Chaotic Carnage & Destruction
AUSTIN 3:16
*Michael Cole is shown in the parking lot holding a microphone.*
Cole: Well J.R., and King we are awaiting the arrival of one Stone Cold Steve Austin. We are expecting the rattlesnake to show up some time this evening, but I am sure as you both know there is no predicting when Austin will arrive. Back to you.
*The Camera goes back to Jim Ross with Jerry "The King" Lawler.*
JR: Well King I sure hope the Texas Rattlesnake shows up here tonight, I am expecting him to be very pissed off. We haven't seen him since the day we found out Rikishi was driving the other vehicle that wrecked into Stone Cold's limo.
King: I don't know about you JR, but I personally don't want the Rattlesnake here tonight because there's no telling who he will strike next.
JR: You are very right King, he is un-predictable. The question that has to be on everyone's minds has to be where has he been? Where has Stone Cold been?
King: And more importantly where has his wife's Debra's puppies been? I'm thinking about sending out some lost puppie posters.
JR: And maybe I should send out some lost mind reports for you. I swear you need to be locked up.
King: Hey hey, don't be getting off the issue.
JR: Hold on King I'm being told something is happening in the back.
*The camera goes back to the parking lot area where only headlights can be seen coming and not stopping at the security gate, the vehicle smashes right through the gate.*
JR: What in the hell is going on King?
King: I don't know but that doesn't look like any ordinary truck.
JR: For once you are right King, that's A MONSTER TRUCK!
*The Truck stops in the middle of the parking lot. It's a black truck with a large white smoking skull emblem on the front hood, and STONE COLD written on the sides in white lettering.*
JR: IT'S STONE COLD! IT HAS TO BE!
*Stone Cold Steve Austin jumps out of the driver's side of the truck while Debra gets out of the passenger's side. Stone Cold obviously looking p!ssed is in his jeans and a T-Shirt that says WHAT? on the front with a smoking skull on the back. He grabs Debra's hand pulling her with him so she keeps up with him. Michael Cole tries to stop him.*
Cole: Austin, can I just get a word with you for a moment?
Stone Cold: Get the hell out of my way!
*Austin pushes Cole out of the way and keeps on walking right into the arena. He goes straight to the locker room marked for him.*
Stone Cold: Debra you go in there and wait, I will be back right now I have a fat fish to fry and I am going to find that sorry son of a b!tch!
*Stone Cold storms back down into the hallway.*
Stone Cold: Rikishi, I know your fat @$$ is around here somewhere, when I find you your @$$ is had boy!
*Stone Cold continues pacing up and down the hallways looking in locker rooms, and rest rooms trying to find Rikishi or Haku. The Coach Jonathan Coachman tries to approach Stone Cold.*
Coach: Stone Cold, I just want to know if I could get a few words from you and talk to you about....
Stone Cold: Listen Jack@$$ when I feel like talking the world will know!
JR: Oh Stone Cold doesn't look happy King, I pray to God that Rikishi isn't here yet or he stays out of Stone Cold's way.
King: I hope you are right JR, Stone Cold is ready to hurt someone.
