The Badd Boy: Now now Mr. T is the guy that I have to allow to be in my presence for the short length of time that I will be completely stomping his @$$. Now does it sound a little arrogant to say that I will be the one mopping the floor with his sorry @$$? Hell no, I mean look at the poor sap that likes to think he is even in competition. Let's take a trip back down memory lane, when Mr. T was one of the most popular celebrities of his day. How about in the eighty's when the A-Team was popular? It focused around four men who liked to pull off special jobs and Mr. T was essentially just the joke of the bunch. The gold wearing black man who was always stuck in new situations that was funny to put a large black man in that place. Now don't get me wrong this isn't racist, rather just what the humor was geared for. Mr. T in a sombrero, or Mr. T wearing a ladies dress. Mr. T had to do a lot of crazy things. Mr. T you were a popular kind of guy, you just pittied the fool who touched your gold chains right sucka? I remember you guest starring on Alvin and the Chipmunks. How about when you fought Rocky in the movies? Then fast forward to WWF's Wrestlemania I, where you tagged with Hulk Hogan and got your taste of the wrestling industry. With other involvment from guys like Rowdy Roddy Piper, Paul Orndorf, Cowboy Bob Orton, and Jimmy the superfly Snuka. Needless to say your wrestling wasn't even at the top of the lowest jobbers game. Hogan pulled you through the evening and we see you return at Wrestlemania II when you boxed with Rowdy Roddy Piper. Now that was fun watching him beat the tar out of you. You have got to love Piper. So that's all the experience you have, and now you return to the wrestling industry, over twenty years past your prime with still no experience. Just another celebrity that thinks any old person can get into the ring, jump around on a trampoline and pretend to punch somebody. Well I hope that when you get into the ring you get the chance to realize that it just isn't that easy. See now you are a dirty old man walking around shouting racist, fascist, and sexist comments, talking about how you want to make someone your prison b!tch, play with some man's genetalia, and rape dolls. Now I don't know what drugs you've been smokin', tokin', or chokin', but you are way out of your league. Look at this, I am the freaking world heavy weight champion, and you are being given a shot at my title in only your second match. Dear God man, do you realize why you are even in the match? It's all about pity. Everyone feels sorry for you because it's like you have alzhiemers, you've forgotten your place in society, and you've forgotten who the people are now that run this world and this business. Hell son, I am supposed to be the freaking main eventer around here. I am the very best this federation has to offer, and not even I can bring a poor chump such as yourself up to the main event spot. Even with me as your opposition you couldn't be placed higher than Third in line counting back from the main event. That says a whole hell of a lot right there. Inside that ring you shouldn't be fighting me you should be bowing at my feet, shining my shoes, and getting my water. No don't go saying it's because you are a black man, I'm not like that. Rather it's because you as a person, as Mr. T have no value in this society. You should go and try to knock Arnold Schwartzawhoever out of the governers office so that you can be the new governer. I would personally have to see that. You could allow Gary Coleman to be your new secretary. Hell make Arnold your new prison b!tch, then we could get you out of the ring where you don't belong especially going after my world championship as nothing more than a rookie. You are going to find that this is not the now defunct World Championship Wrestling, David Arquette nor Jay Leno, nor Mr. T can be the world champion in the Extreme Measures Federation. The EMF is all about being the best of the best, and having the skill to stay there. Much like myself. If I were not the best I wouldn't be holding this gold that is now over my shoulder, no I would be sitting in the back still dreaming. You want raping to go on after these matches, you are a sick f@ck, you deserve to be up there with Justin Frenchfries and Jobbulus Jobber, not screwing with the best d@mn superstar in this business. I am a true Force of One now, the Baddest man on the planet, and boy, you ain't sh!t!

