(Strobe light begin flashing and thee sounds of shuffling cards is heard and a picture of cards being shuffled is seen on the HWCtron. Then the loud BOOM! Is heard and The Ace Of Spades by Motor head is blasted through the arena. Ace walks out to the ring with his ATV Title over his shoulder. Ace gets to the ring grabs a mic and looks rather sad)

Ace: Hi everyone. Ya know what I heard? I heard Tiger didn’t like her gifts. I couldn’t believe it. I thought if nothing else the TiVo from Viper would have made her smile. But I was wrong. And I thought the ribbed Trojans would make her smile even more. But Pitbull was having trouble, and they couldn’t use them. And she supposedly said the foam ATV Title was dumb and childish. I tried really hard for her to like those gifts. It took me wee over 3 hours to pick them out. I guess it’s true what they say....You just can’t please a woman.

(All the men in the crowd cheer)

Ace: But Tiger isn’t all bad. Ya see she did like the Mr. Rogers picture. And she liked the frame. She said it was lovely. At least that’s what I have been told. So Tiger, I have decided that I would try one more thing. Mama DeCicco’s, my mother, famous pizza. She is cooking in the arena kitchen. After this promo I am going to bring it to you. That should be something you enjoy. Viper Maxx, and Lizzy love my mother’s pizza. Anyway Tiger I’m not out here to just talk about gifts, and to be friendly. I’m here to talk about something else. Something that all kids going through puberty should be aware of.

(Crowd gets a bewildered look on their faces)

Ace: You should not masturbate if there are other people in your house and you make a lot of noise.

(Crowd cheer and nod their head in a agreement)

Ace: I am going to talk to some people at ringside about that statement.

(Ace picks up his ATV Title and heads ringside)

Ace: You sir, what you think?

Fan # 1: I think that is a very wise statement. Do you think I can make a shout out?

Ace: You are 50 years old and shout outs are so MTV. But what the hell.

Fan # 1: Hi, Johhny,, Joey, Ralph, Larry and Sam!

Ace: Good for you sir.

(Ace walks over to a kid who looks to be about 13)

Ace: Hey kid, what do you think about that statement?

Kid # 1: I don’t know I have gone through puberty yet.

Ace: Don’t worry kid, sometimes it hits kids later than others.

Kid # 1: I don’t find that (voice cracks) very funny.

Ace: Well kid it looks like puberty just hit ya.

(Ace goes over to an attractive woman who looks to be about 25)

Ace: I am going to give you the honor of taking a picture with me

Girl Fan: I love you Ace, I love you so much.

Ace: Here, you can hold the ATV Title, in the picture.

(A security guy takes the picture)

Ace: Thanks mac. OK well I’m gonna go now. See ya later peeps!

(Ace’s music hits and he walks up the ramp and into the backstage area)