*After a few moments everything quiets down in the arena and the fans are sitting in their seats waiting for some type of excitement.*
*Immediately the fans rise to their seats shouting for the all but forgotten Stone Cold Steve Austin.*
*Austin's music plays as he steps out from behind the curtain walking straight down the ramp with a Stone Cold attitude and not waisting anytime. He immediately walks around the ring straight to where LiLiane Garcia is sitting next to the time keeper. He yanks the microphone right out of her hands and he steps up on the ring apron and into the ring. he gets up on one corner throwing both arms in the air in his usual fashion before repeating the same process on the next three turnbuckles. The music stops and Stone Cold Steve Austin steps back into the middle of the ring raising the microphone to his mouth while the fans sit down and listen intensely to what Stone Cold has to say.*
Stone Cold: Now everyone, just hush up for a second, Stone Cold has some things he needs to get off his chest. Some very large things. First off you haven't seen Stone Cold in action since the night I whipped Y2J's @$$ for the third time straight because evidentally management around here hasn't felt that it was important to book Stone Cold or any member of CCD. Stone Cold really doesn't give a d@mn because what it all boils down to right now is the fact that Rikishi, the son of a b!tch wearing my gold which I did not lose, but had to give up because that fat piece of trash thought it would be good for him to slam into my limo hurtin' me, The Rock, Debra, and Chyna. Then Shane McMahon forced me to give it up and in the end Rikishi some how comes away with it. If you ask me I think it was one giant conspiracy. Oh yeah Rikishi takes out CCD, Rikishi comes up with the championship, Rikishi talks the person in charge into suspending The Rock at the first sign of trouble. Rikishi your weight gets thrown about quite a bit don't you think? You may be the fattest S-O-B of this federation but I am the world's toughest son of a b!tch, and that's not just another nickname it just happens to be true. You are a bad man, but I am a bad mother f*ck*r! I will sure as hell make sure you pay for all of the trouble you have been causing. You have my belt, you were the cause of some injuries to my friends, and you were the reason behind the suspension of The Rock. You have been walking around smiling, and being happy, but Stone Cold isn't playing Mr. Nice Guy and you will be lined up just like the rest of the people who have crossed my path, you will pay the price and that's one large Rikishi's @$$ sized can of whoop-@$$! As Shane McMahon's father Vince McMahon said one day, I will have to react in a Physical and Violent way showing Ruthless Aggression. What that means is that you will be losing your little title and your time of dancing around and enjoying yourself will be ending real fast. I have been busting my @$$ around here, and time after time again Stone Cold keeps getting screwed. If you must know I'm p!ssed off! Why don't you go ask Triple H, the last thing you want is a pissed off rattesnake. This isn't time to play games you have something you don't deserve and that I want, and I will be sure that I get it back. Rikishi I'm not sure where exactly you went to school from but it sure as hell wasn't Stone Cold University, where you would have learned as part of the class of three sixteen, in whoop-@$$ class of 101 that you don't tempt a rattlesnake to see if he will bite. Most likely if you mess with this rattlesnake, friend or foe, your @$$ will get bit! You obviously thought that Stone Cold doesn't have what it takes in him to do what needs to be done with you, but for years people have thought that Stone Cold couldn't do it and I'm not blowing smoke up your @$$, I will prove every single person wrong. I have already had me a few beers, this venom is one hundred percent alcohol fueled, and the Rattlesnake is ready to raise himself a whole lot of hell! Rikishi when I look at you I see a big piece of crap so why don't you just go flush yourself down the cammode! Now this isn't a race thing, this isn't a color thing, this is a me kicking your @$$ thing! Whether it is your backyard, my backyard or any of these people's backyard I will beat you plain and simple! Since you already have the fat @$$ of the year award, I think you also deserve the jack@$$ of the year award! No matter how many times your fat @$$ gets up I will keep knocking you down, pin you, one two three, the belt is mine. The day you rammed into my Limo is the day you decided that you were going to try and grow a set of balls by looking at Stone Cold Steve Austin's beady little eyes so you can look right into the face of the man that will be sure to beat you from pillar to post, and up and down every aisle of the arena. When you messed with me you signed the papers and sealed the deal, now your @$$ officially belongs to Steve Austin. You will have to literally kill me to keep me from extracting my revenge. You need all of the help you can get, the world knows you couldn't do it on your own. Here is your bottom line Rikishi, bravo, you made yourself famous. Now you have an angry rattlesnake, you are going to be put on your back, you will be counted out, and Stone Cold will be the world champ. It may not stop there, I will not be happy until I feel I have had enough of you after your little stunt, taking my belt, and doing what you did to The Rock. D@mn Stone Cold needs a beer. Who has an ice cold beer for Steve Austin?
