I really liked the band PLAN E of his, what do you think about it? - "It's really original. It's not really the music I listen to. I like a couple of songs. I especially like the 3 inch mini CD's, I think that is the best PLAN E stuff he has released. By the way, the next thing we are going to do is a "10 inch now because we never did a "10 inch before either. It's going to be a real special thing. I can' really tell you too much; it will be released around next Christmas (2001). It is a Christmas related thing, but we hate Christmas, I can tell you that, it?s the most disgusting period of the year. We are going to do this statement on how we really feel about Christmas. It is not going to be like GEHENNAH did..." What about KING DIAMOND, is it going to be like that? Are you going to wear one of those hats? - "It's not going to be funny at all. It's going to be the ultimate statement on how we feel about Christmas. And it is going to be a "10 inch release. And Jani is going to release that of course." What is the main thing you hate about Christmas? - "It is stupid! The hype starts now already in mid November..." That late? In America it starts right after HALLOWEEN. That's when Christmas starts. But people I already talking about this in September. Like buying their Christmas gifts for everyone so they are sure they get their shopping done. It's just a big consumer holiday. - "What I hate especially is that you have to get together with your family and you have to wear normal clothes etc. Every fucking year I get the same box of chocolates from my grand parents that go directly into the trashcan. It all makes me want to puke." It is useless. The only thing I like about it is I travel all across the country and visit my family. But our tradition is that we have this huge party where all this Metal people shows up and gets drunk. Including my father, which is actually quite a strange character himself. It is really fun because we don't see each other very often. But it has nothing to do with the Christmas holiday except the fact that everyone gets time of so we can go and party. That's the way it should be I think, but it could be anything.  - "It is one thing that is good about Christmas, they show fucking good cartoons on the TV!"Like what? - "It's always the same kind of thing. The Disney stuff, the Christmas special." (The grinch? The green grinch guy? Is that the one you are talking about?) - "Which one?" The (grinch), he is the green guy who kind of destroy Christmas. - "I am not sure...but you know, just the normal cartoons. That's what I do during Christmas, watching TV." Are you a cartoon fan? - "Not really, but at Christmas I am. I like also THE SIMPSONS and SOUTH PARK, but who doesn't?" I thought you were a character in SOUTH PARK, you should be! - "I agree!" Are you guys going to come back to the States? - "There was some talk with an agency, but I haven't heard from them so I guess they are not interested. It is a nightmare to get there." What have been your experiences here? Do you like it? - "I like some of it, but to tell you he truth I have began to think differently about the whole America. The guy from AMORPHIS said it the best, he said its like sugar coated Russia" Interesting! - "It's true, it's lie you are a functioning society that doesn't function." How so? What seems like it doesn't function in America? - "I don't know, don't ask me those hard questions!" I never been to Russia so I can understand what this statement means, you probably have a better idea of it than I do. -"We played in Russia, it was nice. I was fucking surprised how it was because I was expecting it to be real low class, dirt and shit everywhere. But it was pretty modern there. The people who spoke English there spoke it much better than we did, that amazed me. And it was so god damned cheap, it was unbelievable how cheap it was." Who booked those shows? I know that the band IRON MONKEY had some gigs booked in Russia but it fell apart when they were halfway there. Some of the problems were that they were dealing with so many mafia people promoting these shows. So they were in an awkward situation, pretty unsafe. - "We used this guy called Constantine, he had booked CHILDREN OF BODOM before. It was only one gig in St. Petersburg. He told us that he wanted to bring bands to Moscow but it was impossible because the whole Moscow Rock club scene where run by mafia! Did you hear what happened with CRADLE OF FILTH?" No I didn?t. - "After they had played their show in Moscow the mafia people approached them and said the next time you play here you book the show with us or we will kill you." Ohh, wow".... - "It is a brutal place you know. You don't want to fuck with those people." No, not at all! I guess CRADLE OF FILTH is a pretty huge event and that they want their fingers in that. Talking about those kinds of stories. It makes me wonder about that statement about sugar coated Russians would apply in the states, but it makes sense because the same sort of thing happens here, but it is not so direct. - "You know what I hate in the States? It's how the clubs treats the bands. We come half way through the world to play in