Interview of the Week... or month...

Interview of the week

Let me remind you :


President : Orange
Vice-President : Watermelon
Secetary : Apple
Vice-Secetary : Strawberry
Infomation Supplier : Orange
Vice Information Supplier : Cherry

This page is entirely fiction, completely dedicated to her comedy blah blah, and all her silly mistakes. Right now, the "comedy interview" thingy for this week is.....

Siew Li's Street Chat Interview
Reporter (saying to Siew Li) : Hello! I am a reporter from the TIME magazine and we want to know what young people like you do in K.L around this day.
Siew Li : I am following my mother go shopping! See? She is next to me.
Siew Li's mom : Haaallo.
Reporter : I see... do you spend a lot of time with your mother?? That is great!!
Siew Li : ya what. That's what YOUNG people nowadays.
Reporter : huh? oh, you must be mistaken. I just interviewed a group of young girls just now and they say they love hanging out in places like Bintang Walk, KLCC, and bigger malls in K.L!! No mothers too!!
Siew Li : (giving a murderous stare) ARE YOU SAYING THAT I AM NOT COOL?!?!
Reporter : well... yeah. but...
Siew Li turns dark red, then bright, then dark red again. Then, : HOW DARE YOU SAY I AM NOT COOL!! Bitch!!!
Reporter : WOW! You are SOOOO cool (thinking) yeah RIGHT!
Siew Li : I knew I was all along...
Siew Li's mom : Ah girl ah, don't say bitch, it's not good for yourself....u should say something worse! Like Asshole mar...cheh!
Siew Li : sorry, ma. I will be ruder next time.
Siew Li's mom : good girl, cutie pie, sunshine, darling, honey, "bao pei"....
The reporter looks at them with disbelief. @_@
Siew Li : thanx mama... oh, yah, reporter person... oh i mean, ASSHOLE. Do you wanna interview me??
Reporter : oh no, i don't need to any more... er...
Siew Li : I SAY U INTERVIEW ME NOW!!!!!!!!!
Siew Li's mom : "lek lui".
Reporter : ok, ok. (thinking) weirdos...
Siew Li : hurry up lah, must hurry to buy bra's lah!
Reporter : .......
Siew Li : Ya mah....my boops getting big liao!
*THE WHOLE STREET LOOKS AT HER AS IF SHE IS SAKAI TO TELL IT OUT....* (siew li happens to be in Petaling Street)
Siew li's mom : ya! GO SIEW LI! GO!
Reporter (starting to get scared, thinking) ok...... if i dun chao...im defenitely ready to receive the title 'shishi gal's aunty'... : ok, I will ask you 5 questions. Number 1 is, do u like harry potter??
Siew Li : HARRY POTTER!?!? I LOVE IT!!!! (starts to drool) the plots are fantasitc! blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah....
Reporter : Zzzzzzzzzzzzz... *wakes up but Siew Li didn't notice the reporter was sleeping.* : never mind, too much facts already.
Siew Li : LET ME FINISH!! u SAKAI PO!!
Siew Li's mom : don't disturb the dear lady.(sentence removed due to strong objection from the public)
Siew Li : ok lah. Question 2 leh??
Reporter : How much do you spend on clothes a week??
Siew Li : AIYAH! who needs clothes!!! designers? I know NOTHING about them!!! I do my own sewing coz next time I want to be an independant working woman in this wonderful, yet unfair world!!! By the way, what do you think of this dress? I followed the LATEST fashion.
The reporter notices her dress for the first time, then thinks : hey, this dress came out of a magazine that was publish by the company i work for 30 years ago!!!
Siew Li's mom : I lent her my old magazines!! It was the latest fashion that time you see.
Siew Li: (smiles proudly) yeah! I'm so cool now thanx to my mom! We dress ALIKE!!!
Reporter : thinks : Did u picked ur dress up in the junk yard..or did the sewing machine just blew up?! speaks : anyways, question number 3...wat are u good at? i mean wat the shitting hack do u luvv...to do??
Siew Li : this is easy!!!!!!!! I love scolding, nagging, irritating people, whining, bitching, being stupid, being crazy, annoying people, whacking people, pointing at boys, sticking my butt and boobs out... oh yah, i also like sewing, knitting, cooking... the average modern lady.
Reporter : ahh.... i see.......... well... ok..... Question 4.... Are you taking any special courses in a... lets say, singing? or perhaps accounting? law?
Siew Li: accounting is for other people who are good at maths. Law is too hard, i'm TOO lazy to study it. but i am studying at the 'I suck at Singing' Singing Institute. So far, I robohkan 5 builings and cracked all the walls in the bathroom and kitchen, and i also broke all the mirrors and expensive vases and glass in the school.
Reporter : ok... hav u ever performed for ur 'i suck at singing' institute? like concert?
Siew li : Yeah, I got tons of degrees' last year thanx to my EXCELLENT singing. I am studying for my masters' degree now!!!
Reporter : err... what degrees' did you get??
Siew Li : i had a degree in Advanced Terrible Singing, Breaking the Glass Singing, a Further Cracking The Walls Singing, and Additional Damage Singing.
Siew Li's mom : Isn't my dah-ling wonderful?? I framed up every single certificate. Some day she will be a great terrible opera singer.
Reporter: ok... um... we are running out of time here... i have to do another interview with someone else. Question 5 then... are u still a virgin? And please tell me how old are you.
Siew Li : nahh...i lost my virginity during secondary school, but that is a different story... you see, to get the money for college, i had to melacurkan diri for the money. i have a son at home called Tan Kay Poh. He is now 3 years old. I have a baby daughter, only 4 months old, her name is Tan Bak Poh.
