It was broken. There was no doubt in his mind that he had landed awkwardly on his leg and now it was broken. 1....2.....3, QVC had just lost the damned nWo tag title match and now Quake lay here, on the losing end to two bitches dressed in Halloween costumes. He didn't deserve this shit, he was bigger and better than anyone else who would step into this ring yet he was being dragged to this level of humiliation....perhaps a broken leg was a blessing in disguise?
7 months had passed since that night at Wafermania.Quake now found himself in perfect health. The nurses at Addenbrookes Hopsital, in his home town of Cambridge had done a great job of healing his leg and making him feel at home. A whole month in the hospital recovering plus six more resting up at his riverside cottage in Cambridge spent writing a novel about the otters who lived in the river near his house. The novel titled "Larry Otter and Building of Azka-Dam" had become a near bestseller before some stupid woman claimed Quake had ripped her novel about a wizard off...this kind of confused the Quake One who couldn't understand the comparison between a family of otters building a dam and a boy wizard who saves the world??
On top of writing Larry Otter, Quake had got involved with many English charities....Quake with charity you ask? There's actually a reason to this, it all happend one night while in the hospital........
FLASHBACK TIME May 11th, Addenbrookes, Quakes Hospital room
After another day of intense therapy Quake rested back in his private room, laying on the luxury matress he had orderd specially for his room. His leg had been playing him up moreso than usual on this night so he decided to double his medicine doseage. Add this to a nightcap of Jack Daniels and it's fair to say that the Quake One was seeing fluffy bunnies!
Shortly after dropping off, it was then he saw the angel. A beautiful angel with long blonde hair, wings protruding from her back and a great rack! Quake sat back in awe as the angel floated down to him, Robbie Williams track Angels played in the background as she hoverd in front of Quake.....
"Quake...you have something most people don't have" , the angel said without so much as introducing herself!?!
"What's that then...." Quake replied, "Good looks, talent A BROKEN LEG???"
The angel sighed, this apparition could be hard work, "No Quake, I'm the ghost of charitable stuff...well I don't have an official name and I've never had a film based on me but Im the ghost that appears in dreams and make rich folk turn to charity...naturally I've tried to get into Bill Gates's dreams but he has anit-hacker software installed into his brain"
"Sweet, I wonder if Bill will sort me out some of that? SOOOO, why are you here to tell me to be more charitable anyway?"
"Because you're rich and selfish and plus you need a new angle, this whole charitable thing works two ways. You help poor people and they help you get more over with your fans when you return to the ring and join the WOWC"
"Uh, whats the WOWC? I'm done with wrestling anyway lady, I have enough money and plus I'm just healing from a broken leg I don't need this shit anymore"
"Jesus christ, look the more money you put into charity the more money that will eventually come back to you in sponsorships and bonds, in the long run it'll make you a richer person. Plus you need to get back into wrestling to promote your charities on the TV.....sheesh sometimes I wonder why I do this job. NOW listen to my warning, if you don't fullfill this task god will send the demon of sodomy down to sort you out...got it?"
"Soo...if I don't return to the ring and do this charity stuff god will send Elton John round? Well I definatly don't want that bummer after me so count it done lady....."
PRESENT DAY
Indeed it was the apparition that drove Quake to find out about the WOWC and throw his name into the hat for the world title battle royale, a chance too good to miss up. However he also promised to get into charity work.....so he is.
Our cameras open straight out with the Quake One. He is standing alone in the middle of what seems like a large desert area. A single tree with no leaves stands in the background and two shabby looking huts can br seen behind him. Quake wears a white vest and brown hunting shorts with sandals, the burning sun batters down onto his shoulders and reflects of his bald head. Squinting slightly Quake smiles at the camera....
"Welcome to one of the poorest and most disgusting places on the face of the planet. I'm talking about the derelict slum that is Sudan out here in Africa. As you may all know I am Quake, back in the wrestling business preparing for a title battle royale for the WOWC but right now I am here to bring a little bit of hope to the people of Sudan. Plague, famine and hunger has haunted this town now something good has founds it's way into Sudan, that good is the love of Quake!"
"I've only been here a short time and I've sure seen a lot of bad, alot of poor bastards with only the flies on their face for food, naturally when I stepped off the plane and saw all these paupers I almost felt bad while washing down the last of my lobster lunch, OH THE GUILT! Honestly though, today I think I can make a difference out here....BUT FIRST, I think I should introduce myself to all of you in the WOWC that don't know me.
