Chaotic Carnage & Destruction
DEAD MAN WALKING
*A huge black customized four by four pick up truck detailed to the point where it could only be one IXWF superstar driving it pulls into the arena. It has a huge smoking skull decal on the frong with a question mark on the tail gate, and the words Austin 3:16 in white on the sides. The Truck pulls in and gets in its parking spot as directly behind it a limo pulls in with the license plates that read THEROCK. It pulls into its spot in the arena. Stone Cold Steve Austin and his wife Debra Austin get out of the truck as the driver of the limo walks to the side and lets out The Rock. The three walk in together but are immediately met by a very inquisitive Michael Cole.*
Cole: Excuse me Stone Cold, how come only three of you are here? Where is the Undertaker? Where is Chyna? Shouldn't you all be in full force?
Stone Cold: Cole, what you need to do is shut your d@mn mouth, because nobody gives a crap what you have to say. Here's what you need to know about the Dead Man and Chyna. Dead Man got caugh in a little traffic and will be here soon enough. Chyna got a back injury, because that crazy woman was lifting a whole helluva lot more than what most of the men around here could even dream of doing. She was doing it too until the d@mn phone rang and threw her off balance. I don't think I need to tell you that phone is no more. She will be back in action soon enough.
Cole: You three are all set for your matches then right?
*Debra wearing her black leather mini skirt and black baby-T with "Stone Cold" in silver embroidery across the front interrupts*
Debra: Michael I think it's time you kept quiet. Yes we are all ready for our matches. I will tell you this, Terri is in for a big surprise. She thinks that she is some great Diva, but she's no better than someone like Torrie Wilson or Lita. I have already proven to them that I am the greatest woman in this federation. I am a soon to be women's world champion just like my husband Stone Cold Steve Austin will be. The smoking skull championships will be back in place, and the reign of the Austin's will be in full force. As soon as my girl Chyna is feeling better then everyone will be feeling our wrath. Terri, I don't know who you think you are, but I do know that you are obscessed with lesbian girls and things like that. Now whatever you like is your business that doesn't mean I will refrain from opening one large can of whoop-butt on you! You can't be prepared for what you are going to receive. When I get my hands around your scrawny prissy butt little neck I am going to give you a lesson in 3:16 that says Debra Austin just whipped your butt! Terri when you step through the ropes you are going to have to look across the ring and lock eyes with the dark stone cold eyes of Debra Austin. You see us Austin's are known for being the toughest sons of guns around here. So please come out here and bore everyone with your thousands of pictures of yourself. You must be conceited, because that is all you do. Just show a bunch of needless pictures of yourself. It's time to deflate that little ego of yours and learn what it is like in the real world, where there is a real life, and a real butt kicking coming to you. Your pal Kane is going to be able to protect you, because if he tries anything then my husband, Stone Cold Steve Austin will surely beat him like the little punk butt witch he is! Terri are you ready for Mrs. Stone Cold Steve Austin? WHAT?! Are you read to receive an official Chaotic Carnage and Destruction HYYBP? That's exactly what you invested yourself into, a Hand You Your Butt Policy! You might want to eat a little bit before the match, because with your anerexic body you will probably have a few broken bones and maybe even a few bruises or black eyes when I'm done with you. Everyone will learn the lesson of 3:16, I will be the personal teacher, you are the child who does nothing but goofs off and needs a good drop kick to be set straight. You remember you have no idea what you have gotten yourself into. *Debra looks at The Rock.* You are the largest hot stinking pile of monkey Crap Debra has ever seen. You see the Debra is tired, tired of little girls like you trying to make it big in the business. You think you are as good as the Great One? Well on Smackdown you will be going one on one with The Great One Debra Austin. That will make your monkey butt famous! Terri, the Debra says this, you can get in your skimpy clothing, you can prance around like rudolph on Christmas, heck you can sing at the top of your lungs MERRY HOLIDAYS, but the fact of the matter is you will get the smacketh down layed upon your candy butt! You can take your little microphone, you can shine it up nice and shiny, then you can turn that son of a gun sideways and stick straight up that oversized bohemeth rear you call a but. The early nineties called and said nevermind they don't want your sorry excuse for a wannabe Diva back. *Debra looks back at Austin.* Terri when I get a hold of your tiny little thing you call a head I will pound you from pillar to post and up and down every aisle of this arena. *looks back at the rock* IF YA SMELLLLLLALALALALAW WHAT THE DEBRA AUSTIN......*smells the air* *raises eyebrow* IS...COOKIN'! *Debra once again looks at Stone Cold* and that's the bottom line, WHAT?! And That's The Bottom Line, WHAT?! AND THAT'S THE BOTTOM LINE BECAUSE MRS. STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN SAID SO!
