IDIOTS & RETAILING
ADVICE FOR IDIOTS
IDIOTS & COMPUTERS
IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE
AN IDIOT'S IDIOT
I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk
noticed that I had never signed my name on the back of the credit
card. She informed me that she would not complete the transaction
unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it
was necessary to compare the signature on the credit card with the
signature I just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in
front of her. She carefully compared that signature to the one I
signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.
An actual tip from page 16 of the HP 'Environmental, Health & Safety
Handbook for Employees': "Blink your eyelids periodically to lubricate
your eyes."
My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office
ofa large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have
problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in
one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming
from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She
asked the individual behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said
he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.
Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing
a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a
photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier,
and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect
wasn't telling thetruth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the
suspect confessed.- --