Ah, good. You have found my COM 221 webpage. I am taking this class during summer 2002. It is my first internet course in addition to Psychology 220, which I am also taking this summer. Below is the assignment that is due week four of the course. The goal was to read the document, written at a 12th grade level, and edit it so it can be read at a 6th or 7th grade level.
The Original Document
Nutritional toxicity is a continuing, dangerous hazard that is often overlooked. Over 60,000 cases are reported each year, according to the Center for Disease Control. But most cases are not reported. The Center estimates the actual incidence may be as exorbitant as 6.5 million instances. Documented incidents have illustrated that pilots are certainly not immune, but you can take a few steps to guard against toxic nutrients. Avoid culinary establishments with appearances that do not inspire confidence in immaculate sanitation. Circumvent raw fish and shellfish. Evade pre-prepared foods, such as poultry salads. Never ingest anything that offends your olfactory sense or your sense of flavor discrimination. If you have a copilot or surrogate representative aboard, it is optimum if you consume comprehensively alternative nutrients, just to be kept innocuous of digestive disorders. Ingestive allergies and related adverse reactions to food additives can also entail gastro-intestinal quandaries. Contrary to popularly held belief, nearly everyone is susceptible to one degree or another to some variant of food allergy. The maximum divergence is in symptom reaction capability on the part of variant individuals. Additionally, each person's reaction may change with chronological progression, and people often grow "in" and "out of" allergies.
The Revised Document
Food poisoning is a big hazard that people often overlook. The Centers for Disease Control say there are over 60,000 cases each year that people report. They say there are probably more than 6.5 million instances that actually happen. Even though records show that pilots are not immune, you can take certain steps so you do not get food poisoning. They are:
· Do not go to dirty-looking restaurants.
· Do not eat raw fish and shellfish.
· Stay away from pre-prepared foods (such as chicken salad).
· Never eat foods that do not smell right.
If you have a co-pilot or backup pilot on board, make sure you do not eat the same food as they do. This is just in case one of the meals is not prepared well. This way, only one person may get sick and there will always be at least one person to fly the plane. Most people do not agree, but almost everyone can get sick from some type of food allergy and the reaction is different for each person. Also, each person’s reaction may change with time, and people usually grow “in” and “out” of allergies.
