I have a simple question. Why do women have so many fucking shoes? The average girl has 12 pairs of tennis shoes, 10 pairs of sandals, 3 pairs of platforms, 4 pairs of hiking boots, and 5 pairs of dress shoes. Why in the hell do they need so many? Some of them buy a new fucking pair of shoes for every "Cute little $100 Outfit" they get (usually purchased with a significant other's credit card). They think they need to "color coordinate". Here's a hint, nobody cares. Black or white matches with anything. 2 pairs of shoes will suffice for you little stupid matching outfits that you wear once. While you're being all cutesy pukesy, little orphaned sweatshop boys are toiling away at their sewing machine in Indonesia, China, Taiwan, and any of those shithole countries that use kids for cheap labor. How do you feel about that?
I just don't get the need for all these goddamn shoes. At my house there is a pile of like 20 pairs of shoes and about 95% of them belong to my Mexican step mom and most of them never even move from where they are and just sit there collecting cat piss. Then when the light is burned out in that room I trip on that shit. God damnit. I really don't understand the whole platform thing. Chicks make them out to be all stylish (and so they aren't 2 feet shorter than their asshole basketball player boyfriend) but then they sit there all day and bitch about how uncomfortable they are. Why the fuck do you wear them then? You need to walk around all day so why not wear something comfortable instead of making yourself look like a prostitute. You chose to wear them so shut the hell up before I lose my own shoe in your ass. Another thing about chicks wearing platforms is it takes them for fucking ever to go up and down stairs and they usually coordinate with their stupid friends to wear similar shoes on a given day so I get stuck behind a herd of these bitches when I'm trying to make it to class a minute after the bell rings as I usually do. I could walk on my hands up stairs faster than these idiots and I can't walk on my hands without busting my shit. Shoes are meant to help you walk so why do you defeat the purpose of that by wearing something that restricts this. Yet another thing about these is for those homo little dances they get all done up and wear their fancy shoes for all of 5 minutes then chuck them against the wall. Why not just wear pots and pans, they would be about as comfortable and cost a lot less, plus make a lot cooler noise when thrown.
Lately I have been seeing these shoes that have no backs on them and let the back of the heel hang out. Why? You are probably paying the same amount of money for an incomplete shoe, or maybe even more because everyone has to have the best "Designer" brands. I can be a fucking shoe designer, it doesn't take a genius to invent a shoe with no back on it that mindless fashion driven idiots will buy in droves. Oh, and I can also come up with the exact same shoe with a different color so I will sell even more. Wow, how can people be poor nowadays with all the stupid products people buy? I have 2 pairs of shoes. One is black, one is silver. I alternate them every once in a while. If I had one pair of shoes I would be perfectly happy. It's all I need. My black shoes go with any pants I wear, dress pants or not. If someone doesn't like it they can fucking blow me because I have drugs to buy, not shoes.
Back to the poor Indonesian kids, I'm going to make girls feel sorry for all the fucking shoes they buy. Next time you add on to your 100 slot shoe tree hanging on your closet door, think of the sweatshop boys. So here's what we're gonna do. I'm going to come up with some statistics and you're going to believe them. Let's say for every 2 pairs of shoes you own, one Chinese boy is sold by his parents to a sweatshop until he turns 18 and they let him go. I'm guilty of this one. But here's where it gets nasty. Let's say for every 5 pairs of shoes you own, a boy from India goes without his bowl of rice for the day after screwing up a left woman's red dress shoe while you sit there and gorge like the pig of an American that you are. For every 8 pairs of shoes you own, a little Taiwan boy gets his hand mangled in a sewing machine and thrown on the street to rot because he can't work anymore. Are you happy yet? How about for every 12 pairs of shoes you own a little Indonesian boy gets beaten with a board with nails in it for 2 hours after he fell asleep at his sewing machine because he is only allowed 4 hours of sleep a night for every 16 hours he works. Aren't you a gruesome bitch now? But oh, you still have your precious shoes so why care? How about for every 20 pairs of shoes you own an innocent 6 year old Brazilian boy DROPS DEAD after being forced to work at gunpoint for 63 1/2 hours straight. Oh but how does this effect you? Well, they need to get rid of the bodies so they start sending the bodies to every 20th person that buys their shoes to thank them for all the profit they receive and he shows up on your doorstep with maggots where his eyes used to be. Good job, you and your shoes just produced a 6 year old carcass and 100,000 baby flies.
90% of women just killed a poor Brazilian boy