 We open up to find ourselves in a luxurious office space, dominated by a large solid oak desk in the centre of the room. On one side of the desk is a high backed leather chair, and from our perspective, we can see only the back of it, not the actual occupant. The person in question is reading something on a computer screen on the desk, chuckling to himself periodically, presumably at what he is reading.
All of a sudden, the chair swivels around to reveal its occupant, SFT’s own “Chosen One”, not to mention Intercontinental and World Television Champion, Christian Cage. Cage, in his own subtle as a brick to the balls style, is wearing a t-shirt bearing the message G_ F_CK Y__RS_LF in large white block capitals, with the slogan “Would You Like To Buy A Vowel?” underneath in white italics.
CHRISTIAN CAGE: Three examples Matt? You want three examples as to how I’ve changed the wrestling world? It’s a shame you only want three. Oh well, as I’m in a good mood, I’ll humour you, I’ll give you what you want, so listen up:
Number 1: The SFT World Television Championship, seen by most as a title held mainly by has-beens and never-were’s, a championship looked down on by most of SFT, but not by me. In the words of Connor MacDaddy himself, that’s the President of SFT, I bring credibility to that belt. I’m the man who has made that belt mean something, who’s actually held it for nearly two months now and made winning it a challenge rather than a formality. To add to that, I’ve held this title on three separate occasions, more than anyone else. They say that men make titles, not vice versa, and that’s the case here. On how many championships have you had that effect Matt? I’ll answer that for ya: None. Zero. Zip. Zilch. One how many titles will you have that effect in the future? The answer is the same, so I won’t waste my breath repeating it.
Number 2: EWA. You may not know those letters Matt, so allow me to give you a history lesson. EWA was a fed run by Ian Wynn, who even the most casual of SFT should know by name. But for the efforts of some, both backstage and in the ring, EWA would have barely got off the ground, but get off the ground it certainly did, and ran on and off for over two years, even living on now in some form I believe. As far as in-ring stuff goes, one man’s name became synonymous with EWA and it’s World Heavyweight Title. He was the first-ever Champion, the only multi-time holder of the title. Would you care to take a wild guess as to whom that man might have been, Matt? That’s right, me. How many federations can you say that you’ve affected in that kind of way Matt? I’m guessing that the answer here is and always will be the same as it was to my earlier question.
Number 3: Number 3 is easy. For Number 3, you have only to look back to last night, you have only to look back to Saturday Night Slaughter last week and victory over Kaeneis for the SFT Intercontinental Championship. Since that victory, no-one has seen Kaeneis, and I hear whispers that he may never step into the ring again, which I have to admit would be a shame for SFT. My point is though Matt, Kaeneis is a former Hardcore, US, Intercontinental and World Heavyweight Champion in SFT alone, and losing to ME has forced him to question his desire and ability to compete any more. On how many people of Kaeneis’ ability have you had that kind of effect? I can’t help but get a sense of deja vu when I think of the answer to that question.
As you can see Matt, my claims to have changed wrestling, whether you count it as change for the better or for worse, are more than hollow boasts, unlike so much of what I hear from you. I can picture it now; you heard my first promo and thought you spotted a weakness, a chink in my armour so to speak. You made the mistake of thinking that I, like you, would waste my time spouting nothing more than pointless, presumptuous drivel. You thought that, but asking me to justify my words, you could catch me out, expose me as a fraud, Unlucky Matt, try that one with someone on whom it might actually work.
I will tell you just what I told Kaeneis last week, what I told Megan the Monster both of the times that I faced her. What I say, the words that so many misconstrue as arrogance, is actually nothing more than self-confidence brought on by having seen it all, done it all and got a whole damn wardrobe full of t-shirts during my time in this sport. Unlike you Matt, I KNOW that I have what it takes to cash the checks that my mouth writes. I know because I’ve done it before, and I know that I can do it again? Can you honestly look yourself in the mirror and say that Matt? No, you can’t. You can’t because you don’t know what it means to work for success, you don’t know what it feels like to lose match after match, to become disillusioned with wrestling and even with your own LIFE and to somehow draw strength from it and turn it around, like I have. You’re just a rookie, no matter of your age, you’re just like every 17 or 18 year-old kid who walks into a wrestling school with stars in their eyes and a very real belief that they possess something that no-one else does, something that will allow them to dominate this sport and become a star of unparalleled greatness.
