"Ethan Luck (from the supertones) and I tried to act like hungry alligators in the pool. We started hunting our lighting guy Hal, he wasn’t so impressed"--Brian from Relient K

"I told Sears that they should re-name their company “Sears and Robot”, but they called mall security and I took off"--Matt T of Relient K

"I think when you go on trial they should have a parrot there that says guilty or not guilty for you, as a sort of courtesy"--Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey

"Instead of a trap door, what about a trap window? The guy looks out it, and if he leans too far, he falls out. Wait. I guess that's like a regular window"--Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey

"If you go flying back through time, and you see somebody else flying forward into the future, it's probably best to avoid eye contact"--Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey

"You know what would be the most terrifying thing that could ever happen to a flea? Getting caught inside a watch somehow. You don't even care, do you"--Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey

“Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you’ve got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn’t your biggest problem. Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash.” - Jerry Seinfeld

"If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it"--?????

“The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they are okay, then it’s you"--????

"It's too bad that whole families have to be torn apart by something as simple as wild dogs"--Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey

"Whether they ever find life there or not, I think Jupiter should be considered an enemy planet"--Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey

"He was a cowboy, mister, and he loved the land. He loved it so much he made a woman out of dirt and married her. But when he kissed her, she disintegrated. Later, at the funeral, when the preacher said, "Dust to dust," some people laughed, and the cowboy shot them. At his hanging, he told the others, 'I'll be waiting for you in heaven---with a gun'"--Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey

"Many people never stop to realize that a tree is a living thing, not that different from a tall, leafy dog that has roots and is very quiet"--Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey

We are told that Christ was killed for us, that His death has washed out our sins, and that by dying He disabled death itself. That is the formula. That is Christianity"--C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

"A Christian is not a man who never goes wrong, but a man who is enabled to repent and pick himself up and begin over again after each stumble"--C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

"Everytime you make a choice you are turning the central part of you that chooses, into something a little different from what it was before. And taking your life as a whole, with all your innumerable choices, all your life long you are slowly turning this central thing either into a heavenly creature or into a hellish creature"--C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

"The best way to find a mate is to head straight on towards God, and when your up to full speed turn to your right and to your left and say 'Hello'"--?

"To err is human; to forgive, devine"--Alexander Pope

"I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason and intellect has intended us to forgo their use"--Galileo

"You don't love a woman because she's beautiful; she is beautiful because you love her"--Anonymous

"If you love someone, let them go; if they return they were always yours, if they don't, they never were"--Anonymous

"If you judge people, you have no time to love them"--Mother Theresa

"Aerodynamically, the bumble bee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumble bee doesn't know it, so it goes on flying anyway"--Mary Kay Ash

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world"--Ghandi

"The greatest trick the devil ever played was convincing the world the he didn't exist"--Verbal Kent

"To assume that the human eye, with so many intricate parts all working together, could have been formed by natural selection, is, and I do confess, absurd in the highest degree"--Charles Darwin

"There is no neccessary reason for a difference to be an inequatlity"--Dr. Ed Hackett, Professor of Sociology at Arizona State University