Poison Ivy

Welcome to the Home of "Sexy" Steven Silver

Also, his lovely Valet......Poison Ivy

(still in Canada, “Sexy” Steven Silver and Poison Ivy are sitting out by a lake, just taking in some sun watching everything from ducks to boats going by…. They sit with their arms around each other… GWL’s own Meadow Muffin greets these two for the first time since Steven has arrived, almost a month ago if you can believe that… She is nice enough to ask for an interview…. The couple accepts)

Meadow /// It’s nice to finally get a chance to meet you two…. Look like you have finally found what you were looking for Kid Silver…

$teven --- Kid? Who are you kidding? I’ll whip this out and show you the difference between (Ivy quickly cuts him off)… Okay… first of all Muffy, the name is Steven Silver… but for the rest of the interview you can call me the “Sexy One”… Remember Toots, I’m trying to get out of my Pops shadow…. And being called Kid Silver isn’t going to help with that…. Capishe?

Meadow /// I’m sorry…. That’s not totally my fault… Mr. Diamond told me to specifically say that to you to get your reaction…

$teven --- He did huh? You know that dude is a real scumbag… You know that?

Meadow /// I can’t say anything about that on the air… My job!

$teven --- Okay… you can’t… But I sure in the hell will… hand me the microphone…

(Meadow does so, and quickly gets out of camera sight)

$teven --- Well, well, well…. Another Turmoil, another screw job by Duke Diamond… Let me get one thing straight boss…. I think we need to have ourselves a little face-to-face time so we can iron out the problems we seem to be having with each other. I think I’ll be bringing the giant-sized Q-Tip so you can clean your damn ears out and listen to what I am saying for once. Maybe I haven’t been here long enough to have the “stroke” it takes to get what I want…. But your NEW GWL Turmoil Champion is surrounding himself with people that just might make things turn the corner if you catch my drift. Homes, Virus, Killer Ken, the immortal Mick Lehr…. The New Anarchy ’99 Lives… C’mon people… wake up and see the writing on the walls… The hottest thing going since sliced bread…. Title holders, ass kickers, the whole freaking sha-bang…. We know how to get things done…. OUR WAY!

Meadow /// (as she comes back into camera range) But I thought you and Killer Ken hated each other…. You talked stuff about him since you got here….

$teven --- And?????????????

Meadow /// And “What”?

$teven --- You fell for it, didn’t you sweetie? He never responded back to me…. We never got a sanctioned match…. Both me and Homes got together and decided it was best for me and Ken to break bread, and not arms for once. It’s all good in Anarchy land…

Meadow /// You guys coming together like that at last weeks Turmoil sure caught everyone by surprise…. Even Diamond himself….

$teven --- Well my Princess, what do you expect from someone as gifted as the “Sexy One”…. You have no idea what someone like me is capable of in the “surprise” department. Acid Stone and Killer Ken’s handcuffing is a pipe dream compared to different things “WE”… (he clears his throat) Ahem… “I” have up my sleeve. Just keep you eyes on my bouncing balls (he snickers), because in the very near future (he holds up two middle fingers to the camera) you’re all getting F*cked… (then he holds up all the fingers on both hands, then takes away his two middle fingers, and shakes his hands at the camera) and you won’t be able to handle the shakeup and tidal wave as it crashes down on this half-ass normal federation. You can’t stop an avalanche can you?

Meadow /// What the hell are you talking about?

$teven --- You’ll see…. Yep, you’ll all see soon enough….

Meadow /// Okay enough about Diamond and whatever scheme you are conducting…. How’s it feel to be the new Turmoil Champon?