*Debra pushes Cole out of the way and both Stone Cold and The Rock follow her. They head back to the locker room.*
*The Rock, Debra, and Stone Cold are all sitting back in the locker room. The Rock is wearing his black leather pants with huge brahma bull buckle, and the shirt that across the front reads "Geat Ready" and on the back reads "because your candy @$$ is next". Coach barges in the door with microphone and camera man.*
Coach: Rocky, Booker T had some comments about you, what do you have to say?
The Rock: WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA *standing up*, what in the blue hell gives you the right to step into the Rock's locker room? Did you get invited by somebody? Did you pay to get in the door? Did you bribe the janitor to un-lock it? IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW YOU GOT IN HERE! You see yes, The Rock just so happens to have something to say about Booker T. Your candy @$$ is lucky. Sucka T, Mr. T, Ice T, whatever your name is. Do you actually think you can compare to The Rock? You call yourself, The Book? Are you some type of fairy tale? Or fairy anything for that matter? Are you some murder story? Or how about a children's story, because it sounds like to The Rock that you are just singing a lot of monkey crap, and need to get your fifty pound head out of your own @$$! You are going to have to come down to the ring and go one on one with The Great One, and that will make your monkey @$$ famous! *looks at Debra feeling a bit redundant then looks back into the camera. Booker, when you come down to the ring trying to be as great as the Rock you will be missing one thing that the real People's Champ has. The People! The Millions, AND MILLIONS of the Rock's fans will be chanting his name. *The crowd in the arena starts chanting "Rocky, Rocky, Rocky"! Book you are just one of the thousands AND THOUSANDS of supposed men out there that want to Be The Rock. At least you have good taste. The problem here is that you believe you are who in fact you are not. The Rock is the most electrifying man in sports entertainment today! Not, the supposed Book! Booger, let The Rock ask you a question? Do you like pie? Apple pie? No, not apple pie. How about blueberry pie? No, not that one either. Book, do you like that nice, sweet, un-adulterated puntang pie? OF COURSE YOU DON'T LIKE PUNTANG PIE YOU WOULD RATHER HAVE SOME APPLE STRUDEL! So run your A-Team lovin punk b!tch @$$ down to McDonalds and buy all of the apple strudel you want. Take that strudel, and do what you would enjoy most, first open the side of the box, the slide out the red lighted steaming hot strudel, place it in your hand, take yourself one big whif, then take your sleeve and rub off the side of the strudel until you get a nice shine, then take that strudel, turn that som b!tch sideways AND STICK IT STRAIGHT UP YOUR CANDY @$$! The Book....end? What in the blue hell is that you roody-poo? You call The Rock bottom a copy of the Book end? You don't even do it right, you embarrass the Rock Bottom! That is just fine and dandy with The Rock, because when you step into the ring, The Rock will simply lay the smackdown, and show you the most electrifying move in all of sports entertianment today, the move of the people, The People's Elbow! So you say The Rock will pay? Well you are the one who will pay for trying to make a mockery of The Rock. The Great One will beat you so hard your dog will be retarded! Seeing as though noone can tell the difference between you and your dogs rear end. The Rock will whip your monkey @$$, and you will here the ref's hand not five times, not four times, not one time, not two times, but three count 'em three times. You pride yourself on five championship wins in the past.....The Rock says you got beat five times for it! You book, you bring you strudels, your book marks, your dogs rear end, hell even bring the kitchen sink, just come on down, and get the @$$ whipping you deserve. The Rock is going to step into the people's ring, The Rock is going to do what he does best and entertain the people by laying the smackdown on your candy ass! Book, you aren't even in the same league as The Rock, so keep up your dreams of superstardom, but prepare yourself for a beating at the hands of the most electrifying man in sports entertianment IF YA SMELLLLALALALALAOW WHAT THE ROCK *smells the air* *raises the eybrow* IS COOKIN'!