*A beer is tossed to Stone Cold. He pops the top and quickly downs it.*
Stone Cold: That's better, then come to find out The Heart Break Kid is being thrown into this match. Now this had to have been Shane's bright idea to stick a member of Degeneration-X in this match putting Shawn Michaels' nose where it usually is, where it doesn't belong. I might as well paint a bullseye on his @$$ and kick him around the building. Shawn, frankly, you suck. I can't wait to put this foot in your @$$ and there won't be a d@mned thing you can do about it. Ya silly b@st@rd, I know you will be checking your pager when it starts beeping, and you pick it up and look at it just in time to see the three one six, your butt is had. In case you aren't quite getting this yet, for the hearing impaired Stone Cold is a man of many talents and even knows a bit of sign language. *Stone Cold holds up his two middle fingers.* What you did Michaels is you stepped into my ring, which is stepping into my office, where I have no problems beating your @$$! Now professionally I think that you are a great superstar, but personally, I think you are a piece of trash. You need to suck it up, take your beating like a man, come visit uncle Stone Cold, who will drop you on your chin like a stack of dimes, and knock your d@mn lights out. You tell everyone that you don't lie down for anybody, well you keep getting up, well I will knock your @$$ down if you won't lie down. Your partner Hunter couldn't get the job done, and it is no hidden fact that D-X does not have the greatest history with CCD especially with CCD always stomping mudholes and walking them dry. The only reason you are in this match is because you are all buddy buddy with the president and you kissed his @$$ enough to put you in this match giving you a title shot which you don't deserve. Un-less they are handing away title shots for people sitting on their rears which would be news to me, because I was forced to do so by Rikishi and nothing was handed to me, I had to go out and earn my shot even though to this day I should still be champion. So Shawn I guess you need to learn the lesson that just like every other SOB in this federation you need to step back and earn your shots, while not taking hand-me-downs from people like Shane, because D-X can't stand not having the most prestigious gold in the federation. Degeneration-X is weak and all of you know it, but you refuse to admit it, and only by throwing you in this match, do they have a chance to regain the world championship, while not having to defend the IC or the tag team championships. If you ask me Michaels, and the rest of your group is just a pack of pussies to me. I hope you are listening very closely, I know you aren't quite used to main event status, but what you will find is that when you hear the glass, you better run or it is your @$$! Now you can come out here singing and dancing to your little songs. You can have all of the fancy pyrotechnics you feel you need. Hell son you can even sit here and call yourself all of your nicknames, show stopper, wannabe main eventer, cry baby, use all of them you have. The difference between Shawn Michaels and Stone Cold is that all of Michaels' nicknames are self-proclaimed ego boosting nicknames, and all of the ones for Stone Cold Steve Austin are true to life nicknames that weren't thought up by some fancy writers, but brought around by earning them. There are reasons that I am Called Stone Cold, The Texas Rattlesnake, and the toughest son of a b!tch in the IXWF. That's because I haven't been dancing around making friends with the owners, oh hell no, Stone Cold has been time and time again busting his @$$ through screwjob after screwjob just to continually prove that he is the best d@mn superstar in this federation. It's too bad I can't say the same for you. Since you are in the match however just because you didn't earn it doesn't mean you are exempt from @$$ whoopin's so you will get exactly what you earned. Nothing but a swift kick in the @$$! When in front of twenty thousand fans Stone Cold is reigning victorious over you, then maybe you will get a clue. I am sure you have all of your buddies in the back just waiting to jump me, because that's what you are always wanting to do since you can't fight for yourself. So Stone cold has taken upon his-self the responsability of stopping that BS before it starts. That's why I want Earl Hebner the referee to come down to the ring. Come on Earl I don't have all day.
*After a few moments of Stone Cold standing in the ring, IXWF senior referee Earl Hebner makes his way down to the ring to where Stone Cold requested he came. He stands in his black slacks and black and white striped referee T-Shirt in the middle of the ring with Stone Cold.*
Stone Cold: Let me get this straight you are the senior referee, the big man of the Zebra's, and you will be the one refereeing the main event at Vengeance with me Rikishi, and HBK for the world championship correct?
Earl: Yes sir.
Stone Cold: Now that we have that cleared up, let me make sure you understand one thing. Stone Cold is not leaving without the championship. Now if Haku, D-X, or anybody back there tries to screw Stone Cold out of getting his belt back you had better take care of it. Do I have your word?
Earl: Sometimes things get out of hand Mr. Austin.
Stone Cold: Sometimes my @$$! All I have got to say is if you screw me your @$$ is mine. Now if you do what I tell you to and make sure noone screws Stone Cold Shane might fire you, but you can always find another job. Any other promotion will hire you, but if you allow me to get screwed, then I will take care of you personally. You can always get another job, but you can't repair what I will do to you if I get screwed. Do you understand that?
Earl: Yes Mr. Austin.
Stone Cold: Good now get going before you p!$$ me off too.