$teven --- Outstanding Dollface….. It feels awesome to get my first title belt… Hard Rocker and Daredevil… I told you how it was going to play out on the “Silver Screen” didn’t I? But I’m not going to sit there and punk you guys out on GWL TV… You guys gave me a good match, you both have similar skills as the Silver One…. But in the end the guy that wanted it the most got it. Rocker, you got some major moves, yet not quite up to par… You were too damn reckless to keep your mind in the match… Don’t worry, the belt fits me just fine… And it will for a long time…. As for you Daredevil… Where was your head? (he snickers again) Oh yeah…. It was splattered all over the runway… Too bad for you… But I warned your stupid ass… DO NOT make a move towards my woman… It’ll cost you! Just like Nightshade is going to find out very soon… (he motions to Ivy) Isn’t that right baby????

(Ivy says nothing… just starring at the camera with an angered yet puzzling look)

Meadow /// Aren’t you going to say anything? Miss Ivy? Hello………….

Ivy --- Don’t push me bitch….

Meadow /// Hey there…. Don’t be getting in my face…..

Ivy --- We’ll don’t sit there and make me look like a fool either….

$teven --- (a slight laugh) Now you two sex kittens play nice…. Put the claws away and let the man with the plan do the talking around here.

Meadow /// Okay big boy, what plan do you have for this weeks tag-team match between you and Peach Hip Guy against the likes of Lord Nightshade and the latest to come of the GWL disabled list Draven?

$teven --- I like how you put that Muffy…. Disabled List… This guy has to be disabled… or have some kind of learning disability to want to run with Nightshade and the rest of the “Short Bus Brigade”…. No shit…. I had a cab whip into the local gas station the other day… I could have swore I saw four “help the needy cans” laid out on the counter….. I looked like a burn victim with frizzy hair, a guy in chains that had a mask like he belonged in a nuthouse, real Hannibal Lecter like…. Then there was this skinny Ethiopian girl in some major need of a root canal, braces or something…. Finally the fourth can had a picture of a make up wearing clown on it…. I thought it was for a circus coming to town or something right??? How wrong Mr. Sexy was…. I started to pull my wallet out to give these poor souls some of my hard earned cash…. Then I realized the gas station was just selling collectable GWL cups with pictures of “The Damned” on it…. Crow, Stone, Stitch, and Draven in that order…. I asked the guy behind the counter, what the hell’s up with this? Can’t you give your customers anything good? He said that Mobil and the GWL are running some promotion where each week a different stable gets sold…. He pointed to a sign that said…. This Week --- The Damned…

Meadow /// Really?

$teven --- Now hold on…. I’m not done with the story…. I asked the clerk to give me a black magic marker and I put a big “X” over the advertising…. And wrote “F-R-E-A-K W-E-E-K” on it …. I got ready to leave and I turned and asked him…. So where are all the Nightshade cups at? The clerk shrugged his shoulders at first…. Then he remembered a box of them behind the counter… Before he opened the box, I told him to give them to me…. I picked up the marker again… and changed the mailing address to Montreal Sperm Bank…. And told him to make sure UPS “cums” today and picks it up…. That way everyone can do just what the Silver One is going to do with his fist this weekend…. The gas station clerk said “what is that?”….. Stuff that Cumsucker… and ram it down his Cocksucking throat…. (he tries to keep a straight face but he starts laughing and can’t keep a straight face anymore)

Meadow /// You goofball…. You almost had me there…. You sure like to make jokes about your fellow wrestlers don’t you?

$teven --- Only the ones that are JOKES! You can’t seriously believe all this witchcraft this, cut the head off of a live chicken that, practically the right hand man to Hades stuff… Woman please…. This group of trash is the biggest waste of oxygen I’ve ever seen in my life. Apparently they’ve been reading too many Steven King novels…. Watching too much Friday the 13th, Freddy Kruegger, Michael Myers bullcrud on television growing up…. (he points to the sky) The good man upstairs who watches over me and the rest of the “normal” people in this world all know you clowns weren’t born like that. I would pay a freaking boatload of cash to get my hands on a picture of these 5 whackjobs when they were in like 3rd grade…. What’s Mommy and Daddy think of their little “Demons” now…. Or did they freaking eat them? Who knows…. Like I said…. JOKES…. And I’m going to personally make sure they are sent to the bottom of the food chain…. In GWL… In Fan Base… In the whole damn world itself… Maggots like this don’t deserve to walk where I strut…. After I rid the GWL of the likes of you 4….. now make that 5 with Draven…. Maybe Satin won’t charge you too much rent in the closest thing to hell there is… the Unemployment Line….