*The Rock pushes coach out of the locker room and closes the door as the picture of the logo of CCD is shown on the screen, then the screen fades.*
*The crowd sits restless in their seats waiting for some excitement and keeping tabs on their favorite or not so favorite superstars and what they've done throughout the evening. All of the sudden:*
*The fans rise to their feet screaming at the top of their lungs, the fans who brought Stone Cold or other CCD signs wave them high in the air with hopes of getting on television with them so they can be famous in their own minds. Stone Cold comes out from behind the curtain wearing a black hat with a question mark on the front, his jean shorts, black knee brace, black boots, and a black Austin 3:16 T-Shirt with a beer can on the back that reads across the label "Whoop-@$$ Ale!" Stone Cold walks down the ramp way and gets into the ring. He gives a glare at Liliane Garcia as he procedes to go corner to corner throwing his hands in the air. Once he's made his rounds on all four corners he walks over to Lilian who gives him the microphone before exiting the ring. Stone Cold walks to the center of the ring.*
Stone Cold: What? Kevin Nash? What? Big Sexy? What? Seven foot piece of trash? What? I said Nash, if you want to call yourself Big Sexy I don't give a d@mn, because one way or another you are the absolute largest piece of trash walking this planet. I think it's time you learned a lesson. You don't come out here running your mouth to Stone Cold Steve Austin. When you do that you might as well dance around a rattle snake while slapping it upside the head. What you do is you p!$$ it off, then you get something you don't want. You get bit. One quick strike from the rattlesnake and your life might as well be flashing before your eyes. That's exactly what you did to Stone Cold Steve Austin. You came out here talking your trash like it meant something. Is that what you thought? You thought it meant something to ol' Stone Cold? eh-EH! Hell no it didn't mean a d@mned thing! You see Nash, Stone Cold doesn't sit here and put up with punks like you. You are one of the many that feels as of CCD has fallen. For your information Chaotic Carnage and Destruction, are only biding their time. Each member, taking some time to sit back and watch instead of acting like you, diving out head first just to find the d@mned pool is empty. Let Stone cold ask you a question, were you born retarded or do you practice at it? It's called Strategy something used by only the best out there. We all know you sure as hell don't compare, when you came here with your little "nWo" buddies, CCD personally invested you into an official CCD HYYAP, that Hand You Your @$$ Policy! Not just once, but several times. One ol' fashioned @$$ whippin' after another. You want to talk about Triple H, it's not like you would do any better, Triple H, Wrestlemania, he got d@mned lucky. Triple H, Backlash luck struck twice. I can and will demand my re-match whenever I please as if it's any of your business. You think because you are a couple of inches taller that I can't beat you alone. I don't need anyone to help me out, as a matter of fact if I do recall everytime you've had an @$$ whippin', there wasn't interferance on the part of CCD, but time and time again your little nWo buddies kept interfering. Why don't you get a clue? There's an old saying in Texas.....The bigger they are, the harder they FALL! You are going to bust your @$$ big time, big boy! You haven't seen a has been until you looked into a mirror, and you sure as hell haven't seen a true drunk until you look to your left or up your @$$ and find Scott Hall! My hearing is just fine WHAT?! I can hear just fine. WHAT?! I said there's nothing wrong with my hearing! I am d@mned proud to be a drunken texan! Now as far as I'm concerned you can take your horse sh!t and ugly stick and stick it straight up your own @$$ or let your buddy Hall do it for you. Debra, you had better not be insulting Debra, son you just earned yourself double the @$$ whippin'. Debra is one helluva woman, given your buddy Hall and yourself are just about as big as women, but that's your problem. You ain't gonna prove a d@mned thing when you are lying on the ground crying about how bad you just got your @$$ whipped! Triple H didn't prove anything to me, and you haven't proved anything to me. I'm not sure what kicking my @$$ nWo style is, because it hasn't worked in the past, so how about I just continue to kick your @$$ Stone Cold Steve Austin style? One last question for you Nash, what in the hell is a "Nashy"? That is what you called yourself? Does it make you feel more feminine? WHAT?! Does it make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside? WHAT?! Does it make you feel like you are on top of your game? WHAT?! Or does it mean that I'm just going to have to reach into the cabinet, pull out one large can of whoop-@$$ out and open it all over you? If you all want to see me and CCD kick @$$ on Smackdown give me a hell yeah!
Crowd: HELL YEAH!
Stone Cold: AND THAT'S THE BOTTOM LINE 'CUZ STONE COLD SAID SO!
*Stone Cold throws down the microphone and gets up on the turnbuckle. He calls for a beer and catches two of them as two were tossed to him. He pops the tops and slams them together spraying beer all over. He downs the beers then throws the empty cans down. He gets down off of the turnbuckle and exits the ring. He walks up the ramp to the roar of the crowd and disappears behind the curtain.*
Backstage: Austin, Debra, and The Rock are in the locker room with a conference phone connected to Chyna. Cole tries to walk into the room, but The Undertaker comes up from behind and grabs a hold of Cole.
'Taker: No, you've done enough, now run.
*The Undertaker walks into the locker room, and the scene fades once again with the Chaotic Carnage and Destruction Logo.
OOC: Macco, I did a Debra to send her out in a good way. I have something else I need to talk to you about, but I'll e-mail you.
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