"My name as I'm sure you all know is Quake, former nWo champion and holder of the ONCE prestigious TV title for over 6 months. A founding member of the greatest faction of all time QVC and all round legend I am indeed someone you guys in the upcoming battle royale should keep an eye on. My agent faxed me the match sheet and frankly it should be a good way to kick off the debut of WOWC! Jugernauts in there for one. Jugs used to be a force in the old days of WOW, but when I was in the nWo, even on my debut he was letting his age show. Methinks I heard him say this could be his last chance to grab and title and #sigh# despite my charitable ways Jugs final wish of getting a title cannot be fullfilled because indeed I am planning on taking that belt and no one should be suprised to hear thatl"
"There's some other people in there too, lets see...Amazon, a new one to me let's hope shes hotter than the lesbo vamps. Another newbie is this Kilroy the Robot, Vyle and I chatted about this guy and wonderd how a member of the Brittish National Party and disgraced daytime chathost got into the WOWC, he's probably pretty good though no one is as good as me of course.Death....Gideon....Necron.....Double M....Shady....SHADY? Boy it's going to be fun getting into the ring with Shady, while I was sat up in hospital planning my comeback, I had to sit there and watch this moron...this undeserving idiot Shady taking the TV title and nWo title. It was pathetic and it was here that I cancelled my subscription to the nWo channel and got the cooking channel instead"
"You see I couldn't stand seeing Shady running the show and knowing I couldn't do anything about it, well Shady now I can do something about it. Like I'm helping all these starving bastards out here, I will make sure you don't plauged the WOWC. It amazes me that you can cut a promo and even try to tell people that you believe Quake is tough, who are you to compliment me uh? I'd rather take a shit in the toilet and have someone come into the cubicle, take a look and pronounce "My what a lovelly floater" than have a turd like you comment on my skills in the ring. I mean you even said you will wait till you see us cut a promo and then JUDGE, the rest of the people in the match, you're a joke. I'm sure you have a few fans out there but I'm going to be gunning for you Shady because A) I don't like you and B) I'm going to prove that when the competition is actually any good then you just can't handle it. Trust me Shady you're looking at the guy who's going to pick up your worthless ass and dump you over the top rope"
Quake takes a pause as he wipes sweat from his head. The camera pans out and we see four small little Sudan kids sitting in front of Quake watching him film. One of the cameramen tosses Quake a bottle of water, which he sips from as the children look on wide eyed. Looking over the bottle top Quake see's the children looking at him and slowly eases the bottle from his lips and smiles.
"You....want.....the bottle....uh kids?"
The thirsty children nod and lick at their parched lips as Quake turns the bottle over and empties its contents onto the floor. He hands the now empty bottle to one of the kids who looks inside it for a single drop of water but finds none. The camera zooms back in on Quakes face who seems positively delighted with himself....
"NOW THATS CHARITY! You see how happy that kid is? I saw that bottle as nothing but worthless plastic, that kid however saw it and is probably going to use it as a sleeping bag or something, poor skinny sod! Anyhow, theres one more person I need to mention in the battle royale before I get to work and that's violent messiah, an old adversary of mine and the person who I don't quite know how to take in this match. He's a good wrestler I know that but the guy is so messed up in his head that he could be perhaps one of the weakest people in there. In an over the top battle royale it doesn't matter whether or not you are the best individual athlete what does matter is knowing that CERTAIN people wont screw you over while you're trying to dispose of the other people in the match...do you see where I'm coming from VM? I'm talking about watching out for one another while we clear the ring and leave two people in there who DESERVE to be WOWC champion....naturally you're the only other person there who I think could possibly be champion and me...well I've been there before and I want to do it again. VM, me and you as the final two has ratings and I can do what I've done before and that's whip your ass.....all in good sportsmanship of course!"
From off camera Quake is tossed a black t-shirt which he catches and throws on over his head. In the middle of the t-shirt it has a picture of the earth with Quake hugging one side of the globe and Violent Messiah hugging the other side.....
"You see Violent Messiah, I don't have enough friends in the world what with Vyle off doing his own thing and the fact that no one else in the nWo really liked me, apart from Cheapy of course. This world simply can't survive with people haterizing on each other and letting the scum of the planet go on their merry way. Look at me, I'm spreading my new found way of life here in Sudan, stopping the horridness of hunger and of course the brutal government, I'll give them an earful but in the WOWC we could do the same thing....in this battle royale we could prevent the travesty of Shady or Jugernaut becoming the first WOWC champion.
"If not of course I can dispose of you like I will the rest of the chumps in this match, and become the first WOWC champ. I've always been about making history but now I'm not just making history for me but for the good of the planet. The Quake One is back in town and ready to start all over, if anyone wants to be my enemy then so be it, but at the end of the day we're all living under the family of god....or some shit like that. Right, follow me and I'll show you how to feed a hundred Sudan children with a loaf of bread and a dead camel!"
A thumbs up to the camera signals the end of Quakes first take in his tour of Sudan. His personal butler comes from behind Quake and begins to spray him down with a bottle of water. Quake fans himself down while talking....
"So Jeff, are we all set for the big food giveaway, I mean I have to feed some of these poor bastards before I leave and we need to film it for WOWC, can't let those geeks think that I'm not actually a changed man..."
"Absolutely sir, we've gatherd a tribe from a nearby settlement. All of them are starving and willing to do anything for food!"
"Excellent. Now get someone to run me a bath, I feel dirty just looking at these people."
Jeff nods and heads to Quake's trailer to begin running a bath while the Quake One amuses himself, offering the first Sudan child to pick their nose with their elbows a Penquin biscuit.
Scene Fade
