The poems of Dorothy Parker are copyrighted by Dorothy Parker (and now her estate, I suppose). No copyright infringement is intended; I post these purely because I love them. 'Résumé' can be found in 'Enough Rope', 'The Poetry and Short Stories of Dorothy Parker' and 'The Collected Dorothy Parker'; if you like what you read, I strongly suggest that you buy at least one of these books.
Résumé (by Dorothy Parker)
Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.
To my English chums: résumé is American for CV.
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