*Earl Hebner nods in agreement and hurridly exits the ring.*
Stone Cold: I don't give a rats @$$ what any of the boys in the back think, Stone Cold will get his belt back, and I will keep going and going until I am ready to hang it up. Stone Cold still has quite a few years in him so don't look for that happening anytime soon. I am sure beyond the shadow of a doubt that I will win at Vengeance. I know d@mn good and well that people are gunning for me. I won't just allow anyone to come hit me, I strike first, because I will do unto others before they can do unto me! This is do or die time, and I will keep fighting with whatever I have left in me. I would have thought by now that by this time both of these boys would have learned that provoking the rattlesnake is something you just don't do. You can bet your last dollar, that this beer swilling, hand gesturing, foul mouthed bionic redneck will go through hell if needed and do everything the hardway to put every superstar in their place. I have put the blood, the sweat, and the tears into this business earning my way up to the top. I have not been knocked off the top of the ladder fairly yet, because each and everytime I get there somebody screws it up. To be honost I am tired of playing the monkey chases the weasel with all of these kiddies. I will be a die hard stubborn prick before I let any of those boys that don't know which shoe goes on which foot let alone how to hold a championship respectfully become the winner. I am sick and tired of this place being turned to a load of crap, because people know where to kiss @$$ and where to spend their money. If you want to put your lips somewhere, ol' Stone Cold has a certain part of his anatomy that you could pucker up and put your lips on, because as of right now it's about all you really deserve. As you can see, you can't keep me down, many have tried over the past months, but no matter what you do to Stone Cold, it never works, because this son of a b!tch just doesn't stay down no matter how many times you kick him. When Austin 3:16 first got introduced telling everyone that Austin just whipped their @$$es it was not just some good catch phrase it is really what was happening. I was the first world champion of the four that we have had so far, and to this point I am the only one who actually deserved the title what-so-ever. Triple H, he didn't deserve it that was proved when I beat his cocky @$$, then Angle got it, and lost it immediately to Rikishi. What a d@mned coincidence that, that event right there took place when Stone Cold was forced to vacate the belt due to injuries caused by Rikishi. You don't do anything to me that my cost me my goals, and you sure as hell don't do anything to me, that insues that you think Stone Cold can't do it, because the second you think that I get motivated to be sure that I will in fact accomplish whatever needs to be accomplished. I'm not just fighting to regain my world championship, but for my fellow members of CCD who had to sit through the injuries caused by Rikishi's little plan. On behalf of Chyna, the suspended Rock, myself, and my wife Debra I am looking to cause of injuries to others. I won't be happy until both Rikishi and HBK are beaten within an inch of their life where I will leave their bodies to just lie in the ring and gather dust. It's about all they are good for anyway. Whether it is fat man, or Mr. flamboyancy, Mr. Resiliant, I don't care either one will do once I can get my hands around their necks and just kick the tar out of them. That sounds like a good ol' party to Stone Cold. We can play beat the face of the jack@$$, and since both of them look like @$$es we don't have to pick one or the other rather just beat both of them down giving them exactly what they earned, and that's nothing. Then the fans no longer have to look in the ring and figure out who paid who off to get the gold, but they will see it back around the waist of Stone Cold Steve Austin and they will see a man not afraid to bust his @$$ every night to keep a hold of the world championship. I know the pain just comes with the business, you have to take it and move on. How much pain I have to take I will dish out twice as much. Hell no, I will dish it out one hundred fold to be sure whoever had to take it, will remember you don't mess with Stone Cold Steve Austin! If all of you want to see Stone Cold beat the hell out of Rikishi and Michaels give me a hell yeah.
Crowd: HELL YEAH!
Stone Cold: WHAT?!
Crowd: HELL YEAH!
Stone Cold: WHAT?!
Crowd: HELL YEAH!
Stone Cold: WHAT?!
Crowd: OH HELL YEAH!
