IF YOU SMELL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKING
*The arena dims and the titantron lights up. Jim Ross, whom had been absent from his usual spot at the announcers table is seen sitting in a black vinyl chair. He is wearing his glasses, black over coat, nice red button up shirt, black slacks, and his trademark black hat. Jim is holding some papers in his hand.*
JR: Ladies and gentleman, I would like to thank you all for tuning in. I now have the opportunity to do something I don't get to do very often. I am going to be sitting down with a man who seems to be quickly rising to the top of the business. A man who is going to be a top contendor for the world championship. This man is considered by many to be the most electrifying man in sports entertainment. Folks in just seconds I will be talking with The Rock.
*The Rock walks onto the set and shakes hands with Jim Ross. The Rock is wearing some black slacks and one of his expensive silk shirts.*
JR: Welcome Rocky, sure is nice to have you here with us. Please go ahead and have a seat.
The Rock: Thank you Jimmy.
*The Rock sits down on the black leather couch.*
JR: First off how are you?
The Rock: The Rock's doing fine. How about yourself?
JR: I'm doing ok. The question on everybodies mind though is how are you physically feeling getting prepared for this world tournament.
The Rock: Well, The Rock won't lie to you, Stone Cold gave The Rock a run for his money, but The Rock is fine. One hundred and twenty percent ready to go.
JR: Speaking of which, Stone Cold, any thoughts or opinions about him being in this tournament and him as of last nights results being ranked higher than you for the most likely to win the tournament even though you just beat him?
The Rock: Actually, The Rock really doesn't care what some random poll says. You're right I beat him once, and I'll do it again just to prove everyone wrong. He wouldn't have so many votes if he wouldn't keep going back to the polls voting for himself. The Rock's not a cheater. That's all there is to it really, if he makes it to the finals and we go at it again, he'll give me a run for my money, but he will go down. The Rock can't worry about that right now he has Goldust to deal with.
JR: Yes, Goldust, you know he has already spoken with Ethan Vander the head journalist for Gold Weekly and they brought up an interesting point. Goldust has an unorthodox style of wrestling, probably un-like any known before. How do you feel about that, and how do you think you can combat that.
The Rock: Jim, The Rock says he can do all of his dancing, nipple touching, crotch grabbing, butt feeling moves he wants in the back. In the ring evertime he attempts something like that The Rock will just plant him on his candy @$$. There are no ifs ands or butts about it, The Rock is not going to sit there in the ring and let fairydust monkey around like some hot shot trying to be better than The Rock.
JR: Even Mr. Vander chose you to win this particular match.
The Rock: Well that comes as no surprise to The Rock. Of course, you have finger licking twinkle toes, and The Brahma Bull. You put the both of those in the ring, and who would you pick? It is a plain and simple answer, you pick The Brahma Bull, The Rock. You know it, I know it, hell even The World knows it. Goldust is just one of three that will go down in the tournament. One by One The Rock gets another victory, then another victory, and yet one more then The Rock is wearing the gold.
JR: You bring up some interesting points there. So what happens if you disappoint the fans, or the People as you would call them.
The Rock: Let me get one thing straight to you Jimmy, The Rock will never disappoint the fans. Win, lose, or draw, when The Rock goes out there night after night, he doesn't intend on disappointing the fans. The Rock will always come out there and put on one helluva show to be sure that they aren't disappointed when they see The Rock. The Rock can even make Goldust look good out there.
JR: Wednesday Warfare, you and Goldust one on one in the first round. Does first round mean anything to you?
The Rock: Hell yeah it means something to The Rock. It means step one. That's the first step to making it to the other rounds.
JR: Anything else?
The Rock: Yes, it means that The Rock was seen by the higher ups and they want The Rock to have a chance at proving why he is number one. Why they put someone in like fairy dust is beyond The Rock, but I guess The Rock needs some jabroni to pin in the ring.
JR: It is no secret that me and you have been friends for quite some time, and I've been there for you since you first got started in the business. Now here in the EWA, do you expect success?
