I'm Just a Cuddly Bundle of Holiday Hatred (Submitted on 12/19/03 by Allen)
The Dropout Gives Some Life-saving Advice *New Hate Mail* (Submitted on 11/23/03 by Charlie)
Title Not Given In Order To Appear "Badass" (Submitted on 11/14/03 by Allen)
You Want to Help Me? You're the One That Needs Help (Submitted on 11/09/03 by Charlie)
The Great Amtrak Caper (Submitted on 10/23/03 by Charlie)
Chronicles of Stupid Hags Vol. 2 (Submitted on 10/11/03 by Allen)
Metrosexuals are Ruining Manliness Everywhere (Submitted on 10/2/03 by Charlie)
Drive a Volkswagen Beetle if you Hate Jews (Submitted on 9/17/03 by Charlie)
Talking Out of Your Ass Doesn't Mean You're Not a Moron (Submitted on 9/07/03 by Allen)
Cuntasaurus Rex Bleeds American *My First Hate Mail* (Submitted on 8/24/03 by Charlie)
Celebrities That SHOULD Run for Political Office (Submitted on 8/14/03 by Charlie)
Fuck Cancer Patients, Help Preserve Terminal Illnesses (Submitted on 8/09/03 by Allen)
The Music Industry is Full-blown Shit (Submitted on 8/07/03 by Levon)
Take a STAND for Shutting Up (Submitted on 8/04/03 by Charlie)
Chronicles of Stupid Hags Vol. 1 (Submitted on 7/28/03 by Allen)
Lady, I'm Just the Pizza Guy... (Submitted on 7/24/03 by Charlie)
America: Bullshit, Plain and Simple (Submitted on 6/29/03 by Allen)
Top 10 Ways to Support Our Troops (Submitted on 6/23/03 by Charlie)
"Hollywood Homicide" Makes Me Want to Commit an Actual One (Submitted on 6/18/03 by Charlie)
Organic Food: The Scourge of Common Sense (Submitted on 6/17/03 by Allen)
My Interview With Fred Durst (Submitted on 6/11/03 by Charlie)
Special Guest Column of the Fortnight: Vol. 3 (Submitted on 6/09/03 by Allen Thome)
Janitors Have it Easy (Submitted on 5/30/03 by Charlie)
Special Guest Column of the Fortnight: Vol. 2 (Submitted on 5/26/03 by Allen Thome)
Branson, MO: Worst Town EVER (Added on 5/23/03 by Charlie)
The Truth (Added on 5/18/03 by Charlie)
Special Guest Column of the Fortnight: Vol. 1 (Submitted on 5/11/03 by Allen Thome)
Some Things Don't Belong in Tubes (Added on 5/5/03 by Charlie)
What Ever Happened to the Vikings? (Added on 4/20/03 by Charlie)
Women Are Killing Little Kids in Indonesia (Added on 4/10/03 by Charlie)
This Site Is Meant To Be Offensive (Added on 4/01/03 by Charlie)
How to Make Reality TV Tolerable (Added on 3/26/03 by Charlie)
Fat People Suck (Added on 3/16/03 by Levon)
Your Ass Crack Is Not Attractive (Added on 3/09/03 by Charlie)
Your Minivan is Not a Fucking Race Car (Added on 3/05/03 by Levon)
My Battle Against the Russian Mafia (Added on 2/25/03 by Charlie)
Layne and Kurt are NOT the Same, Fuckhead (Added on 2/21/03 by Levon)
Dude, You're Taking Mentos, NOT Alcohol (Added on 2/17/03 by Charlie)
10 Reasons Why Ford Mustang Can Suck My Ass (Added on 2/9/03 by Levon)
CONGRATULATIONS! You're a moron! (Added on 2/3/03 by Charlie)
Feminists Raid the Super Bowl! (Added on 1/30/03 by Charlie)
US of Gay (Added on 1/30/03 by Levon)