Getting to the point, I am a Star Wars fan who is fed up. All I've been hearing from people lately is criticism about the newest round of Star Wars films. George Lucas has been bashed repeatedly for the offerings, yet somehow he continues to rake in millions from each movie. With such widespread criticism, how could this be possible? Oh yeah, those who do the bitching are supporting his movies by seeing them, buying the DVDs when they come out (for "collectors" purposes only), and buying the shitty toys for their kids. If you want Mr. Lucas to stop what he's doing, heres an idea:
If you were so fed up by Episodes 1 and 2 to the point of yelling at the screen, then why the hell are you plunking down $8.50 plus $10 for greasy popcorn for your fatass kids to see it? You're paying for something you know you're going to hate anyway, kind of like hiring a fat hooker (unless you're into that kind of thing). If you keep buying into Star Wars then Lucas is going to think you like it and keep doing what he's doing.
When you've seen it once, you probably wouldn't want to contribute any more money to it, right? Wrong. You feel obligated to buy the special edition DVD with 6 hours of extra crap for $50. It's not like owning the complete set gives you some kind of special Force powers where you can float the remote to yourself from across the room (although that would be a sweet power to have). If you don't like it, don't buy it. Morons.
No matter how much anybody complains about Star Wars, George Lucas could buy your family and send them to Antarctica if he really wanted to. That guy has cash for underwear (the skid marks don't show up on green as much either). Star Wars cashes in almost more on merchandising and memorabilia than it does from the movie itself. When a Star Wars movie comes out, you can't get away from it. It's on your soda cans, Skittles bags, dirty magazines and condoms. To sum it up, anyone can rip his movie but in the end he's still better off than you'll ever be.
The latest installment in the Star Wars legacy, entitled Revenge of the Sith, should be hailed as an ass-kicking masterpiece, not berated. Episode 3 was a sinister array of action. Despite some awkward dialog and corny moments, the other 80% of the film was fighting, destruction, robots, and downright evil characters. The film pretty much progressed from battle to battle, sometimes with two going on at once. If you even looked away for 30 seconds, you would miss somebody getting killed or something getting blown up.
In case you don't believe me, here is a numerical breakdown of how much ass-kicking was in this movie:
Arms or legs chopped off by lightsaber... 7
Jedi children slaughtered... dozens
Robots that got their shit ruined... thousands
Exposed nipples... 0
Clones blasted into oblivion... thousands
Guys electrocuted and thrown out an 800 story window... 1
Wookies on screen at once... hundreds
Half-robot half-creatures who got shot in the heart and blown up... 1
Lines said by a pissed-off Samuel L. Jackson... several
Annoying lines by Jar-Jar Binks... 0 (thank Allen)
Property damage... 1,000,000,000,000,000 Space Bucks