Role Play Background: Degenerate is kind of bummed about not holding gold any longer, he was kind of getting used to the feeling, but he bounces back as he prepares to allow Jobbelus Jobber one more Job, and gets ready to earn a back up extreme title shot...since he already holds one...
*Degenerate is sitting at a work out bench lifting some free weights. The camera focuses in on ol' D as he pumps away. Beads of sweat drip down, but the unique fellow that is Degenerate looks more determined than ever. He looks up seeing the camera and sets down the weights. He grabs a towel and whipes off the sweat then says a few words.*
Degenerate:
Slayer of life, player of dice, jobber of life, painted face of death, painted face of jobbness, Jobbelus Jobber, you know the usual nicknames. Maybe they wouldn't follow true with you...if you didn't allow them to stand true... Angelus, look man, let ol' D here give ya some advice. Jack, you need to clean yourself up a bit. The whole psycho cereal killa, I'm Count Chocula's big daddy thrilla, just isn't going to cut it. The chicks just don't dig scrawny clown guys. They're into the scrawny pale guys now. The whole make-up bit, it just scares them off when you where four times as much as they do. Then you have to look for your intimidation factor. Hate to break it to you, but you don't even scare Gillberg. Hell he jumps around like his usual ape self if he knows your going to be in the building, you delight gillberg. The sh!tlocks, the leather, any guy around here when done laughing would think you belong in Michael Jackson's "Thriller" video. Just an eighties boy trapped in a modern age world. Look man you work on cleaning yourself up and we'll see what we can't work with, but right now, there's not a whole lot that we can. Past your looks which is the best thing you have going for you unfortunately is your in ring quote un-quote skills. Who trained you, Barry Harrowitz? Come on Angelus, let's see it, the self high five. Give us one for old time sakes, you know the fans really want to see it.
Oh man, now that's funny. See that's what I'm talking about, your like the muppet show, you're just entertaining. Not scary, or spooky. Get real. We all know you aren't some real killer, you wouldn't be showing your face......wait a minute a-ha...a-hahaha....uh...ok so you got me there. You do hide your face, but no dumb @$$ criminal is going to walk on public television, in highly guarded arenas and say look I killed people but I'm going to stand out in the open. Oh but that's right, you weren't killing people you were picking on hobo's. Not even the real deal hulk hobo, just regular bums. They aren't any fun. Bet you feel nice and strong, good and pumped. Like anyone bought the whole I tore this hobo's skin off and added it to my belt. I saw that crap when you did that to the Attitude Internet Title after losing it...AGAIN! We're more likely to believe Mae Young gave birth to a rubber hand. So you can keep on raping Fred and Barney, or pulling some *cough* *cough* tricks with the silly rabbit. We know that you are all about the Fruit Loops with your colorful friend Toucan Sam. When you're done with all of them and you finally feel that you have completed something in your life then please by all means get in the ring, because we all need someone train with. Someone to throw around so that we don't get incredibly bored when it comes time for the match. Don't make me yawn...oh wait...too late.
So it comes down to the extreme championship. Way I see it, to get a shot I don't even need to win it, because I already earned one shot at the Extreme Championship, so I may be fighting at this level for a while. Once I've whipped you and I will be holding on to two extreme title shots, plus when I win it after using only one of those I'm pretty much set off. I was told upon my return that it was still good, since a car wreck isn't my fault. I've been looking to put a hurt down on someone, because it really seems that lately, I've been sick a lot, but I am pretty sure I got over that flu virus. It took a while, but I'm back and I'm ready to go, ready to flow, ready to show,that the world just lacks something without the one, the only, Degenerate. It 'tiz I that causes the controversy, it 'tiz I that turns the heads. You my boy Angelus, you are the one that lies down on the mat, because you must like having guys cover you. Maybe they'll pretend you're stuffed in a gigantic bowl, covered in milk as you show off your sweet side you cereal thrilla you. Oh dude, you just don't understand how hilarious you are, and the best part is, is that you are trying to be scary. Oh that's a real kicker. I do plan on however welcoming you to my party, because boy this isn't juggalo land, this isn't the dark carnival, the six jokers cards are down, and there is no plague, no death, no destruction, Carnival of Carnage, Ringmaster, Riddlebox, The Great Malenko, The Amazing Jeckyl Brothers, and the Wraith..... your boys are down, but you aren't taking me to the mother lovin' echo side.
Did we miss the train? Did they leave without us? What happened? Oh, guess that means that your world is gone, and it's time for the Extreme Days. You haven't seen a d@mn thing until you've seen me at my best, and you can be sure cheerio, that I'm going to be bending the rules of reality. It's time for you to step out of your little box, and your comfort zone, because since the ring psychology isn't working you have to rely on the skills, but I'm like lightening boy, I'm just going to strike you fast, without warning, and you can be d@mn sure I'm going to hurt like a motha...we'll leave it at that. I'm ready to throw it all on the line, because I don't care what happens to my body any more, I'm tired of being pushed around, and even when @$$holes like you think they are going nuts go and powerbomb me off stages, or try to enforcinate me, I'm just going to keep on bouncing back, because I'm a crazy mother lover...no seriously I love your mom dude. She isn't dead, she's living off insurance. The whole church thing was a nice cover up...like anyone just leaves a church with bodies, how much did those cost you back in the day....you know what I just realized? I'm fighting a dead man, you died a while back didn't you? Oh that's right the big conspiracy with Lita. I should probably call in Ghost busters...nah. I'm going to do things my own, and if you like the pain, well I'm going to bring it. AND IF YOU'RE NOT DOWN WITH THAT I'VE GOT....9 WORDS FOR YA!!!!! You're a jobber anyways, so what does it matter?
*Degenerate just rolls his eyes laughing to himself as he picks up a larger sized weight and gets back to work and the camera fades.*
*"Without Me" starts blaring across the sound system as Degenerate comes out from behind the curtain to the sound of cheering fans. He is holding and microphone and wearing a large chain around his neck, a St. Louis Rams jersey, and has on a backwards fitted ballcap with the logo for the St. Louis Cardinals on it. He motions his hands to have his music cut.*
Degenerate:
Alright everyone, pipe down. D has a message to deliver, here we go.
Angelus Archer, he's our jobber
known as the big bad cerial mobber
straight out the box come the frosted flakes,
morning breakfast is where he makes his dates,
stealing the lucky charms that's his fix,
silly rabbit, dicks are for chicks,
that's right he's crazy and rapes 'em for his mix,
blood of the rubbles is what he licks,
down with those pebbles he says in a flash,
but down to the mat he goes with a splash,
he's boring, and dull, the king of the morning mob,
and night after night, he continues to job,
PEACE I'M OUTTA HERE!
*Degenerate throws the microphone into the crowd and throws his arms up in the air then crosses them across his chest with the peace sign then heads out to the back with his music blaring and the fans still going. Camera fades as Degenerate disappears.*
|