Meadow /// We’ll what do you have to say about your partner in this match-up… Mr. Hip…

$teven --- Yep, yet another present from the Duke…. Peach guy, Hip Hugger… I’m not sure what name you actually go by. Am I a big fan of the Peach-ster? I’m going to have to say not really…. Sorry Peachy…. I’m being honest. But for this Turmoil only…. We got one thing in common…. To knock the tar out of Nightshade and Draven… I think we got the same goal in mind here. Nightshade took your Annahilator title from you, so I know you want to extract a little revenge on your own. And I’m going to personally say thank you for watching my back… Ummm… Covering my tail…. Ummm.. Man that sure doesn’t sound right with someone like Peach you know… Let’s just say…. Thanks for being there dude, and let’s leave it at that.

Meadow /// But do you think the two of you can work together and defeat the likes of Draven and Nightshade?

$teven --- Hell yeah. Peach Pit almost had Nightshade before he fell apart in his title defense. So if you’re asking if I doubt Peaches talent…. No I’m not… I think he can handle his own just fine…. I just don’t want the brother handling anything of mine… Sorry… another joke there…. Sorry Muffin, I’ll be good…. Nightshade can get beat, he doesn’t seem to think so, but it’s a given…. If Diamond ever gives me a straight up best of 5 against this washed up Hall of Shamer, I’ll prove it to you and the rest of the world… I’m not messing around here… I figure I’ll cut the head off the Damned, a big dickhead that is…. Then the rest of the Body will surely go down with it… The Damned’s Motto is “Counting Bodies”…. I’m going to count all right…. I’m going to count the teeth I knock out of his freaking head… That way it won’t hurt my tag partner so bad when he “tea bags” your ass after the match…

(he looks directly into the camera, focused and demanding, Ivy tries to keep Steven’s keep his composure)

Ivy --- Steven relax… breathe…

$teven --- Screw it all… I need to let this all out now… Nightshade… You listening pal? You keep sitting there… Thinking you’re on top of some Devil worshipping perch… I’m not impressed, scared, or intimidated by the likes of you… Like I said earlier, I think you’re garbage. You’re calling me out stating that I made a big mistake by even stepping in your path. By my scorecard, it’s you that made the error… in the Bill Buckner variety… You weren’t even in my radar until you laid your hands on the lady… Now it’s “Bullseye F*cking City” stuck right on your chest! It just sucks you had to bring “Wolfman” with you. Draven, the Northern Wolf??? I don’t know a single thing about you. I’ll have to wait and see what you bring to the table come Turmoil. But if you’re being brainwashed by this “toolbox”, and blinded with his “Night-Vision”…. Then I gotta take you down as well… They say it takes a “SILVER BULLET” to bring down a werewolf…. I got one of those with your name written all over it Buddy…. Count on it!

Meadow /// You better calm it down a little Silver… I think you’ve almost pushed the envelope as to if this promo can even make it to the air…. The language, the threatening comments, the sexual innuendoes… I mean it!

$teven --- You got to be kidding me Sweet-Meat… Last time I checked this isn’t Romper Room or Sesame Street… it’s the GWL… If you don’t like it, too damn bad. If you’re asking me to change my “Sexy Silver Style”… then you can choke on the Silver Sausage…. I’m who I am…. And that’s your GWL Turmoil TV Champion…. Deal with it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(both he and Ivy stand up and walk down the sidewalk, leaving Meadow and the camera crew lost for words as the screen fades to black)