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writegirl@altavista.com
Why I Hate Yuppies
1. Unattractive
Why oh why do yuppies have such lumpy bodies? Is it the food they eat? Genetics? Their lifestyle? Wow they are very unattractive. And I mean neither the body nor the face looks good. Yikes! Plus they look OLD. Older than they are. I keep mistaking all of the 35 year olds for 50 year olds. While the boomers try to be forever young, the 25 to 40 year olds seem to be rushing to middle age as fast as they can. (What’s worse is that I am 26 and I say this!)
2. Bloated Sense of Self.
Guess what Yuppies? The world was not created just for you. I know that is a difficult thought to grasp but it is the truth. Deal with it.
3. Try To Act Rich.
Okay you spend all of your time trying to accumulate wealth so you can buy “things.” Good for you. But it’s never enough so all of you are knee-deep in debt and putting on the dog while inside you are about to collapse. Nouveau riche never looked so distasteful. If you want to act the part of rich look to old-money peeps they will show you how having the latest doodad is a cheap trick. They put money into things that last a long time, buy classics. Try saving.
4. Children Are Possessions.
So you and your lovely wife have your “stuff” now let’s add children. You need the whole package. So you have them and since you are both working to pay for all of the “stuff”, you can’t be home when they come home from school. You don’t talk to them, you just throw “gifts” at them. You have created some of the rudest, saddest children I have ever seen. Plus they are FAT. Stop it!
5. Annoying.
Right in my little town all of you have moved into the new developments and you took over local government. Hey more of you, then those of us who have lived here a while. But what really bugs me is your analness. You want a law for EVERYTHING! How did we ever survive before you came to town. And, dammit, I will not trim down my lilac hedge to 3’. I love flowers. So haha!
6. Rigid.
Okay well this goes with annoying. It’s just that your brains are sucky. You want too many rules. You like to control peeps while you can’t even control your own little pitiful world.
(I’m hanging out with the hippies. At least they believed in something beyond themselves.)
P.S. Stop Reproducing!