Reporter : Who's the father of both the children??
Siew Li : Ohh...the father was a penagih dadah, he gave me big bucks ya know, plenty of money to 'play in bed' wif him. But soon after he found out i was pregnant, he killed himself.
Reporter : ok, umm... how about the girl's father??
Siew Li : The girls father ah... let me see, was it Leng Zai, Zai Zai, Fei Zai, Botak Zai .......
Reporter : (thinking) So many guyz wan??!! how many wan...teruknya!!
Siew Li : ah, i remember, i think was gila-sex zai... i was his perempuan simpanan, (dat guy no taste or sakit jiwa choose siewli) his wife found out so she whacked him and killed him...there did u read the newspaper of a wife kill her husband? dat one lar!
Reporter : i noticed you never told me how old are you... considering the fact that you are in college , i suppose you must be around 20-something
Siew Li : no lah, where got so damn old?? i'm just 16 this year. That's why I told you i lost my virgin in secondary school. After I sit for PMR (i was pregnant dat time) i apply for this terrible singing college and they put me in straight away... come to think of it, SMSU was very happy to kick me out...
Reporter : (thinking) such a bad student, sure kick her out lah!
Siew Li : eh, i must buy pampers for my kid lah...
Reporter : oh... ok. go lah, before ur kid learn how to point the middle finger at you just like you.
*THE REPORTER RUNS OFF QUICKLY, RUSHING THRU THE CROWD, KNOWING THAT SIEW LI WILL CATCH HER*
Siew Li : forget it lah! pregnant too heavy! i cant run!
Hey, we know we havent been updating this interview thing! and we r SORRI! its more like once a month rite? we're sorry...well, i guess we will put up another one...this old one is TOO FUNNY to let it go a waste. so we wont delete it! ^_^
Reporter : Halo u bitchy-toe sucking little dwarf!
Siew Li : Oh, and halo u....witch!
Reporter : watever la, u so lame! ok, here's my duh..another dreadful yet dangerous interview wit u. sooo.....u spoon sucking baby, i wanna ask u...errr, how's ur nota's? u know, in skool? how's ur studies? ok ar??? (hoping dat if teacher has to mark another of siewli's exercises, she'll blow or rather...kill herself)
Siew Li : oh, u should hav seen! eH! my handwriting damn shiok wan u know! so neat and cute!! (siewli shows the reporter on a notepad)
The Reporter looks thru quickly, not able to understand all those ugly scribbles and rubbish siewli conteng inside...she gulps. they look like dog's paws...a cat could hav had better handwriting i swear.
Reporter : y yes! i could see ur writing very....err...well...beautiful, magnificant! haha....(fake betul)
Siew Li : my mom train me like this wan! she says i will be much more smart if i write like this....and indeed i can feel myself much smarter! MUAhahahah!!
Suddenly a stall was pushed by, the stall sells taufu. the seller stops and stares at siewli. he looks at her up and down but mostly, her pimples.
Taufu Seller : Hey hey, little gal....
Siew Li : im not little gal! u..
Taufu Seller : but u look small! my god! u hav so much pimples tau!! yeeee! some turn green liao ah!!
Reporter : she doesn't wash her face. neither does she drink water or eat veges....
Taufu Seller : .........AHHAHAHA u could really use the help of my 'miracle taufu'! wahahaha!! i promise...once u eat liao, u will bcome as beautiful like angel!
Siew Li : apa miracle taufu lah! u big butt seller! u think u very big ah? ur pimples more lar!
Taufu Seller : Like u meh!? face full of grossie pimples! cheeks, forehead, chin, nose and covered full of yucky pimples! say ppl? HAH!
Reporter : Hey, buy la! dun regret! its very good!
Siew Li : apalah, waste my money. fine then i buy one.
Taufu Seller : woi buy 3 larh!! 1 not enuf for pimple gals like u wan! 3 enuf to clear a bit onli!
Siew Li turns red in embaressment...she 'shakes insects off'......
Siew Li : u GILA ar! wat u know so much har?! u think u do ur buisness very good ah? u think u earn alot money ah? u think u very BIG???
Reporter : pardon taufu man, this young....bear is totally off track since she's born....
Taufu Seller : ......i could see dat. she's wild!
Siew Li : hoi u chau cibai tiu mahai son of a bitch gay, u still wan me to buy ur smelly taufu's onot???
Taufu Seller : No need lah! a bitch like u buy my wonderful taufu will bring terrible fengshui onli!
Siew Li : Ya RitE!! wana bet?!
Taufu Seller : Fine! see u stand here no one come and buy my taufu's! ok i bet u move away further than sure the whole crowd will rush in and buy my taufu!
Siew Li : OK! (butt-shakes away a little further)
* The whole crowd saw siewli going away from the stall, and some even yelled : "Hey! the monkey-gal is away from the stall liao! faster go buy before she come back!" And the whole crowd ran and buy the taufu.* Taufu Seller : See wat i mean? Bodo!!
Siew Li : WAT? WAT aH?? ok loR! i run back here scare them away so u nvr will hav buisness to run!!
*Siewli hurled herself foward, panicked and shocked the crowd backed away running in all directions.."AAAHH!! the monkey gal is coming!!" some even dropped their taufu's...* Taufu Seller : Oh! u wana pick a fight huh??
Back to mainpage
This is about what happens in class and what she does.
Facts about Siew Li
All Siew Li's weak points
A anti-siew li theme song we created
Artist of the month
Anti Siew Li Voting Poll
Wanna Know Siew Li??
Bad Hair Day
signs of stress??
Contributions to the ASL site

Written by Orange & Watermelon
Information Supplied by Strawberry