A Brief Essay on the Importance of Jimmy Saville and Nonsense
Imagine Jimmy Saville, 74 years old (yet appearing eternally young and beautiful),
decked out in the customary trademark jewels and luminous tracksuit, his platinum hair sculpted into what remains the most fashionable and timeless of all haircuts - the mullet, his essential,comically large cigar resting elegantly and effortlessly between two of his fingers.....marvellous. It's mental images like the aforementioned that help me sleep at night. As long as Jimmy is on this revolving mound of rock we call earth, everything seems ok.
Jimmy Saville, sorry, SIR. Jimmy Saville has been a bit of a shocker and a bit of a crazy icon for about six decades. He started life as a miner, (obviously he didn't become a miner as soon as he was born or anything, that would be a bit mad, instead he waited 'till he left school before he took on this most noble of jobs).....it was apparently this fact that inspired my little Jeremy to take up mining as his full time job, anyway......but it wasn't long before our Jimmy took his place amongst the stars in the "Top of the Pops" studio as a presenter, and subsequently his place in the nation's heart as a bit of an oddity, but a loveable oddity at that, (actually, not a loveable oddity, more of an egomaniacal oddity, but that's still a fabulous thing to be). Jimmy really found mass adoration however, when he took his place on evening tv with what can only be described as the legendary "Jim'll Fix It".....Jimmy had finally found his vocation. He was the one man who would one day realise our childhood dreams, and "fix it" for us. Jimmy may never have fixed it for me but he did give me an irrational fear of all things that jangle and he taught me life's biggest lesson, the fact that nonsense is cool. Yes, nonsense....I mean, did he ever make any sense when he spoke? I think not. And as for the grunting.....well I don't want to know what that peculiar series of funked up exhaling noises was supposed to signify but it certainly succeeded in scarring my impressionable young mind!
Back to nonsense though....I strongly believe that it was early exposure to Jimmy that taught me the wonder of nonsense.........In nineteen-hundred and sixty-seven Mr. John 'Johnny' Lennon of 14 'the Boroughs' High Gate commented wryly to the populace, "Man, you should've seen them kicking Edgar Allen Poe" (Poe being the author of such well known poems as "The Raven"). This comment was silly. And rightfully so.
Mr. Oscar 'Big Boy' Wilde of 27 "the Grange" Wildsgrove once said many things. One of these pertained to nonsense but as I can't recall the exact wording, I won't waste any more of your valuable time. I hope you appreciate it.
I, for one, love nonsense (kippers onion gallery trumpets). It's liberating. Much like the way Marie 'Mary' Antoinette of 96 "The Mews" Harlow became liberated from her head. Marvellous.
Being silly is far more interesting than being normal. Let's all try it. Ready? And a 1, a 2, a 4, 9, 7, 12.......poem good cheese camping jam kinder style modern kitty rock jeremy venus underpants Irish cloth paint ink murray morality wiggly flump geez karr nimp palap ug na co sup nine zub zub zub wheeeeeeeeeee...........
Picture the scene: A club. A dark and wintry Thursday morn. A man approaches the bar and says to the barman,
"Can I have a pint, please".
Understandably the proprieter will be much offended and slaps will inevitably be delivered. But if this foolish man had used nonsense, say by deciding to utter the replacement words of -
"Vadenhove talks to sales at Christmas"
Imagine how this will brighten the tapster's day. Undoubtedly free beverages (and possibly some crisps) will be in the social pipeline. Marvellous. C'est tres variable. Philippe has humourous, filthy rags. Monologues.
In conclusion, I think it is only fair for me to surmise that without Jimmy Saville, his giant cigar of comedy, his excessive use of the language of gibberish and his day-glow leisure garments, the world would be a pretty bleak place. In his 74 years on this green earth Jimmy has been, a miner, a dancehall manager, a fundraiser extraordinaire, and a tv presenter and still he manages to keep his finger on the pulse, he is always 7 steps ahead of the fashion industry, eternally waiting for the return of the shell-suit to this month's "must haves" section in countless fashion magazines and he always knows what the word on the street is.....come to think of it, what is the "word on the street"?, where is "the street"? One day, I will find this mysterious street, pick up any words on it and become the Earth's Warrior Queen..................anyway, Jimmy rocks, and so help me God I'm going to convince the whole world of this fact...............
