No excuses.

OK, here are some of the horrors I've subjected people to in the past. See what a loser I really am. They're not "Chat up" lines, just appaulling things I've said to people of both sexes, all shapes and sizes. I'm not particularly proud of these, right? Actually this is really hard, all the funny things that I can think of were said to me, not by me...like the guy who said "nice dress, did you knit it yourself",,,but I'll add to these as I remember more. RUBBISH THINGS I SAID 1) What's your story then? You are an enigma. You are like...a question mark, in the form of a human. 2) You're not like other people- the way you think, it's somehow different. You think in a left handed way...you are left handed aren't you? 3) You have more than one name? Are you legion? 4) Don't ask me those questions, I won't answer. I am a tragic mystery. 5) Will you look at my website? 6) Are you known by friends as "cap-boy"? Because that's what we call you. 7) Why aren't you dancing? Cat got your legs? 8) How rude! First you sit in my seat, now you won't even find a light for my friend's cigarette. 9) So what other geeky things are you into? Do you have a website? Do you speak Klingon? Can you programme in C++? 10) Do you ever miss the binmen, so you have like an EC mountain of rubbish? And you don't know what to do with it and you end up leaving the binbags outside Charity Shops and that? 11) Scorpios are charming yet deadly you see. That's right, back off! And sorry about the charm thing, I just can't turn it off. 12) I always thought you were gay. 13) Hi, I'm Leila. You've probably heard of me. 14) You can tell a lot about people by their shoes. 15) Has anyone ever told you, you REALLY look like Prince Harry? Yes, yes you do! 16) (ok it wasn't really a chat up line, but it almost could have been, as I did say it to a young man I'd just met, and I was in a club) You're from Detroit? Tell me, have you seen the film "Detroit Rock City?" 17) Have you got a bigger one? Straw, I mean. (Lucy said this to a barman. I didn't discourage her though. In fact we hassled him, shamelessly, all night. He turned out to be minor celebrity Seahorses front man Chris Helme, and owner of the bar...) 18) Do you watch "Neighbours" ? 19) Tell me a joke. 20) Is your band influenced by Radiohead? (I think he missed the irony, but I had stifle my own hysteria while I was delivering this one)

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