**It's been a while since the Lincoln Park Mafia has been heard from. Could they be bored with the competition put in front of them? Could they be bored of dominating team after team and barely breaking a sweat? Or could it possibly be that they've lost their interest in speaking to the media and the fans? Well, let's find out, as the LPM finally break their silence**
**Scene begins in a fancy restaurant. The patrons seem to be all upper class types, dressed in suits and such. The waiters and waitresses are dressed up in dress pants and dress skirts, each with white dress shirts. Sitting at a booth near the back of the restaurant are the members of the Lincoln Park Mafia. All three members are dressed up in suits (yikes!), with Black and Gunn choosing the more traditional navy blazer with black dress slacks. Styles, on the other hand, has chosen an unappealing baby blue suit, much like the kid from American Pie wore to his prom (you know, the pie guy). Styles seems to be fidgeting around with his tie, trying to get it straight, as the other two look at him like he rode the short bus to school**
Gunn: "Why the hell did you pick out that suit? You look like a freakin' mental retard."
Styles: "It's the only one they had in my size. Besides, it was on sale 'cause it's got this stain under the armpit. See?"
**Styles lifts up his arm to reveal a weird looking greenish/yellow stain right at the center of the armpit. Gunn makes a disgusted face, and shakes his head**
Black: "Speaking of leaving a stain, we did quite a number on the AEP the last time we faced them. But it looks like those sorry sons of bitches are coming back for more. See, I don't know if this match was their request, or if Hawke just felt like watching us destroy them once more for good measure. You'd think after the way we schooled those two oversized nutbags, they'd just lick their wounds and run off into the sunset."
Gunn: "My thinking is the AEP is too damn stupid to realize when they're outta their league. Or maybe they want as many opportunities as they can get, so that maybe one of these times they'll come out on top. I mean, maybe they figure the law of averages will finally be on their side. What I don't understand is why these other guys, uhh what's their name again...The Foresaken...why are they in this match? I mean, I know they're buddies of that ever so fearsome Jonathon Morris, so maybe they've got 'stroke' with Hawke, but c'mon, they've never wrestled a match in the IWF and already they get a shot at these tag titles."
Black: "Sounds like a Johnny Hawke special to me. For instance, our boy Somers kicks the living hell out of Marky Chang, and pins the chump. But instead of rewarding Somers with a World Title shot at Cruel Intentions, he puts him in some free for all contender's match. Meanwhile, Chang-a-lang defends his title against a chump that we disposed of, none other than that Big Sky cast off, Kakuma."
Gunn: "It blows my mind too, man. I think Hawke's a bit too preoccupied with 'Sassy' and Hunter. So Hawke, if you're listenin', stop paying attention to your sex life, and start payin' attention to this damn federation. Because while you sleep, the fed's being run into the ground having chumps like Marky Chang holding the top spot, rather than the TRUE World champ, Steve Somers. But you know what, Sebastian, I think maybe we'll just have to take it into our own hands and rectify the situation. What do you say?"
Black: "I'm all for that. So let's see how well everyone listens. Because we're not gonna hide our intentions like the rest of you dumb f**ks in the locker room. Listen to what I have to say, and listen carefully. Marky Chang, Kakuma, Jonathon Morris, Jason Royal, and Cade. This Pay Per View is gonna be extra special for you five individuals. Because one of you is gonna be the next victim in the LPM Drive By. Now as for which one, that's what you're gonna have to figure out for yourselves."
**While Black and Gunn are talking, Styles continues to fidget with his suit and tie**
Styles: "Is it my turn to talk about my match yet?"
Gunn: "What's the point? Your opponents are a no-show so far."
Styles: "Yeah, but I addressed Lou Gagliardi a week ago, but since Hawke can't make up his mind, he f**ked around with my match and added Wicked P to it, and I never got a chance to address him."
Gunn: "Uhh...are you sure you wanna address him right now?"
Styles: "Yes, why wouldn't I?"
Gunn: "Well, you don't exactly look too threatening in that baby blue piece of crap you call a suit."
Styles: "F**k you, bitch! The suit doesn't make the man, the man makes the man. Remember that."
Gunn: "For your sake, I hope that is the case."
**Gunn lets out a laugh as Styles shoots him an angry glare**
Styles: "I'll make this short, since we're about to eat soon. Wicked P....nah you know what, he ain't worth it. Wicked P, if you want some of my time, then earn it. Open your mouth, let me know you're alive, then and only then will I waste my breath on a sack of shit like you. Camera man, go the f**k away. The LPM wants to eat in privacy."