STRAIGHT EDGE
Singles
0-0-0
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Tag Team
0-2-0
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*CM Punk comes down to the ring as "Miseria Cantare" plays. He rolls into the ring and throws his arms up in an "X" then gets a mic.*
CM Punk: You know what everyone? It’s time that CM Punk takes a stand. I haven’t had great tag team luck as of late, but I plan on making a lot of things change in this Rumble. Especially when I send myself on to the elimination chamber and win the most coveted strap of all. I will show everyone what straight edge is. I’ll just go down the line, like with Assassin. He stands no legit chance with me in the ring, Assassin is just some b!tch who is about to get taught how brutal throwing so many people in the ring at one time can be and what I will have to do to the poor guy in the end. Kaedon is another one. Kaedon keeps trying to branch of and make something of himself, but Kaedon is nothing to me. Kaedon just couldn’t cut it if he really wanted to. He’s about a joke and a half, but at least Kaedon isn’t as much of a joke as Jarred Carthallion. Now there’s a joke that shouldn’t be allowed in the ring. Jarred, don’t quit your day job, never mind you couldn’t quit doing any “job” if you wanted to. Jarred why do you bother us with your humor of trying to make a return. It’s so laughable it’s almost not funny anymore. And Taz, ooh I bet you hate me. Taz is a big bad @$$ I tell you. Taz you sorry loser, you’re luck you made it as far as you did in the tag team tournament, just know if I would have ever gotten the chance to fight you, I would have beat the holy sh!t out of you. Just like I would to The Badd Boy. Tony Ikeda is here and he’s out promoting his glory hogging Ikedaism. Bore us to death why don’t you? Somebody get Tony Ikeda out of this, he doesn’t deserve the chance for this match. He’s a has been, a never was, and one lucky son of a b!tch the past weeks. But then we have people like The Rock. I’m sorry I didn’t realize Mr. Hollywood still remembered how to wrestle. How am I supposed to take you seriously Rocky? You know and I know that you are a joke and you’ll be out of this tournament very quick. So with Josh Hanley, I don’t know who in the f@ck you are, and I really don’t give a sh!t. There are a ton of kids like you who try to step up to the game and be big bad men and show off for everyone, but you’re just another b!tch for me to throw out of the ring here at Dark Horizon! And Chris Benoit is older than f@ck. Benoit, you are the washed up has been of has beens. What in the hell are you trying to prove in the ring? Do us a favor and don’t come, because none of us what to see you fighting through that match. Good God that would just be embarrassing. Then again nothing could be more embarrassing than the other lesser of the Ikeda’s. Wes, oh geeze, please don’t tell me he actually signed up for this. Like he’s anything special. He’s just lucky I haven’t gotten him in a one on one. I’d teach his cocky @$$ a lesson, that’s for d@mn sure. Prophecy, what in the hell kind of prophecy are you supposed to be making exactly? I know you sure as hell aren’t fulfilling one, because I’ve never read anywhere about a prophecy about a man in a wrestling ring getting the sh!t kicked out of him. Move along kid. From kid to the oldest f@cking geezer in the match Eric Bischoff. What in the hell are you doing? Are you trying to break a hip there old man? It sure as hell seems like it. You can’t keep up in this kind of match, it’ll be over before you walk your old @$$ down to the ring. Get real Eric. Now Barbwire Chris is a real man who will make an impact in this match. Chris, just know I’ve got your back, and I hope you have mine. We’ll eliminate those Ikeda b!tches and then we’ll go to the elimination chamber and show the other four b!tches what gore core is all about! It sure as hell isn’t about Kane. Kane even I had to stand back and think about how stupid you are when you talked about The Ikeda’s. I hate them, but if homosexuals and burning bears and setting your roof on fire is all you’ve got? Then you sure as hell aren’t a worry to me in this match up. Mordecai, what in the f@ck is your deal? I’m still working on trying to figure that one out. You are a talentless b@stard who lacks everything and talks to the voices in his head. Yeah, you’re going to go far buddy, the far fall from the top rope to the mat at the bottom. About the same fall Edge will get, because I’m no edge head and I’ll see to it he doesn’t get anywhere. All of the people who think they are something in this match will fail, and I will be in the top six on my way towards gold!
*CM Punk throws his arms up into an "X" and climbs out of the ring. He walks back up the ramp and disappears behind the curtain.*
OOC: No OOC Message.
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