Just like you, these kids rack up an easy win or two, some may even win a title, but the first time they face a real challenge, like you do this week, they fall apart. They choke under the big bright lights and find themselves flat on their backs for a 1-2-3 before they know what has hit them. Many lose heart at this and walk away, unable to believe that they have fallen at the very first hurdle. Some, however, are back the next week, and the next week, and the next week, knowing that one loss isn’t the be all and end all of things. It’s the people in that second category who go on to become the true stars in this sport. Guess which category I fall into Matt? Maybe one day you’ll join me, but you have to taste failure first. You have to feel the bitter sting of defeat, and you have to come back stronger, more determined. Then you’ll be on the true road to stardom here. The attitude that you have, the belief that you can’t be beaten, has been around since the birth of this sport. Hell, even I had that belief once, but just like I was, you’re gonna be proved very wrong one day, and that day may just be a little closer than you think.
You did get one thing right in your promo though matt, in the midst of all the boasts and bravado; you did manage to touch on the truth once. You said “Christian Cage is not technically a nobody” and in that, you couldn’t be more correct.
Once, not so very long ago, you would have been right to dismiss me as just another guy, another bitter veteran who never gut any true success, but not any more. I’m a somebody in this sport now Matt, and I’m damned if I’m gonna let a mirror image if my younger self rip that away from me now. You claim that I don’t know what it is to work for success, that I’ve always had it at the snap of a finger.
Wrong, and very naïve.
Anyone naïve and dumb enough to believe that I’ve had anything handed to me obviously doesn’t know me that well. You say you know that it takes hard work, but you haven’t ever put in that hard work. You haven’t poured your blood, sweat and tears into this sport over the years in the same way that I have, and until you have, you’re in no position to judge.
Your promo did raise one question in my mind though, and I want to put it you right now. Who’s Gavin Payne? You spoke in your promo of ending his career, and I’d like to know just who he is? Maybe you’re harking your mind back to some past glory, trying to equate it with what you’re hoping against hope to be able to do to me on Saturday night. I neither know nor care who the fuck Gavin Payne may be now or may ever have been, but I’m pretty damn sure we could never hurt you in the way I will.
You talk so boldly of ending my career, of putting me in a hospital, but I can dismiss that as idle boasting. I dismiss that as the ranting of an over-eager rookie who is so desperate to push his way into the limelight at the expense of others that he will say things that he has no way of achieving, simply to try to grab headlines and spotlight. Only trouble is, if and when he gets that spotlight, he ends up blinded by it.
I mock you Matt simply because I can, simply because I know you can’t hurt me, and deep down, you know it too. Just like so many others before you, and no doubt many others who will come after you, you think that just saying these things will make everyone believe them, maybe one day you’ll learn the error of those ways.
The way I see it, unless you were born Cassius Marcellus Clay or Christian Robert Johnson, then you have no right to boast in such a way. Just like the other man I named, I boast because I know I can back it up when the time for talking is gone, whereas men like you boast and HOPE that you can back it up. That’s what will cost you on Saturday, the belief that you can’t be beaten, and the belief that your words will make up for all your other failings. I guess on Saturday, we’ll see whether you’re as good as you claim to be, or if you’re just another pretender, another man with oversized delusions of adequacy. I can see it in those lyin’ eyes of yours Matt, your bold words are as much to try to convince yourself of your ability to beat me as much as they are to try to convince anyone else. I’d say you’re failing on both counts. Until Saturday, Matt….
Cage swivels the chair around and returns his attention to the computer screen in front of him:
FADE2BLACK
I’ll never see any sight of heaven,
I’ll open your eyes
I’m the King of my World,
I’ll open your eyes,
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