The Rock: Do children expect easter eggs from the Easter Bunny? Of course The Rock is expecting success. The Rock knows he is good, The Rock knows he is d@mn good. That's why The Rock is in this tournament to prove just that.
JR: Interesting, how about Goldust and his only being able to work one show a week?
The Rock: That says right there that he doesn't deserve to be the champion. A world champion should be able to do show after show every night and day of the week and twice on Sundays. The Rock is ready to do that for his fans, but Goldust can't do that so who says he deserves the high honor of champion?
JR: You do realize that Goldust will try to play mind games both in and out of the ring. He is a master of mind games.
The Rock: He's also a master of monkey spanking, but that means nothing to The Rock. He can do all he wants, and rip apart Ethan Vander, but The Rock is not so easy to mess with. The Rock knows good and well what Goldust's intentions are, and the Rock is ready for anything he may bring to the plate. The Rock welcomes it.
JR: So the bell rings, what happens?
The Rock: The Rock takes those butterflies and shoves them down deep inside, sucks it up, and goes out there giving everything he has.
JR: Implying that you might be scared?
The Rock: No JR, don't confuse butterflies with fright. If you don't have butterflies in your stomach each and everytime you go out to that ring then you are in the wrong business. You have to have them, because everytime you walk out past that curtain immediately your life and your career is on the line. One wrong move, one mistake is all it takes to be put down and out for good. That's where those butterflies come from, but Goldust, he means nothing to The Rock. Fairy dust is too worried about touching is own crotch or lack there of one. The man prefers a heapin' helpin' of strudel over some fresh baked, nice, tasty, pie! No that's not a man, that's just a sick freak. The Rock doesn't deal well with sick freaks Jim. The Rock can't wait until Goldust gets in the ring so the Rock can enjoy whipping his candy @$$ all over the ring. You see Jimmy, goldust, he is a bad gimmick, not a wrestler, not a fighter, he is a lost homosexual who couldn't find a nice piece of pie so he settled for strudel. I know that you made a cook book JR, do you get anything when you mix Strudel and Strudel? No of course not. You end up with an un-needed mess. What Goldust really needs is a woman, someone to satisfy his tastes that's what the bizarre one really needs. Maybe The Rock will get a hold of the Godfather and buy one of the people's ho's so Goldust can go lollygag with a woman for the evening and get himself straightened out a bit.
JR: I guess that could be a solution from what you say. Goldust seems to be worried about the anti-Americans.
The Rock: Goldust needs to not worry or be scared of them. For those who are truly brave will never live in fear. See The Rock will handle the anti-americans if needed, but The Rock is more focused on whiping the floor with fairy dust.
JR: Goldust also took the time out to mention DDP.
The Rock: The Rock thinks Goldust and DDP would make a great couple. They both love each other so much. Well, re-phrase that, DDP likes himself, and Goldust likes himself. Though goldust takes it a bit far, noone needs to grab themselves that often un-less they need viagra. The rock may have to face DDP if he can get by Chyna, but The Rock really doubts that one. So after The Rock finishes with Goldust if DDP makes it to the next round he can just be step number two, but The Rock sees him losing to Chyna so she can be step number two for The Rock.
JR: Any last comments for Goldust whom I am sure is watching.
The Rock: Just Bring It!
JR: Well Rock, think you for your time, we can't wait to see you in the ring. You have a good day.
The Rock: You too Jimmy. The pleasure was all mine.