The Badd Boy: Now if you want to know how I got to this position, it's not by trying to be the man everyone wants me to be. No, you see that wasn't working out for me. All of the fans, they want a whole hell of a lot out of you, but there's usually nothing in it for you. No, being the hero, being the good guy, being the saving grace when trouble draws near. That gets you nothing but walked all over and left in the dust. Even if you prove to be the better man in the ring you just don't get the respect. To get respect you have to earn it, and like playing king of the hill you have to be able to get up to the top, overthrow the old king and knock all of the dirty, disgusting, undeserving little peasants back down, and let everyone know that this is your yard. This is my f*cking yard now b!tch! I refuse to allow some little chump @$$ wannabe superstar just old washed up has been celebrity think that because he's "Mr. T Foo" that I'm going to bow down and say oh please come and beat me for my belt. I'll take you to the school of badd knocks. That's where The Badd One grabs you by the head and beats the everloving tar out of you just for being a little b!tch. You were able to walk in here and throw your weight around, get your name back in the spotlight, get yourself a match for publicity, but I'm going to just beat the sh!t out of you, kick your @$$ right back out to the streets, brush the grime off of my wrestling gear and move on with my life to the next chapter. Maybe each month we can take a look at Mr. T the former superstar of the EMF. Each month it could be a look at what hell hole you are living in now. Which dumpster you crawled out of. We could have contests to see who can guess where in the world Mr. T is based on the trash on him when he climbs out of the metal box. Even take clues from Mr. T sightings to guess where he will be next. Watching you checking out fraternity parties so you can find you some dumb drunk college guys, who are more apt to kick your @$$, but you'd learn that the hard we. Then we could also have a tribute to the man who's length in the federation was beaten by only one other man, and that was UnReal. However it seems that the two of you have a whole hell of a lot in common, and when I say beaten by UnReal I do refer to that in more than one way. There seems to be a common interest in homosexual tendencies, and I'm not a big fan of that myself, but I guess whatever floats your boat...but that doesn't mean to get anywhere near my docks. You keep your boat in a whole different body of water. You keep this sh!t up and I do know big Bubba down at the prison. I'm sure you know him intimately. I'll gladly pay off his debt so the two of you can live happily ever after. That's all for my entertainment though, knowing that he ripped you a new one time, after time, after time again each and every night. One more thing I just can't let by is knowing that my years of hard work and dedication to this business would be thrown down the crapper. It's bad enough that I got sh!t on so often because I'm the nice guy. Well not any longer, I can't sit here and just take people's sh!t. That's why I did what I had to do to a couple of my former friends. Sometimes the only way people will listen to your needs is if you force them to, and I had the need to break out of the old nice guy mold. People didn't think I had the balls, and just because I said the world balls does not mean for you to get excited, but as I was saying, people didn't think I had what it took to do what I needed for myself, but I shocked the world when I did just that. I am now getting a grasp on everything that I need, and doing what is right for The Badd Boy and what is going to provide for The Badd One's family. Some would call it a sell out, but those who have traveled a similar path know that it's just living another day and finding the only way to become the best in this business. Hell even management likes it, because to be the best you have to have those selfish desires and you have to allow them to consume you and your needs to be able to carry you through the match. If by chance you knock me down I'll remember that if I don't get up it's my championship that leaves, it's the very piece of expensive gold that I cherish so much that I will lose. Sorry T, but that would leave me having what I simply can not have, and leave what I will be sure to see that you get, and that's a very Badd Day!

LATER ON

Kevin Kelly: Excuse me, I was hoping to get a few words with you.

The Badd Boy: Okay, these are my few words. Have a badd day now.

Kevin Kelly: No I mean a short interview about your match.

The Badd Boy: If it weren't part of the reason that I get such a nice paycheck I would tell you know, but under contract obligations I guess let's get the misery over with so I can go about the rest of my evening.

Kevin Kelly: Please Mr. Badd Boy, don't get too enthused.

The Badd Boy: I won't.

Kevin Kelly: So Mr. T is your second title defense and marks your one month anniversary as the EMF world heavy weight champion. How does it feel to be fighting him?

The Badd Boy: It feels like this federation is being disgraced by allowing some little punk @$$ b!tch come in off the streets because he used to have a popular name and we give him a world title shot. Yeah that makes a whole lot of f*cking sense to me. Note that sarcasm by the way. I'll be glad to quickly end this match and get it over with because the world champion should not be bothered by every little begger that comes into the federation begging for a title shot, because there are millions of guys out there who want to be who I am right now, and that's just tough sh!t, because they live for the dream, I am the dream, I earned it and I'm not letting any little punk come and take that away from me, especially not Mr. T!

Kevin Kelly: That would explain a lot, but what about Mr. T's future in the federation where do you see that?

