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General Information

Your Name:
Phone Number:
Place of Work:
Describe yourself using exactly three words:

We're going to start with a series of have you evers...

1. Told someone you hated them and meant it?
2. Wished someone to die and they did?
3. Eaten a turkey sandwich with relish?
4. Watched the ball drop on New Year's Eve and wished you were dead?
5. Eaten jelly with a finger?
6. Sucked jello off a plate?
7. Told someone they were fat and meant it?
8. Watched animals die on the Discovery Channel and enjoyed it?
9. Chewed on a Barbie's leg?
10. Talked to someone outside of the car inside the car and they couldn't hear you but you forgot they couldn't?
11. Eaten a burrito as big as your head?
12. Eaten something that isn't an accepted food product?
13. Ran into a glass door that you thought was open?
14. Bought a Hallmark card?
15. Been incarcerated?
16. Harvested barley?

Now for a new series of questions...

1. Jelly?
2. Taco?
3. Plant?
4. Olympic Sport?
5. Piece of hardware?
6. Type of pencil?
7. Body Odor?
8. Casserole Dish?
9. Naughty Word?
10. Hard Candy?
11. Appliance?
12. Board game?
13. Game show?
14. Precious stone?

Moving on to the Would you rathers...

1. Walk to school or carry your lunch?
2. Eat Petroleum jelly or silly putty?
3. Smell a doily or eat a cracker?
4. Tame the tiger or ride the nana?
5. Play tennis or eat potato?
6. Meat or potato?
7. Eat plant or chicky?
8. Swallow turd or nasty?
9. Hold the melon or tap a tree for sap?
10. Stub your nose or blow your toe?
11. Stub or yun?
12. Be decapitated or castrated?
13. Eat hair or eyelid?
14. Sleep with cheese?
15. Have sappy hands or nappy hair?
16. Top or bottom?
17. Eat jelly with a finger or smell butt?
18. Be named Buttcrap or Buttstain?


1. Do you regularly visit the BP car wash?
2. Do you like Pizza Hut?
3. Do you have more than 7 body piercings?
4. On average, do you eat beef more than twice a week?
5. Do you own a bowling ball?
6. Do you felo?
7. Do you cheese base?

Which do you prefer: yellow or toaster? Explain your reasoning.

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