Random Thoughts

essays My Essays




This page contains some of my essays.
Read on!


Information Technology

Information Technology is one of my favorite subjects. It is where I've learned how to gain access on the internet and other computer-related studies.
Hard as it may seem, I have tried my best to understand each lesson. IT is a very interesting and complex subject so you really need to be attentive to each lesson in order to learn.

Public Speaking

I HATE public speaking. I don't like the idea of "all eyes on me." I feel... judged. Even if no one's even really doing that. I'm not the type of person to thrive on getting attention. I'd much rather blend in.

Double Standards With Men and Women

Double standards with men and women... one of the most common ones being that if a woman sleeps around, she's automatically labeled as a slut. Oh but men doing that... it's all good, that's what they're supposed to do, you P-I-M-P. What's that about? I think as long as a woman respects herself, and protects herself, then that's what matters. It's not a lifestyle I would choose for myself, but for those who do, shouldn't be labeled poorly because of it. Growing up in Thailand, where things are so much more conservative, it's definitely had an impact on how I choose to do things in my personal life. But I don't knock on women who don't do things the same way I do. I'm glad though, because I feel as though growing up in Thailand, and then coming here, has balanced me out. My initial reaction to how open people were with sex here, was shock. But it has taught me how to be more in touch with my own sexuality, to not be afraid to talk about it, but at the same time, I still hold my core values close to me.

Letting Go

I need to learn to let go of the small things. But I don't know how to. I see myself turning into my mom in some ways the older I get, and it's funny. She stresses about everything, so do I. She thinks way too much about little things, so do I. She thinks worst case scenario, so do I. I understand how this affects me. It only leads to being upset, whether it be angry or depressed. And I know if I don't change, I'll possibly push people away from me, and also, continue to stay stuck in the present and past instead of moving towards the future. I know these things. But don't know how to start changing them. I'm a person with many flaws, but I do think I've taken one step further in realizing them and understanding what I need to change to improve my life.

Love

I don't think there is one way to describe love. It comes in so many shapes and forms and sizes. I love the people close to me in different ways, on different levels, to different lengths. Loving someone and actually being IN love differ dramatically. I have been blessed and fortunate enough to fall in love, and to be loved... and I do know that it's one of the most beautiful, passionate, exciting, thrilling, warmest feelings ever. It's also one of the toughest, scariest, and painful. I have never felt more towards anyone than when I'm in love. That person automatically is placed before me. Perhaps that's what gets me hurt in the end. Or maybe, it's because I just haven't met the right one, who knows how to embrace that rather than take advantage of it.

xoxo