The Badd Boy: Where do I see that? NOWHERE! Did mommy drop you on the head one too many times as a child? There is no such thing as a future for Mr. T in the EMF. He said it and most of his demands were met. There is no becoming anyone's b!tch, except I'll treat him like my b!tch in the ring. However he has no future because it is his career verses my world championship. Which do you think is more important? No, don't answer that. The answer is my world championship, his career was dead twenty five years ago there's no use attempting to revive a dead person that doesn't stand a chance anyway. So to answer your question, forget about Mr. T's career, it lasted all of two weeks, and that's all it's going to have!

Kevin Kelly: You seem pretty sure that you will be the victor.

The Badd Boy: Uh...Duh!? I'm facing Mr. freakin' T! Does this not register to you? My dad could whip his @$$ in a wrestling match, and my dad is in no shape for wrestling right now I assure you that. My great grandfather with two bad knees could come out here and use his face as a mop for the ring. I think my son and daughter who can't even talk or crawl could probably put up a victory over Mr. T. If he were to win the world championship that would be an embarrassment for the company, and he really needs someone to put his old time @$$ back into place where he belongs, and I'm just the man for the job. Hell management even hired me to do the job, they were wanting me to sign the contract before I even knew the challenge was made.

Kevin Kelly: What lengths will you be willing to go to win this match up?

The Badd Boy: What lengths will I not be willing to go is more like it. Let's make this completely hypothetical. Let's say chump change cashes in his gold and buys himself some skill. There is not one move that I would not make to see to it that he lost. I don't care how in depth this match has to go, I don't care what kind of pain must be gone through, what extreme measures may be needed. I will prove that I am a deserving champion and that means putting his @$$ out of commission. If he ever thinks for one second that I am down and out, he'll have another thing coming when I smack him around the ring, plant him on his back, something he seems used to based off of his new lifestyle and I will pin him getting yet another one, two three.

Kevin Kelly: Do you feel you are one hundred percent going into this match up two weeks after having to take on Degenerate in one hell of a battle?

The Badd Boy: One hundred percent? No there's no way in hell I am one hundred percent. Look Kevin, can you see me, can you see how I look? I am two hundred percent at least. I am feeling great, I'm feeling like I could raise some hell, you can ring the bell, 'cause The Badd One is hot hot hot baby. I keep myself strong as an ox, and when little boys like Mr. T like to think they can handle me, a position where many superstars may let down their guard a bit, hell no, I will not do that. Why let down my guard when I can simply just pummel them that much harder. I would say that creates a harder lesson for them to learn. Once that lesson is pounded into their heads, you can rest assured we won't be needing to clean those has beens off of the bottom of our shoes any longer.

Kevin Kelly: So any final comments for Mr. T before we go?

The Badd Boy: Yeah, Mr. T, listen up and listen good. You made a mistake thinking you could last with The Badd Boy. You are probably still thinking that I am going to be some pushover punk, someone who may not deserve to be the world champion. Learn this much, I am the best you will ever see. I am ten thousand times better than any man you have ever been in the ring with, and Mr. T, I don't much care for celebrities who think they are tough sh!t. You'll be packing your doll raping, homosexual loving, no skilled bags and you'll be going home. Your time is up, and my time will just keep on ticking. It will be a Cold Day in Hell before you ever beat me for the EMF World Heavy Weight Championship, so isn't that just too badd!

The Badd Boy: Mr. T, you were better off keeping your mouth shut because you only make yourself sound more retarded the more you speek. You can walk around and say sh!t and f@cker all you want, but that doesn't intimidate me, that doesn't scare me. You probably think you are some real f*cking bad @$$. You don't scare me off and I will never bow down to a chump little wannabe. When I was listening to you speak I was only thinking how old is this kid, that you sit there with your jibber jabber and your redundant phrases. Repeating yourself like crazy and just cursing more than I have all day. I'll tell you what, why don't you shut your mouth, because you were a whole lot more of a threat with your mouth shut, and that's how we would all have prefered it. So Mr. T if you are sitting stand up, and if you are standing stay as you are, now sit down, because to borrow a phrase you are about to be owned. You have know idea how badd I can be. I'll be seeing you in the ring, and for God's sake please don't say another word because just your speech p!$$es me off. See you soon old boy.