Stone Cold: That's what I thought. In case Rikishi or Michaels didn't catch that, you just heard twenty thousand fans saying that Stone Cold is going to whip your sorry @$$es around the ring. Shawn you and D-X should know by now to stay away from Stone Cold, but I will teach you that one last time by snapping your scrawny neck. Michaels I heard your comment that you want no re-matches for a month. Hell no I won't agree, because what that sounds like to me is if you pull some bull sh!t win out of your magic little top hat then you get to have your butt covered for a month. I don't care who wants a re-match I'll knock down every opponent I have to, time and time again to make sure the sorry SOB stays down. One thing Stone Cold is not is scared. I don't care who wants a piece of the rattlesnake, to be honost I know everyone wants a piece especially when I get a hold of the gold. Break them all on, one by one by d@mn one everyone will fall victim to Stone Cold. You sure as hell can't call me racist or biased, because Stone Cold is an equal opportunity @$$ whooper! Whether it's Huntner, Michaels, Rikishi, Jericho, hell anybody in the back. Stone Cold will keep whoopin' @$$ until I decide that I am done. You won't get that satisfaction for a long time and that's guarad@mnteed! You can take your little "deal" as you want to call it and stick it up your @$$, because I'm not going to let you run around like the little chicken sh!t you are, because you know that your @$$ belongs to Steve Austin and there's not a d@mned thing you can do about it. Same thing with Rikishi, when I beat his @$$ if he wants to come get him a re-match I say bring it on, I don't care, I'll run his @$$ over again. When those fans are out there watching the events, they are expecting to see one hell of a match. So if that is beating your sorry @$$es then so be it I'll do it. Go home and drink my d@mn beer afterwards and say "D@mn that was one hell of an @$$ whippin' party. I love being the host of those!" Rikishi, you will learn that you don't mess with Stone Cold, you don't mess with Stone Cold's friends, and you sure as hell don't touch Stone Cold's gold. When I stomp your fat @$$ and Michaels' Scrawny @$$, I will drop both of you on your chins and put you down 1...2...3! Stone Cold is the champion once again. AND THAT'S THE BOTTOM.....no wait, not yet, I'm not through yet!
*Stone Cold throws down the microphone while the music plays once again. He steps out of the ring with the sound of cheering fans in the background. He grabs a nearby cameraman by the shirt.*
Stone Cold: You are coming with me!
*The camera follows Stone Cold to the back parking lot area where Stone Cold pulls a set of keys out of his pocket.*
Stone Cold: Rikishi, I know your fat @$$ is here somewhere, I couldn't find where you were hiding earlier, but I'll be d@mn sure you aren't leaving this place before I get my hands on you.
*Stone Cold climbs up into his Stone Cold Monster truck and drives it down to a limo that is parked in the back. The license plates say "RIKISHI" Stone Cold revs up the engine a couple of times the takes off driving over the limo smashing the top in, then putting it in revearse to go back over the limo. Stone Cold does this a couple of times to insure damage. He parks the truck with the front wheels resting on top of the flattened vehicle as he turns it off and hops down.*
Stone Cold: Oh hell no, eh-EH! Stone Cold isn't done yet! I wasn't planning on HBK one of the D-X bastards to be in this match, but Stone Cold isn't putting up with D-X anymore. I already whipped Hunter's sorry @$$, so HBK is just next on the list. Stone Cold always has a back-up plan. I want to make sure Michaels doesn't intend on going anywhere either.
*Stone Cold pulls the camera off of the camera man's shoulders and puts it on his own.*
Stone Cold: Welcome to channel 3:16, the whoop-@$$ channel!
*Stone Cold walks to another part of the parking lot where the other members of CCD are around.*
JR: Oh my gosh King, it's CCD all together and I think that's D-X's limo.
King: JR, remind me not to get on Stone Cold's bad side.
*Chyna weilding a sledgehammer smashes in the front windsheild of the limo. The Undertaker pulls out his pocket knife and slits all four tires. Chyna takes her sledgehammer beating in the rims of the tires and the rest of the windows. She picks up a crowbar and pries open the hood. She drops the crowbar back down and picks the sledgehammer back up. Chyna takes the sledge and starts smashing apart the motor. Debra stands back and watches, supervising the whole fiasco.*
Stone Cold: Rikishi, Michaels, I will see your sorry @$$es in the ring when Stone Cold gets revenge for the wreck, Rocky's suspension, and gets his title back restoring the smoking skull championship where it belongs. Michaels you can have your little manager Shane pay for the damages and be sure that when he writes the check, in the little memo area he puts in there " 'Cuz Stone Cold whipped our @$$es!" You two pieces of trash aren't going anywhere. Tune in next time same Stone Cold Time, same Stone Cold CHANNEL, AND THAT'S THE BOTTOM LINE 'CUZ STONE COLD SAID SO!
*Stone Cold throws down the camera, smashing it and ending the live feed. The screen fades to black!*
OOC: It's good, but I just found out about the match last night and had church this morning so I couldn't do as well as I wanted to. Good luck to the opposition.
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