*The Rock makes one of his trademark smiles and stands up. He shakes hands with Jim Ross then walks off. The titantron fades.*
*The fans jump up out of their seats chearing as The Rock comes out from behind the curtain. The rock is wearing his Just Bring It sleevless shirt, and his black and white striped running pants. He stands on top of the ramp and looks around the crowd. He puts his hand on his chin listening to the cheers. The Rock walks down the rampway and steps up the steps. He stands on the ring apron looks around then steps in through the middle rope. The Rock gives Lilian Garcia a quick glance before he climbs up on the far turnuckle on the second rope. He smells the air as the fans chant "Rocky Rocky Rocky". The rock throws his hand out into the air then hops down and takes the microphone from Liliane Garcia. She exits the ring. The Rock's music stops playing and The Rock goes back to the middle of the Ring raising the microphone to his lips.*
The Rock: FINALLY......THE ROCK.....HAS RETURNED.....TO....THE PEOPLE! The Rock is here and he is ready and rearin' to go. All of you know this wednesday on warfare it is The Rock versus Goldust, one on one! The Rock just can't wait for Goldust to bring his fairy @$$ here, because he has to do, his only job, is to bring the @$$, because The Rock, he is going to bring the whoopin'! When Goldust and The Rock clash in the middle of this ring, it will be jabroni smackdown fest two thousand and two. The Rock will not hesitate to b!tch slap the punk @$$ b!tch right out of his gold painted clothes. You see when The Rock grew up, The Rock played with G. I. Joes, and army men. In Goldust's low rent neighborhood he probably get beating after beating by the school bully, because Goldust would bring his favorite toys to show and tell, he just couldn't figure out why the other boys did not like him and his barbie dolls. Mostly the never dressed Ken dolls he loved so much. Goldust, what in the world gives you the right to come out here to a wrestling federation and play kissy face with yourself? Whatever it is, is beyond The Rock, but The Rock will say this. When you step into the ring with The rock you had better not be expecting tongue action, you had better be ready for my hand upside your head, and my boot in your @$$!. When the Brahma bull gets in that ring it will not be time to play your mind games, oh no, it will be time to play put up or shut-up, and the Rock guaran-d@mn-tees you that you will be the one shutting up. No more funny funny ha ha jokes, no more playing pop the weasel with Ethan Vander oh no. The Rock's door doesn't swing that way Goldie. So when you want your life size antonio banderas blow up doll to come into play you just go back to your locker room and have a field day, but you see in the ring you are not just in any old match. No, you are in a match with the great one! That in its self makes your monkey @$$ famous! Not only that, but this match is a first round match for the tournament towards the world title. Winner goes on to face Chyna or Diamond Dallas Page, then from there goes onto the finals to be in a match for the world championship. The championship that means un-doubtedly you are the number one superstar in the federation and world of sports entertainment today! The place that rightfully belongs to The Rock! That right there tells you that you don't have a chance in hell to pull a win out of your magic hat of tricks. So take your tricks and pull them on the dog, or keep on whining about top and bottom with Mr. Vander. The Rock is going to teach you a lesson. How to pull your head out of your @$$ then shove it back up there straightening your crooked @$$ out! The Rock would call you a candy @$$, but then you probably go around licking yourself. It is apparent to everyone out there that you are about six cans short of a six pack. Not only is it not all there, there is nothing there. So Goldust has a handicap going into the match with The Rock. IT DOESN'T MATTER! The Rock has no prejudice on who gets their @$$ whipped next. One by d@mn one, by d@mn one is what will be heard as the referee keeps slamming that hand to the mat counting you down and out. It is no hidden fact that The Rock doesn't like you, The Rock doesn't like the way your act, and The Rock doesn't like your sexual preferences. What The Rock does like is the fact that you haven't ran and rather intend on still coming all of the way back out here to this very ring and preparing yourself for the beating of the life time at the hands of The rock. Maybe it is just the electricity, maybe you just smell what the Rock is cooking, and maybe just maybe, no not what you are thinking, maybe it is because if you don't come out here and bring your butt so The Rock can kick it then you won't get your pay check! Goldenboy, Goldmember, Fairydust, whoever in the hell you are. The Rock hopes you have good insurance so that when you go home a cryin', because you can't beat The Rock you might be able to get some money out of the insurance companies to kiss your boo-boo's for you. Boo-Hoo! Now Goldust, shhhhhh, listen, hear the People, they are chanting the Great One's Name....
Crowd: ROCKY ROCKY ROCKY!
