- What are you looking for “Meat”?

Carl /// I was looking at next weeks card…. I can’t find your name on the list…..

$teven --- Imagine that? Doesn’t surprise me…… But don’t worry sweetheart…. I’m sure the dance card will be full soon enough… Let me make you a promise right now……

Carl /// Shoot….

$teven --- (points to the camera) Weather they put me on next weeks card or not…. I want you and the rest of America to keep your eyes on the “Silver Screen”…. Because I’m going to guarantee that next week’s Turmoil…. (he pulls out a pair of shades, and puts them on, and just walks away)

Carl /// (seems excited and curious) What??? Guarantee??? Huh????

$teven --- (he turns around with that classic smirk that both he and his dad has) You’ll see!!!!!!!!! (and in his best Jack Nicholson voice from playing Joker in the movie Batman) “WAIT UNTIL THEY GET A LOAD OF ME”….

(he walks up the car ramp and is soon out of sight, this interview is over)