the States and we are treated like shit. Like a fucking demo band or something." Like you should be really grateful that we are allowing you to play in our clubs, it's ridiculous. I know that too from playing in Europe with my band, the respect for musicians in Europe is bigger. - "At least we should get food and drinks you know. In the states you have to buy everything yourself, and then they take 15% of your merchandise, which is something I can not understand is possible." It's basically the same thing as with the mafia running the clubs taking their cut. How did you enjoy the New Jersey METAL FEST? I know that Wino and the guys from his new band SPIRIT CARAVAN said you were the best band on the festival. Did you have a good time there? I guess I saw you once and you were like 'GO AWAY!!! STAY AWAY FROM ME!!!!' - "I was fucking wasted! It was OK but how it was organized was a fucking joke. And with the two stages divided by just a curtain I couldn't believe it." I never saw anything like that before. Two bands playing extremely loud at the same time with a piece of cloth separating them! 'Ohhhh, let's put a curtain in the middle, that will separate it...'.One band might play something a bit more melodic and then one of those total grind bands would start up. -"We were supposed to be the headliners on Friday but when I heard that I said immediately no fucking way because I know it always runs late and they cut the set. That's what happened to SENTENCED." Did you get paid for that? - "We got plane tickets, that's it, it's ridiculous. But that is over now; we won't do that shit anymore that we don't get paid. You know, we have to pay rent and shit. I rather stay home even if I get paid plane tickets. There are always expenses. You want to buy shit and stuff. You need to eat, you need to drink. So it is kind of stupid to fly 10 hours and then spend 200 bucks over the weekend. It changed our way of thinking completely. So if this means we are never going to play the states again, be it." That sucks for me; you guys played in New York before didn't you? - "Oh god, that's one of the worst shows we ever done!!! It sucked so badly. The audience was like... I don't know what they were expecting? That we had corpse paint and 1000 kilos of nails? It really makes me want to puke thinking of that show!" What were they doing? Nothing? - "Nothing, just standing there like a déjà vu of East Germany '94 or something. And the P.A. was total shit!" Who put on that show? LETHAL WEAR? - "Yeah." That guy gone out of business now, he has a pretty bad reputation around New York. - "I can't really complain because they treated us extremely well. So the audience sucked but that's not their fault of course." Do you do anything besides IMPALED NAZARENE? Any other bands or? What do you do? - "Drink, and collect porno! That's pretty much it." What music are you listening to these days? - "Just before you called I finished listening to DARK ANGEL'S 'Darkness Descends'. My CD player is fucked so I have been playing a lot of my old vinyls. I have been playing the new IRON MAIDEN, I like that. I also bought the 'Ed Hunter' computer game and I don't understand why people says it sucks." I haven't played that, what is it like? - "You just kill people. You do nothing but just shoot people and it is fucking great. And with the IRON MAIDEN music in the background of course, it's a fantastic idea. I'd like to have a IMPALED NAZARENE computer game, that would have to be with goats and stuff." Is that the first time you met goats? - "To tell you the truth that was one of the best days in my life. That was fucking great. They had two baby goats, the parent?s goats, two sheep etc. I was playing with the goats the whole day; it was really a nice time. It was really beautiful out there." Was that the first time you saw goats? - "I seen goats yes, but never fed them." Goats have come up quite a few times in your lyrics, what's the reason for that? Is it about goats or thee Goat? - "It is like a trademark. Every album must have at least one goat song, that's a must..." But in the beginning it wasn't a trademark? - "Then it was thee Goat... the whole thing started with 'Goat Perversion' and it continued from there. Wasn't even thinking about it like that back then. But it started to grow and grow and I thought that on every album there must be a goat song. There is actually this thing we say we will be doing in 2010 or 2015. We will release a goat collection CD with nothing but the goat songs. And then we will go on the goat world tour where we will play nothing but the goat songs. And then we will have a huge stage show related to goats." Instead of riding out on motorcycles like JUDAS PRIEST you can ride out on a goat! - "There is a 2nd thing that will happen on the next IMPALED albums, that's the 'Angel Rectum Bleeds' and 'Angel Rectum Still Bleeds'. And now we are going to continue the story. Like George Lucas does with STAR WARS, he does a (triquel), so I will do a song on the next album which will be a (triquel) to this. If George Lucas can do it, so can I. We will have the goat thing going and then we will have the angel rectum thing going." |