The Rock: The Rock has one question for Goldust. Do you like...pancakes? Nice, soft, fluffy, drenched with butter and syrup? Good, The rock hopes that you like your pancakes, because you need to take those pancakes you like, stick a fork in the top of the stack, take them down to Chicago, where you can proceed to go about your business and stick those pancakes straight up your candy @$$ just how you like everything else put away! Now The Rock heard what you had to say. What was that, you think the Rock is scared of you, that he might fear you? Let us get this straight, you, me, fear. The Rock is not scared, does not fear, and is not intimidated by the likes of you! You think I lack intimidation factors? IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK THE ROCK LACKS! If the Rock started naming off everything that you lacked we would be here all of the every lovin' day, night, and through next week! The Rock simply doesn't care if he doesn't scare you, that's not The Rock's goal! The Rock's goal is to get you in the ring and beat you just like you deserve to be then advance to the next round and just keep kicking @$$es as they are thrown at The Rock. Stone Cold was the first, and you will be the second one to fall Fairy Dust. Maybe the like for other men and playtoys is a compensation, for a lack of your own manhood? Could that be part of your problem? You claim that you play mindgames, well Hi-Ho Cherry-O, and Candyland type games just are not going to get the Job done with The Rock, and The Rock is sorry that disappoints you, but The Rock was never out here to entertain you anyways! The reason The Rock is even here is because of, The People! It wasn't Jack Parky, Eric Bischoff, or Vince McMahon who made the Rock, it was only, The people! The Rock will be out here giving two hundred percent of possible to make sure the people get exactly what they came and paid to see. They paid good money to see The Rock advance in the tournament. They didn't pay their hard earned cash to watch Fairydust playing with his nipples in the middle of the ring trying to excite himself in other ways because the Viagra just isn't doing it for him any longer. What The Rock wants to know is where did you find time for wrestling, I mean in between all of the time you spend playing strain the strudel, and watching movie after movie sitting on your Golden butt you could not have possible been able to get yourself ready for this match. Oh mabye you are trying to be like your pops is that what it is? Trying to become like the legendary Dusty Rhodes? The fat guy who can't walk, and just wobbles around like a penguin missing its head? The Rock's legacy started with the late great High Cheif Peter Maivia, then continued on with the man Rocky Johnson, and is now going on with the most electrifying man in sports entertainment today, THE ROCK! Not Goldust, The Rock! Listen up, me, not you! Glitter face, you may paint yourself gold, but you have no idea, NO IDEA! What it takes to be a champion and wear the real gold. You can't even fight twice a week, your pansy @$$ can only go once a week, that right there says, no Mr. Rocky I can not go on please whip my @$$ so I can go home and wait another week. You deserve nothing fighting once a week. When you were working at McDonald's did they say ok you can work Wednesday nights only and then you are done for the week. Hell no, The Rock knows better than that. If you can't hang with the best in the business then you need to pack up and go home, because you shouldn't even be in the industry. The Rock is ready and willing to go night after night, non-stop until his career is over. It is all about committment, something you Goldie Haun know nothing about. When we are in The ring The Rock will be sure to layeth the smacketh downeth on your sorry @$$ if that is what it will take to shut you up. Round one, cross out Goldust and advance The Rock right now, because that is how it will end when I make sure you hit Rock Bottom and are pinned one...two...three! Let me leave you with these final words, You will never, ever be able to forget the name of sssssssss.....mmmmmmmm....*Chomps teeth snapping at the crowd* The Rock! IF YA SMELLLLALALALALAOW...WHAT THE ROCK....IS COOKIN'!
*The Rock's music hits again as The Rock throws the microphone to the outside of the ring. It lands at Lilian's feet, then The Rock proceeds to climb back up on the turnbuckle. The blue colored lights shine down on him as he smells the air once again listening to the fans chant his name. After throwing his arm up in the air he climbs back down and steps through the ropes. The Rock climbs down to the arena floor then slowly makes his way back up the rampway. The Rock stands on top of the ramp and turns around one last time. He throws his hand in the air again then raises the People's Eyebrow. The girls scream louder and The Rock turns around heading backstage. The Rock's music fades and the fans keep cheering for a few moments before returning to their seats.*
OOC: I think I'm getting better with The Rock.
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