NEWS FLASH: This site is meant to be crude, offensive, and downright nasty. I don't know why it would be considered otherwise. This site isn't for you to sit and read while you have your milk and cookies after nap-time. This is real-life offensive shit. The whole scope of this site is Levon and myself bitching about things that occur in everyday life that we don't agree with. This is our OPINION and no one is forcing you to read a damn word of it. No one is even forcing you to come here. If you come here and become offended by anything, then good. It makes us happy because the hit counter goes up and our whole meaning for this comes true. If you think you might become offended by anything you see on here, DONT READ IT. Now don't get us wrong. Me and Levon have hearts. We wouldn't put something on here that is derogatory to the people that really matter to us. Also, we do not hate every single person in any one of the following categories: Whores, Mexicans, Minivan/Ford drivers, Fat People, etc... There are just certain ones out there that piss us off and they happen to fall into this group. While I can't stop people from becoming offended and if I could, I damn well wouldn't anyway, it just makes me smile when someone is offended because that's the point of it.
Those of you who do read it when you know you shouldn't, there's nothing I can do for you. If you are offended by it, then you are obviously not secure with yourself and whatever you were offended by. So MAYBE instead of sitting in the corner eating cupcakes and crying about it, you could do something about it. You can take this as something that is called "Tough Love". I mean, you are offended because you are what we write. That might be a slight clue that you should do something about it and if you are comfortable with your appearance/condition, then why the hell are you offended in the first place?!? If you really want to keep reading what we have to say, go right ahead, but instead of whining about how big of assholes we are (because we don't care what you think of us) you can take this as some harsh advice to what you may want to do to improve your life. To quote Eminem, "You can call me an asshole, I'm glad. Cause I am whatever you say I am, if I wasn't then why would I say I am?" If you just continue to read our OPINION (yes kids, important word there) and complain about it, then we will turn around and just throw more of what you hate back at you because we love to hear how insecure people get all pissy when someone else points out their flaws when they, themselves, know that it is true. That's right, although it is called Bullshit Central, we don't bullshit with you. We tell things the way they are. All the things Levon said in his infamous "Fat People Suck" column are 100% true things that various fat people do and have done. So is it offensive? Yes. But is it the truth? Yes. Like I said before, not all fat people are like this. Some are comfortable with their condition and some improve their condition and some just sit there and complain and do absolutely nothing useful to improve their condition. The last type are the ones he is referring to. If you don't care how you look or are actively doing something about it, good. If you're not, then shut up.
I've decided to retire the Dan Haas poll. The final results were 31 people for him being gay and 6 for him not being gay. Those 6 people that voted no are the ones that are right. Dan Haas is not a homosexual. He likes women as much as me and Levon. I don't like him one bit and there's no way in hell I can explain that picture, but he is not a homosexual. Sorry to disappoint.
On a parting note, this site will not change whatsoever. Things will continue to piss us off, and we will continue to share these things with you. If you don't like anything, don't come here or don't read it. By coming here and reading it, you waive any right you have to complain about it. And if you do complain, it's your own damn fault and we love to hear about it.
People have become offended because they realized I'm trying to offend them